Mental Health: MOST Neglected Part of Fitness (IMHO)

[wingchun100]

I am going to be brave and put this out there because this is a part of who I am. Those who are open-minded will respond positively. Those who aren't...I don't bother with anyway.

I just wanted to say that MENTAL well-being is probably the most neglected part of training, whether it is in martial arts or anything else. Personally, I think that is because people are so busy running around doing all kinds of things that HAVE to get done, that they think they don't have the time to go sit on a therapist's couch and talk about their feelings or their damaged childhood or whatever for an hour a week.

Really? One hour per week? Look at it that way, and I am sure you could spare it.

Granted, some people might not even need therapy. Well, in that case...I am not speaking to those folks. I am speaking to those who might understand the things I am about to say about MY experience with mental health issues, which as of this moment (in the name of full disclosure) are undiagnosed. However, an evaluation is in process.

For many years I have often felt like something was "wrong" with me because I am unable to pick up on small social cues that most people seem to easily decipher. Unless someone says something to me bluntly, I don't get it. Let's say as an example, there is a woman I want to date, but she isn't interested. Instead of saying "you're not my type." she always makes up excuses as to why she is too busy to go out. In my mind, she must honestly just be THAT busy! (This type of thing happened more when I was younger. As I have gotten older, it has gotten easier for me to decipher this particular signal.)

I have also noticed that I have some things in common with people who are diagnosed with autism. There are some people who are so marginally on the spectrum that you might not even think there is anything going on. Yeah, that's me.

There was also a period of time where I would be driving to Wing Chun class, only to turn around when I was halfway there. Why? Because it felt like I was driving to work. I lost all interest in everything that I had previously been passionate about: writing, music, working out, and Wing Chun. Naturally, the culprit that I suspect in this scenario would be depression.

At any rate, my point in this whole ramble is that if you ever feel like this too, if you ever feel there is something "wrong" with you, if you find your interest waxing and waning, then you might want to consider the path I am currently taking. It can't hurt to get an evaluation done and find out there is NOTHING going on, after all. And once you have that answer, then you can eliminate those possibilities and move on to hopefully figure out what the issue truly is.

In closing, I want to address one thing regarding all of this: I have had friends try to dissuade me from going through with this. Their logic? "You don't want to be lablled, man!"

Here is my response to that: I can either NOT have the label, NOT know what is wrong, NOT get the help, and deal with a social stigma anyway...OR I can make life easier on myself by knowing what is going on and getting the help I need...and as for the "Stigma" that comes with the label...to hell with it!

I'm not sure why I felt like unloading all of this today. I know it can be a dangerous thing because, thanks to the anonymity of the internet, people feel safe in being incredibly cruel. While I hope that doesn't happen here, and I hope people appreciate the openness/vulnerability of this post, I am aware it's possible that the trolls come out in full force. LOL

 

[Steve]

I'm glad you're getting this out, and (no pun intended) it's just crazy how our cultures treat mental health. My brother was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult. When he was in school, he was bullied. It was merciless in high school. He was very stubborn and never took the easy way out. He enlisted in the Army, volunteered for Airborne Infantry and, ended up serving in combat in both Panama and Iraq.

I suspect that he started drinking about then, too. He got out of the Army, got a degree in, of all things, anthropology, and ended up re-enlisting in the Navy, where he served on the Kitty Hawk.

Ultimately, the drinking got worse and he was eventually discharged honorably, but not without a lot of things to work out. He had several physical disabilities, but it was the mental stuff that caused him the most trouble.

Counseling really helped him. He got sober, got a job and started getting his life back on track. When we have a heart attack, diabetes or high blood pressure, we go to the doctor. But for some reason, when we have mental or emotional problems, we tend to think we can work them out for ourselves.

 

[wingchun100]

I'm glad you're getting this out, and (no pun intended) it's just crazy how our cultures treat mental health. My brother was diagnosed with Aspergers as an adult. When he was in school, he was bullied. It was merciless in high school. He was very stubborn and never took the easy way out. He enlisted in the Army, volunteered for Airborne Infantry and, ended up serving in combat in both Panama and Iraq.

I suspect that he started drinking about then, too. He got out of the Army, got a degree in, of all things, anthropology, and ended up re-enlisting in the Navy, where he served on the Kitty Hawk.

Ultimately, the drinking got worse and he was eventually discharged honorably, but not without a lot of things to work out. He had several physical disabilities, but it was the mental stuff that caused him the most trouble.

Counseling really helped him. He got sober, got a job and started getting his life back on track. When we have a heart attack, diabetes or high blood pressure, we go to the doctor. But for some reason, when we have mental or emotional problems, we tend to think we can work them out for ourselves.

