1. Lightningstar

    Lightningstar White Belt

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    This is a question to all the women on here:

    Are you and the men at your studio treated equally? Do people have you do less pushups/ have you do different things/ etc.? Do they go easier on you during sparring then the guys?

    Just curious.
     
  2. gkygrl

    gkygrl Green Belt

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    Well, I have only been doing MA for the last 4-5 weeks and I am doing Combat Hapkido and am only 1 of 3 women. We are not treated differently than the men.

    We do all the same stuff.

    I personally like that.
     
  3. tellner

    tellner Senior Master

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    Writing on behalf of my wife....

    1. Nobody is treated equally. Everyone is treated according to what they can do and what they need. That said, our teacher and very few of the people in the class treat people differently as women.
    2. Everyone does the same thing subject to personal physical limitations.
    3. There's one guy who does go easier on women during sparring. But given how, umm, venerable :) he is it's not an issue. Otherwise, no.
     
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  4. Jade Tigress

    Jade Tigress RAWR

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    Exactly right Tellner. Exceptions in my school are made according to ability, not gender. As long as you are trying your best, what more can be asked? Everyone is pushed to their limits and encouraged to improve, no one is given a free pass. We all have differing levels of ability and progress in training and our individuality is taken into account. As a woman, I physically can't keep up with the men who are the same, or higher rank than I am, when it comes to push-ups. But I am far better than new students, including men. We do *mantis* push-ups, and one arm push ups which are extremely hard for me. We are supposed to do the mantis push ups on our finger tips. But after a year and a half of training, I still can't do them on my fingertips. The guys can. But the new (male) students can't do them properly even on their hands, and I can. So, it's according to ability, and that's how it should be.
     
  5. Kacey

    Kacey Sr. Grandmaster

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    As others have said, everyone is treated in comparison to their own abilities (rank, age, size, physical (dis)ability - but not gender)... the only exception may be the couple who are dating; she hits him, but he holds back when aiming at her - although he's getting better at not doing that. As far as men going easier on women - why should they? Women are, statistically, more likely to be attacked by men than by women - if the men held back, they would be putting the women at a disadvantage should they actually need to defend themselves, so what would be the point of that?

    Certainly, my seniors and fellow students have never held back on me... even if I might have wanted them to do so at times!
     
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  6. tellner

    tellner Senior Master

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    It really depends on the level of sparring you engage in. If it's hard or full contact the whole strength and mass thing comes into play. Men tend to have more size and strength and can soak up more hard hits. One fight is different than getting hit on a regular basis; it has to be taken into account if things get rough more of the time.
     
  7. bookworm_cn317

    bookworm_cn317 2nd Black Belt

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    Yeah, I get treated just like the male students.
    No, I'm expected to do the same amount of push-ups as everybody else.
    What is this "going easier on me during sparring"? I do not know what that means.:wink1::p
     
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  8. Kacey

    Kacey Sr. Grandmaster

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    Actually, I was referring more to the old theory that says "don't hit women, they can't take it" - which doesn't exist in my class. As I said, allowances are made for age, size, rank and (dis)ability (I have 2 students with cognitive delays; 1 has CP, 1 has Downs' - no one hits either very hard) - but not gender. For example, I have 2 teenage students who are very nearly the same size, a 16 year-old boy who is 5'7", and a 14 year-old girl who is 5'8", both slender, both about 130 - and they both get hit with the same approximate force due to their size. Gender does not play into it. As I said, going easy on the young lady because she's a girl is not in her best interest, any more than going significant harder on the young man because he's a boy would be in his. And in practice, she's harder to hit, and able to take harder hits, than he is... in large part due to the fact that she's been in my class a year longer, and is 3 gups his senior (she's a 1st gup, he's a 4th gup).
     
  9. Sukerkin

    Sukerkin Have the courage to speak softly

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    I know that in discourses on this before I've made the point that, for those of us of a certain generation, it is so far outside of our social programming to hit women that we cannot help but 'go easy' during sparring.

    However, by continual exposure to repeatedly well phrased points like Kacey's above I can logically accede that it is indeed true that to not strike at a woman as hard as you would a man is undermining her training. I still don't think that I would be comfortable sparring full contact with a woman but at a less aggressive force level I reckon I could try my hardest to go in as 'honestly' as I would against a similar sized man.
     
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  10. tellner

    tellner Senior Master

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    That makes sense, Kacey.

