Noticing Conditional Confidence

Brian King

Master of Arts
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Every day there are assaults on confidence. E.G. With the purchase of this shampoo and the consumption of this brand of beer comes irresistibility. Drive this type of car, go to this school of higher learning, wear these shoes, have this hair cut, drink this sports drink take this supplement. Do so or otherwise risk being second best or worst.


Other assaults-
Am on a roll now and can’t miss. Or the - Dang, can’t hit a darn thing, knew it was going to be bad after the first miss ‘zones.’


Conditional Confidence.


conditional |kənˈdi sh ənl|
adjective
1 subject to one or more conditions or requirements being met; made or granted on certain terms


confidence |ˈkänfədəns; -fəˌdens|
noun
the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust:



How does this conditional confidence relate to martial training? I have a friend who is an extremely talented martial artist, raised in rough neighborhoods on the East Coast, golden gloves boxing championships, Aikido black belt, BJJ rankings, has trained champion fighters. He came out to visit a few years ago but his travels were interrupted by an injury. He had torn up his knee and ankle while training the day prior to starting his trip. Some of the first words out of mouth were words of relief at seeing a known friendly face. His confidence was shaken by an incident at the airport with a couple of drunk jerks. It did not come to blows but was close enough that because of his injuries he had come face to face with doubt about his ability.


In his book Zen Putting- Mastering the Mental Game on the Greens. Dr Joe Parent wrote:


“For most people, confidence comes and goes. That is conditional confidence, and is based on recent results. It depends on information from a relatively short period of time. It is temporary and fluctuates, because it is determined by whatever success or failure you’ve experienced in the last few holes. Conditional confidence is like asking your putter after each hole, “What have you done for me lately?”


My friend had spent a lifetime becoming a very proficient martial artist. His training left him in great physical shape, very strong and fast, but was built on the perception that he had to be/get stronger and faster than the other guy(s) in order to gain victory. His training at the time did not prepare him for dealing with his own perceived, imagined or actual weakness. He had training but when possibly having to rely on it while injured his thinking was along the lines of Dr. Parents quote above. What has the training done lately? His confidence had been negatively effected by his circumstances and conditions.


To further quote from the book ‘Zen Putting’:


“Unconditional confidence means taking a bigger perspective, independent of moment-to-moment results. Unconditional confidence is less an expression of certainty about the outcome than a deeply held belief that you can handle whatever happens. Unconditional confidence includes a feeling of contentment about your ability to meet the challenges you are facing. How you feel about yourself need not depend on how your last putt turned out. “


“The most profound level of unconditional confidence is an underlaying belief in your own worthiness as a person, beyond putting, beyond golf, beyond any circumstances of your life. It is unshakable trust in your basic goodness as a human being”


It is easy to see how conditional confidence can negatively effect training and performance. So how to combat the effects of conditional confidence, or better yet, how do we gain unconditional confidence?


There are a number of steps that can be taken, but it is a process rather than a quick fix. Here are a few.


1. Learn to recognize when your thinking and actions are based on positive conditional confidence. Just made six pool shots in a row and feeling pretty good about the chances of the next shot, pause for mini second and notice the euphoria and the feeling of can’t miss, enjoy it, luxuriate in it even. Learn to recognize and appreciate that particular inner state.
2. Learn to recognize when your thinking and actions are based on negative conditional confidence. Missed the last six pool shots in a row and feeling like it is hopeless on the next complicated shot, pause for brief second and take note of your current inner state. See it from the outside and from the inside. See the physical manifestations as well as the mental. Once the inner state has been cataloged, immediately begin the process of returning to a normal positive/neutral inner state.
3. Appreciate both of these inner states, the positives and the negatives and really learn to recognize them in yourself and in others, especially while training. Once the ability to recognize these various states and the factors building up to the states is achieved, then work can begin on manipulating those factors or there effects.
4. Develop a quick fix for use while under laboring under conditional confidence. Set achievable goals, focus on small victories, use breathing to strengthen etc.
5. Most importantly closely and honestly examine and monitor your reasons, goals and the methodology of the training to minimize setting up a conditional confidence trap.


Regards
Brian King
 
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