Yes, and now people feel that Asperger's should NOT be its own separate thing. I think it has been shoved back under autism now.

 

[Steve]

Yes, and now people feel that Asperger's should NOT be its own separate thing. I think it has been shoved back under autism now.

Yeah, I don't know. I understand that it's on the autism spectrum. I think what it's called is much less important than how it's treated and understood. I see it like cancer. Cancer is cancer, but there are different kinds. And even within a specific type of cancer, there are meaningful differences.

Autism is one of those things that has such a wide spectrum, it's reasonable to me that there are sub-categories within the larger diagnosis.

 

[Buka]

I could write pages on this subject. Probably will, too. And please forgive any attempted humor inserted, but it's completely intentional. I've studied mental health for a long time. Took a lot of courses in college, none of which were for a career path, but because I wanted and needed to know. Worked with a lot of counsellors over the years, was always the officer at work who escorted the detainee to the mental health facilities or lockups, dealt with a lot of kids, and discussed and taught about the subject in Martial classes, as well as brought in a few professionals to lecture from time to time to my students.

Poor mental health does not run in my wife's family - it gallops. My family, they were just nuts. But it was an entertaining kind of nuts and wasn't bad at all.

You know from a lot of my posts that my mind is like a bowl of fruit loops. While true, so are the minds of most people, or at least part of their minds. One of the things I've found is people think, because of the way their mind works, that they are completely different from the what they consider the healthy norm. But they are not, they just think they are. And they think they know what the healthy norm is. That's part of what the mind does. It's a great servant, but a terrible master.

This is my Great Uncle, Sifrado (in the moustache)

In his will, I was the sole beneficiary of the Green Canaries. (I even named those suckers.) Unfortunately, had to share the rats with my no good, second cousin.

 

[Transk53]

Being on the spectrum is too pidgeon holed for me. Yes full blown Autism is the case obviously. But there are those of us who exsibit symptoms through FAS that seem that way. Still though, I have very aloof to my mental health issues as I have become older. Good on the OP for the candid post. As the post says, it is not for the likes of me concerning therapy, but I am ignorent enough to say it doesn't work for many people, as it obviously does. Didn't work for me, as I emmediately started to fight it, and pretty much any notion I wasn't right in the head. Then I realised I aint right in the head, I live with it. If therapy works for anybody, or if anybody feels they need, I always suggest that. But also say you have to be honest with yourself. IMHO of course.

 

[wingchun100]

I could write pages on this subject. Probably will, too. And please forgive any attempted humor inserted, but it's completely intentional. I've studied mental health for a long time. Took a lot of courses in college, none of which were for a career path, but because I wanted and needed to know. Worked with a lot of counsellors over the years, was always the officer at work who escorted the detainee to the mental health facilities or lockups, dealt with a lot of kids, and discussed and taught about the subject in Martial classes, as well as brought in a few professionals to lecture from time to time to my students.

Poor mental health does not run in my wife's family - it gallops. My family, they were just nuts. But it was an entertaining kind of nuts and wasn't bad at all.

You know from a lot of my posts that my mind is like a bowl of fruit loops. While true, so are the minds of most people, or at least part of their minds. One of the things I've found is people think, because of the way their mind works, that they are completely different from the what they consider the healthy norm. But they are not, they just think they are. And they think they know what the healthy norm is. That's part of what the mind does. It's a great servant, but a terrible master.

This is my Great Uncle, Sifrado (in the moustache)

In his will, I was the sole beneficiary of the Green Canaries. (I even named those suckers.) Unfortunately, had to share the rats with my no good, second cousin.

I wish I could say the nuttiness in my family was entertaining. LOL

I've long suspected my mom has bipolar disorder, but she has never been diagnosed...nor would she consider going to be, if I suggested it.

How frustratingly ironic that such a mental health issue is one where you need a lot of help, but that very same issue makes you resistant to getting it.

 

[Buka]

I think one of the best benefits of talking with a counsellor is learning that you're not as different from most people as you thought. And from the right counsellor, how the mind actually works.

Bi-polar. Lot of that around. Had a guy at work a few weeks ago, apparently he decided it would be a good idea to stop taking his Bi-polar medication, replace it with smoking ice for two days, come to the airport to do a whacky version of a made up kung fu form while screaming he was a Tae-Kwon-Do Master. Then suckering one of our cops right in the mouth. It went downhill for him from there.

 

[wingchun100]

I think one of the best benefits of talking with a counsellor is learning that you're not as different from most people as you thought. And from the right counsellor, how the mind actually works.

