Sad life of a Porn Star

[MA-Caver]

This was written from the perspective of the older brother of a porn star.
It's sad reading but important reading all the same. http://www.marieclaire.com/life/sex/advice/secret-life-porn-star

The last time I bought a porn magazine was in the fall of 1996. My girlfriend, Amy, had gone down to New York to meet some friends from college. As soon as she was safely out of the parking lot of our apartment building, I got in my car and drove to an adult bookstore in Enfield, CT, a town and a state far enough away from where I lived that I could be sure I wouldn't run into anyone I knew. When I got home, I went straight into our bedroom and lay down on our bed. Then I looked at all the pictures from cover to cover before choosing one woman to focus on.
I was paging through the phone-sex ads when I saw a picture of my sister.

Though this may be the drastic example of one of the extremes that these people go through. The story does reflect upon the effects to the family of said "star".
The effects of child abuse/molestation is evident here. Leading to drug use and eventually self abuse via eating disorder and sexual promiscuity. The denial of both brother and mother that anything was wrong with the girl.
Then the realization of rape and the long terms effects of the crime/offense not being treated properly.
It all adds up to a life of depravity and a loss of self-respect.

Sad reading to be sure.
But, as I said... important reading for it should make us think.

thanks to Ping for finding this article and showing it to me.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

It's a sad story, but I think says more on her life and it's problems than the porn industry.

 

[MA-Caver]

It's a sad story, but I think says more on her life and it's problems than the porn industry.

Well it gives one example of course and probably one to the far end of that extreme. There are probably others who have lived a fine luxury life on the other extreme end. Others that may have entered the genre or industry voluntarily and found it fun and rewarding ... but how many are those like that... really? How many are actually slaves to the industry? Slaves to the money to pay for the drugs and alcohol and extravagant lifestyle they've become accustomed to?
I'm sure Ron Jeremy could tell us some horror stories if he chose to, having been in that industry for a very long time.

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Another perspective
http://www.yesweekly.com/main.asp?SectionID=18&SubSectionID=44&ArticleID=887&TM=69687.82

 

[bdparsons]

It's a sad story, but I think says more on her life and it's problems than the porn industry.

Sounds like a weak rationalization for bad behavior. The industry's and the girl's. There are thousands upon thousands of people who grow up in the same terrible situation who don't resort to those choices. The insudtry's actions are despicable.

Bill Parsons
Triangle Kenpo Institute

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Reading the original story, the girl was:
- Molested as a child
- Raped
- A habitual Liar
- An Alcoholic
- A Drug Abuser

She gravitated to back alley porn. Possibly street walking.

Her family lived in denial, and apparently did little to "save" her, choosing to condemn her rather than try to get her help.

There is a portion of the sex industry that thrives on those types of people, the lost victims.

She also could have died on the street, OD's, ended up kidnapped and sold into bondage overseas, or a dozen other worse things.


Ron Jeremy, Heather Hunter, and a few other "names" have books on the market. The industry as a whole, has it's good and it's bad. Despite some pretty strict health rules which include regular testing, it's still seen as "everyone's got an STD". The myths are pretty bad. Reality, is different.

I've read a few (dozen) porn star bios. Some, went in blind and nieve, lost control and crashed and burned. Some went in smart, stayed smart, and came out ok.

Some other tales/perspectives:
Harry Reems - http://nymag.com/nymetro/movies/features/10988/
Heather Hunter - http://www.amazon.com/Insatiable-Rise-Porn-Heather-Hunter/dp/0312368844
Ron Jeremy - http://www.ronjeremy-themovie.com/

Of course, there's always the famous Tracy Lords case too.

I've also read numerous stories. Drug OD's, suicides, murders, AIDS. Google "Lara Roxx". Her first film, worked with someone infected, and contracted AIDS. She was 18.

It's not a life I'd want.

 

[MBuzzy]

Seems to me that the industry is simply filling a need. A lot of people say how horrible it is, but the porn industry makes A LOT of money every year. It is supported by someone and obviously that is not a minority. The public as a majority obviously has no problem with it.

