Please put your hand back

Steve

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Is it rude to wipe you're hand before shaking, I know I've had sweaty hands before and I wiped my hands off once before shaking hands
LOL. If your hands are sweaty or clammy, it's kind of a tough situation. Rude not to wipe them off, IMO. :)
 

jks9199

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At least with, "please put your hand back," Im using the magic word, please. So Im asking nicely.
If you really don't want to shake hands, why not simply say "Sorry, I've been sick." Or "I'm sorry -- I've got something on my hands." Or even simply "Hey, nothing personal... I just don't like to shake hands."

Shaking hands is a common social practice, but there are social ways around it, too, because there are legitimate reasons and times not to do so. These social courtesies are vital to lubricating interaction; if anything they're more important with the people you deal with the most rather than strangers. They're more than empty forms of simply "I said please, so I'm being nice." I wonder if you understand this... I can say "Sir, please ..." do something, and depending on tone and expression it can be a polite, courteous request, an order... or a snide insult.
 

jks9199

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over here being liverpool - north wales corridor - wouldn't even get a slap on the wrist for laying someone out cold for showing bad manners or total disrespect and the cops know that so they don't do anything about it.

failure to shake their hand implies that they've got really bad germs n diseases n stuff - totally disrespectful to them and that's all that's needed (actually takes a lot less than that sometimes) unless you look at them wrong and then well yup............ pine box.........

and chances are that you wouldn't get done for that either --- it's part of the personal safety laws - "your honour he drew his hand back as if to hit me so i got in first to protect myself your honour"

slap on the wrist and maybe a small fine and told to behave from now on :) you just gotta love english/welsh justice :)

I'm kind of skeptical that in either Queensland, Australia, or Liverpool, England, there'd be no legal repercussions for slugging a stranger who refused to shake your hands, assuming the police were notified. I know communities (either geographic or social) that a newcomer who was rude under their rules could easily be slapped, beaten, stabbed, or even shot, and within that community, calling the police would be unlikely especially if merely punched or beaten -- but those are "special" rules for those communities. Kind of like being disciplined by doing pushups in a martial arts class or military school... I can't tell someone walking down the street to drop and give me 20 for something as a general rule. (Though it might be interesting to offer people pushups or other exercises on the side of the road in lieu of getting a ticket for traffic infractions...)
 

jezr74

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I'm kind of skeptical that in either Queensland, Australia, or Liverpool, England, there'd be no legal repercussions for slugging a stranger who refused to shake your hands, assuming the police were notified. I know communities (either geographic or social) that a newcomer who was rude under their rules could easily be slapped, beaten, stabbed, or even shot, and within that community, calling the police would be unlikely especially if merely punched or beaten -- but those are "special" rules for those communities. Kind of like being disciplined by doing pushups in a martial arts class or military school... I can't tell someone walking down the street to drop and give me 20 for something as a general rule. (Though it might be interesting to offer people pushups or other exercises on the side of the road in lieu of getting a ticket for traffic infractions...)

What he's getting at is there is a middle ground where it's not so uncommon for a minor disagreement to be settled with a scuffle. Especially up further north where the humidity only allows for a few minutes scrapping then a beer to cool down and become best mates. But these scraps are normally mutual between the participants, we are not talking about a mugging etc..

If the police get involved so be it, but will depend on the level it escalates to, you likely will just get shuffled along, as long as it hasn't gone beyond a "civil" scrap.
 

jezr74

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So this is why Australia has a low crime rate, because stuff over there is allowed which would be a crime in most other places.

Think of it this way, when you spar are you breaking the law as soon as you make contact?

To be honest I'm not sure when a mutual fight becomes criminal. By any law..
 

drop bear

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Think of it this way, when you spar are you breaking the law as soon as you make contact?

To be honest I'm not sure when a mutual fight becomes criminal. By any law..

There is a public order thing affray or something. You get a fine. But that is if the police had to break it up.

Photon guy wandering into a police station complaining he got punched in the head because of his issues with hand shaking wouldn't get much support.
 
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PhotonGuy

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I can't tell someone walking down the street to drop and give me 20 for something as a general rule. (Though it might be interesting to offer people pushups or other exercises on the side of the road in lieu of getting a ticket for traffic infractions...)

I would love that. I would much prefer to get some good exercise instead of a ticket which would involve a fine as well as, in most cases, points on my license and a rise in my insurance cost.
 
