One of the good ones

Discussion in 'Women of the Martial Arts (Women Martial Artists)' started by Flea, Jun 6, 2018.

  1. Flea

    Flea Beating you all over those fries!

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    I have a close friend (who I'll call John) who has a gorgeous baritone that carries kind of like Orson Wells. And like many of us, when he gets excited he forgets to use his Inside Voice which can get kind of interesting at times. He and I are both history nerds who love going to museums and watching documentaries together, which often narrows our outings down to just the two of us.

    One night were were at a bar near closing time, with just one other couple a few tables away. I really enjoyed watching them over John's shoulder - Mister Right was consistently lost in her eyes, hanging on her every word, and stopping to wrap her coat around her when she looked chilly(!)

    Meanwhile, John was telling me about the documentary he had seen about Hedy Lamarr. I didn't know it, but apparently there was a genius under that vampy exterior. She loved acting but got bored easily, and developed a radio technology and donated it to the Pentagon rather than applying for a patent. The Pentagon accepted it, and shelved it simply because it had her name on it. At this point John forgot all about this Inside Voice ... "DONT WORRY SWEETIE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BAT THOSE SEXY EYES AND WEAR SOMETHING SKIMPY. ITS WHAT YOU'RE BEST AT, AND IT'S ALL ANYONE WANTS FROM YOU ANYWAY."

    After a minute of this, it was clear that Mister Right was paying close attention and glancing at me over John's shoulder. As soon as John added something about the Pentagon and patent law, I laughed and Mister Right let it go. Only a tiny flash of eye contact passed between us, but I sensed that he had my back. It's nice that I don't need any guy's protection, and if anything I was prepared to usher John safely out the door.

    But it's still encouraging (especially in these times) that there are men of good conscience who pay attention. I try my best to do the same.


     
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  2. oftheherd1

    oftheherd1 Senior Master

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    Flea, I thought some others might comment. Good for you for you astute observation of all that was going on. Also good to know that apparently chivalry really isn't dead, even if somewhat bruised and convalescing.

    Good to see you posting again.
     
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  3. Flea

    Flea Beating you all over those fries!

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    Thanks! My state led the nation (?) in reports of bias crimes last year, and my community is especially sensitive to it after last year's nightmare situation in Portland. My city actually offers free workshops on how to intervene safely in situations like that to protect the target and give everyone a nonviolent escape. I wonder if Mister Right attended one? At this point I don't even remember what he looks like so I'll probably never know.

    Either way, it's reassuring to see that the model offered in that class can be effective even when applied nonverbally.
     
  4. oftheherd1

    oftheherd1 Senior Master

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    That sounds like a great class that everyone could benefit from. I don't think we have anything like that where I am at.
     
  5. Flea

    Flea Beating you all over those fries!

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    Basically, it's an expansion of this method with discussion and role-plays for practice. It could easily be adapted to lots of situations - racist or other bigoted attacks, mental health crises, or just garden-variety bullying. I helped teach a couple of them and would be happy talk with you in more depth, or even hook you up with the main teacher I worked with in my community. The more, the better!
     
  6. Buka

    Buka Grandmaster

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    I think different options are for different people. I appreciate what advice was given, but I'm someone who can't stay out of injustices that happen in front of me. And the very last thing I'm ever going to do is to ignore the attacker/aggressor.
     
  7. Flea

    Flea Beating you all over those fries!

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    As you wish. What happened in Portland last year was a wild fluke, but criminals in this country have a sense of one-upmanship nowadays. So size up a situation very carefully before you wade in.
     

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