Pornography Time Statistics
Every second - $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography
Every second - 28,258 Internet users are viewing pornography
Every second - 372 Internet users are typing adult search terms into search engines
Every 39 minutes: a new pornographic video is being created in the United States

Internet Pornography Statistics
Pornographic websites 4.2 million (12% of total websites)
Pornographic pages 420 million
Daily pornographic search engine requests 68 million (25% of total search engine requests)
Daily pornographic emails 2.5 billion (8% of total emails)
Internet users who view porn 42.7%
Received unwanted exposure to sexual material 34%
Average daily pornographic emails/user 4.5 per Internet user
Monthly Pornographic downloads (Peer-to-peer) 1.5 billion (35% of all downloads)
Daily Gnutella "child pornography" requests 116,000
Websites offering illegal child pornography 100,000
Sexual solicitations of youth made in chat rooms 89%
Youths who received sexual solicitation 1 in 7 (down from 2003 stat of 1 in 3)
Worldwide visitors to pornographic web sites 72 million visitors to pornography: Monthly
Internet Pornography Sales $4.9 billion

http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html


That's a lot of people who do support it - whether they say so in public or not. I'm not intending to support, only point out another side of the story. The industry and the workers are not the only ones to blame. One could hold the users more accountable for perpetuating the need.

 

[Sukerkin]

I agree with elements form both sides of the debate on this one.

It is a sad truth that a propotion (unknown to us) of the industry is of the ilk that leads to the outcomes in the OP. But it is also true that it is a huge money-making enterprise and that the internet would not really exist as anything but a shadow of it's current self without it.

Bandwidth and security are two things upon which the explosion of the Net has been predicated and without the salacious industry under the spotlight here neither the hardware or the software would have developed that enables to browse at megabit speed and shop on-line.

The puritan idealist in me wishes that the industry did not exist but the realist side has to admit that it is impossible to effectively legislate sexuality. The best we can hope for is strong regulation that protects those who elect to venture into the 'trade'.

 

[tellner]

What I find interesting - and by "interesting" I mean "infuriating" is how little it says about the woman and how much about the author.

We actually see little or nothing of her so-called "secret" life after she leaves home. She obviously doesn't get along with her family. She took some pretty serious damage. She makes or made (we don't know) her living in porn. She drifted in and out a couple times years later and has no contact with her family.

Is she happy now? Has she dealt with the past? Does she have a spouse or lover? Children? A different job? Was she ever up for one of the industry awards? What are her friends like? How does she feel about her mother and siblings? Is she alive? How is her health?

We know absolutely nothing about her and how her life turned out. The author just doesn't seem to think it's important. He's still keeping The Secret and doesn't want to know.

Her brother raped her from the time she was a little girl and he was nine. You have to wonder where he learned how to do that and what secrets sainted dead Daddy took to his grave. Their mother seems to have been absolutely clueless and done nothing to figure out what was wrong or do diddly about it before she left. The writer was a willing party to covering up the abuse. The closest you see to any sort of compassion is that he helped clean her up when she came home drunk and raped but that he felt uncomfortably aroused by the whole thing.

What I find particularly interesting is his attitude. He doesn't hate his brother with a deathless passion for banging their beloved sister like she was a cheap gong. He's not angry at their mother for not seeing what was going on all those years. Most of all he feels no sense of responsibility whatso-****ing-ever for his own complicity.

No, he's ashamed that she has fallen so low as to take off her clothes and have sex for money. Such a shande for the neighbors! G-d forbid her nephew should hear about what a kurve she is. He still keeps one of her professional pictures hidden away somewhere. But he'll have to get rid of it so that his darling son doesn't find out.

Does anyone else think it's a little creepy that a guy keeps a stroke magazine with pictures of his sister?

Does it seem the least bit odd that his only concern is that his son not find out?

Could he have, sometime over the years, just once, have looked up his sister and come clean? Would it have killed him to say "I know what happened. I am ashamed that I stood by and did nothing. Can you forgive me?" Maybe before his marriage he could have said "I know how hard it must be for you to be around us. Thank you for taking part in the wedding."

Actually, it might have. She has dealt with her past. Maybe she dealt well. Maybe she didn't. We don't know. All we know is that he's still stuck in his own box and is very smug and self-righteous about refusing to leave.

My acquaintance with porn actors and actresses is pretty scant. From the ones I've talked to, yeah, there's a lot of damaged souls out there. Some deal poorly. Some get better. But one common refrain is "I do what I do on my own terms. Nobody makes me. And I get paid to do these things. Nobody is taking them away from me."

It's all about playing what you're dealt.

 

[MA-Caver]

Reading the original story, the girl was:
- Molested as a child
- Raped

- A habitual Liar
- An Alcoholic
- A Drug Abuser

Molested and raped were the things that happened. Habitual lying, stealing alcoholism and drug abuse are the symptoms of what happened. Her method of dealing with those two horrors.

Again I'm saying that this gal has lived through probably the worse of the extreme end of the pornographic life... with the exception of child porn which is probably a far worse life to live.

Also remember the famous John Holmes who had become less popular (career decline) with hetro porn and gravitated to gay porn shooting only one full length film, and contracted aids... and died.