    My only concern is that fraction of men who will hit women harder, not let up when they tap and so on because they're women. They are rarer than they once were, but you still find them.
     
  11. Jade Tigress

    Jade Tigress RAWR

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    About 4 years ago I participated in an interschool tournament for charity. In the sparring portion I worked my way up to sparring a male who was a rank above me. (Don't ask, it just worked out that way). Well, this guy had no control and hit me HARD every time. I got cut above the eye (in the eyebrow, think boxer). The sparring was stopped, my Sifu was called over, and I was allowed to continue. This guy was beating the crap out of me but I refused to quit and even got a few shots in on him.

    Anyway, it was later said by both my Sifu and his Sifu (who was the head of our system, which was a mesh primarily of Southern Shaolin, Arnis, and Qinna), said that the guy should have been disqualified for lack of control. (I finished third, behind 2 higher ranking males, that guy finished second). Was it a lack of control? Or was it that I was a "girl" and he was going to do everything in his power to let me know I was no match for him? I don't really know.

    All this to reiterate Tellners comment above. They're out there, though fortunately on the rare side. The only other thing that comes close is some (not most) training partners tend to use heavier resistance during drills, but I deal with it. If I do the technique right, strength doesn't matter.
     
  12. Kacey

    Kacey Sr. Grandmaster

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    Yes, I used to know one... luckily, this only came up in class. When we got divorced, every other student in the class offered to beat the crap out of him for me, in a situation where class rules didn't apply. He moved to another state before anyone ran into him in an "appropriate" situation.
     
  13. tellner

    tellner Senior Master

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    If he was one of those I'm surprised you got divorced and didn't opt for homicide :shrug:

    The idea of being in the same martial arts class as one's recent ex just raises "Bad Scobies" to a unheard of heights :(
     
  14. Drac

    Drac Sr. Grandmaster

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    Female police cadets are NOT treated any differently as they will do the same job as their male counterparts..I DISLIKE the don't hit her she can't take it because she a woman mentally, many of the ladies do too..I will step in an Uke,( ooops cant use that karate word in the academy) be the suspect to insure that she can do a technique rather that instilling a false belief that her technique becasue her male partner doesn't have the heart to hold her or and allow her to do a technique...
     
  15. imitation_vanilla

    imitation_vanilla Yellow Belt

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    We all do the same warmup and stretching together at my school, which is how I like it. The only person who goes easy on me is a sweet fifteen-year-old I often partner with; she doesn't want to roll over me because she's bigger and "She's nice! I don't want to hurt her!" Sometimes when sparring an instructor will walk me through a technique and let me submit him, not because I'm a woman but to train and encourage me.
     
  16. imitation_vanilla

    imitation_vanilla Yellow Belt

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    If someone isn't respecting tap-outs, though, s/he should be immediately removed for sparring. That's unacceptable an dangerous.
     
  17. JR 137

    JR 137 Black Belt

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    In the dojo I train at, everyone's treated equally. Equally doesn't mean the same though. Everyone's different, has different abilities, different priorities, and so on.

    Women are allowed to do push-ups on their knees and use their palms instead of knuckles (we're on hardwood floors). Some do, some don't; all are told it's their choice. Men are expected not to use their knees nor palms. We do as many as we can the expected way, and if we can do more in a modified way, then do it.

    People have physical limitations and/or injuries. We always work around them while being honest with ourselves.

    My dojo is almost 50/50 men/women. Women aren't given any special treatment. I take it easy with some women, and I take it to say with some men. I go heavy with some women and with some men.

    It all depends on who you're working with on an individual basis, not what gender they are. I'm not going to go all out on a woman who I know I'll hurt any more nor less than if it were a man.

    Taking it easy on someone for stupid reasons doesn't do anyone any good. Nor does going hard for equally stupid reasons.
     
  18. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    Miss you Drac.
     
  19. Buka

    Buka Grandmaster

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    With us, people are treated according to their skill level and size. Personality comes into play a little bit as well. (An introvert is encouraged and led slightly different than an obvious extrovert)

    In any kind of sparring it's by weight and skill as well. Except for black belt (and seasoned brown). If you're a black belt you should be able to fight anyone, of any size, any age and any gender.
     
  20. drop bear

    drop bear Grandmaster

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    Girl got her nose bloodied today. But then she kicked a guy in the groin.

    So it evens out.
     

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