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PhotonGuy

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Think of it this way, when you spar are you breaking the law as soon as you make contact?
No it wouldn't, not any more than making full contact in a boxing match is breaking the law.
 

jezr74

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No it wouldn't, not any more than making full contact in a boxing match is breaking the law.

Yeah I agree, I don't think getting into a fight is breaking the law either until it gets to the level of reckless endangerment, grievous bodily harm etc..
 

donnaTKD

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LOL. If your hands are sweaty or clammy, it's kind of a tough situation. Rude not to wipe them off, IMO. :)

LoL in my job i often wipe my hands off before shaking hands cos they're normally covered in grease and such and i don't want the other person to get mucked up cos of it. sometimes i just look at my hands and then run them down my pants leg and then shake :) all anyone has to do is look at the environment i work in :)
 

tshadowchaser

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as has been suggested before if you do not want to shake hands there are ways of avoiding it in good tast. Perhaps saying" "I'm sorry but I may have been in contact with Poison Ivy and I do not want to infect anyone"
 

Steve

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as has been suggested before if you do not want to shake hands there are ways of avoiding it in good tast. Perhaps saying" "I'm sorry but I may have been in contact with Poison Ivy and I do not want to infect anyone"
You might also consider just routinely picking your nose as you meet someone.
 

elder999

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Two leaders of armies met on the field of battle to parlay, under a flag of truce. To enforce the truce, they grasped each others sword arms.

Thus was born the "handshake," offered as a social token by way of saying, "Here, take my sword arm-I bear no weapons or ill will towards you, and we are well met."

To shake hands, then, is a lie, sometimes, though a socially necessary one-this old meaning has been lost over time, and it means something else (many "something elses") -it's a useful tool.

To decline one, though, why not simply say, I don't shake hands. Nice to meet you, though, and leave it at that?

 
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donald1

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I don't get it... He was either talking about the contents of his book or his life? Maybe both but the confusing part I'm not quite sure why he wrote "don't touch me " as the title, he talked about his childhood, comedy career and game show career and that doesn't t add up. But maybe I'm just not good at listening...
 
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PhotonGuy

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So lets say somebody shows up at my door when I didn't invite them and I don't want to see them and they put their hand out to shake hands. In that case, if I don't want to see them and I certainly don't want to shake hands I should tell them, "please put your hand back," and "please don't come at a time like this." It is not a good idea to show up at somebody's door uninvited and its common sense to not show up at certain times, such as when the sun is down. In some places, it is altogether smart to not show up at anybody's door uninvited because in some places you can be shot if you do that. I wouldn't shoot somebody for showing up at my door uninvited but from now on, if somebody does and I don't want to see them I will tell them to please leave and I will tell them to please put their hand back if they put their hand out because I've got rights and Im exercising those rights and if somebody does show up and I don't want to see them I certainly don't want to shake hands.
 

Dirty Dog

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So lets say somebody shows up at my door when I didn't invite them and I don't want to see them and they put their hand out to shake hands. In that case, if I don't want to see them and I certainly don't want to shake hands I should tell them, "please put your hand back," and "please don't come at a time like this." It is not a good idea to show up at somebody's door uninvited and its common sense to not show up at certain times, such as when the sun is down. In some places, it is altogether smart to not show up at anybody's door uninvited because in some places you can be shot if you do that. I wouldn't shoot somebody for showing up at my door uninvited but from now on, if somebody does and I don't want to see them I will tell them to please leave and I will tell them to please put their hand back if they put their hand out because I've got rights and Im exercising those rights and if somebody does show up and I don't want to see them I certainly don't want to shake hands.

Most people just wouldn't answer the door. Or would follow any of the excellent and polite ways people have mentioned for declining to shake hands.
But if being an *** is the only way you can think of to decline, then by all means feel free to do so.


Sent from an old fashioned 300 baud acoustic modem by whistling into the handset. Really.
 
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donald1

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That sounds a little extreme, I wouldn't want to have someone knock on my door late at night yet that shot could kill them. There's a chance they don't want any trouble, maybe they need help want help or to inform of something. They could be a threat but they will most likely not knock.
 

donnaTKD

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i just wouldn't answer the door fullstop :) if people want me then they know where i'll be and roughly when i'll be there :)

but your excuses and stuff are just lame bordering on the ridiculous. if someone asks you a question and you're polite enough to
(1) acknowledge them

(2) give them an answer

and they say "thankyou for your help" and then offer a hand to you then it's impolite and severely bad manners not to shake it cos you took the trouble to help them :)
 

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