Bi-polar. Lot of that around. Had a guy at work a few weeks ago, apparently he decided it would be a good idea to stop taking his Bi-polar medication, replace it with smoking ice for two days, come to the airport to do a whacky version of a made up kung fu form while screaming he was a Tae-Kwon-Do Master. Then suckering one of our cops right in the mouth. It went downhill for him from there.

Luckily, my mom has never gone THAT out there, but she has had her moments of incomprehensible, convoluted thoughts. One time I was hanging out with a friend of mine; she was 19, and I had turned 21. We were bored and talking about what to do. She said, "You're 21 now. Get me some beer." We were laughing about it. I came out of my room to find my mom in tears, saying that I was going to get arrested because I was in my room, talking near an open window through which the neighbors could hear me about buying alcohol for an underage female.

Yeah, I had a childhood that was...not always much fun. lol

 

[Xue Sheng]

I could write pages on this subject. Probably will, too. And please forgive any attempted humor inserted, but it's completely intentional. I've studied mental health for a long time. Took a lot of courses in college, none of which were for a career path, but because I wanted and needed to know. Worked with a lot of counsellors over the years, was always the officer at work who escorted the detainee to the mental health facilities or lockups, dealt with a lot of kids, and discussed and taught about the subject in Martial classes, as well as brought in a few professionals to lecture from time to time to my students.

Took a lot of Psychology courses in college too, and at one point was considering a career path...that was until I discovered it would likely require a PhD. I remember taking abnormal Psych and the first thing the Prof told us was "You will come across a disorder in the book that you are absolutely convinced you have....but you likely do not" and you know...he was absolutely correct about the first part.... however I have not yet had the courage to find out if he was right in the second part of that statement.

 

[JowGaWolf]

I'm not sure why I felt like unloading all of this today.

Usually when we dump things out like this, is because we have been keeping it in for longer than what we realize. Dumping stuff out is good from time to time. It's like a big Exhale when you feel that you need to be heard. Constant dumping is just complaining.

I'm no doctor but feeling like something is wrong with you is a natural part of life. It happens. I would be more concerned about someone who never felt like something was wrong with them, or never questioned if something was wrong with them. Those are the people that I watch carefully. Asking yourself if there is something wrong with you is a self-evaluation that allows you to gauge how you feel about your place in society. Most people go through this as teens, some of us get to the stage where we give ups and say. "There's nothing wrong with me, so everyone else will just have to F-off and deal with it."

Sane people question their sanity.

As for mental health and my kung training. Medical research is showing that martial arts improve brain functions and delays some mental issues. For me Martial arts is the thing that keeps me sane. 5 days out of the week I get to train, get fit, stay healthy, and be free from the world's troubles and stress for 1 - 2 hours each class.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

Took a lot of Psychology courses in college too, and at one point was considering a career path...that was until I discovered it would likely require a PhD. I remember taking abnormal Psych and the first thing the Prof told us was "You will come across a disorder in the book that you are absolutely convinced you have....but you likely do not" and you know...he was absolutely correct about the first part.... however I have not yet had the courage to find out if he was right in the second part of that statement.

As someone who actively practices as a mental hralth and substance abue counselor, I have diagnosed myself with about half the dsm at one point or another. You don't realize you don't actually have the disorder/illness until you talk to someone who actually does, and see what they actually mean by the symptoms (there's mania, and then there's Mania).

 

[Tez3]

Instead of saying "you're not my type." she always makes up excuses as to why she is too busy to go out.

Women don't like saying something like 'you're not my type' because it sounds like a cruel putdown and most will prefer to say no in a more gentle manner. There is also the fact she may be busy, many women are working, looking after a home, caring for children/parents etc on their own and actually don't have time to date.

My family, they were just nuts. But it was an entertaining kind of nuts and wasn't bad at all.

There is a lot to be said for eccentricity, the lack of conforming to how people think you should behave or just being yourself really. Too many people think that acting in a different way from them these people must need counselling/treatment etc. Yes, many people do have serious mental health issues that should be addressed but there's also a lot of people who march to a different drumbeat, in some societies this is celebrated, sadly though in many it's not and they are labelled as mad/weird/mentally ill etc.

but feeling like something is wrong with you is a natural part of life.

I've never felt there was anything wrong mentally with me, but then I'm English and naturally eccentric. ( ain't that so Granfire lol) I live in the North Yorkshire Dales, with all the other eccentric people (if you don't believe me read the 'All Creatures Great and Small' books by James Herriot).

 

[JowGaWolf]

I've never felt there was anything wrong mentally with me, but then I'm English and naturally eccentric.

I shall remain silent for the sake of world peace and happiness lol.

 

[Tez3]

I shall remain silent for the sake of world peace and happiness lol.

LOL!. Seriously, though many societies want people to be all behaving the same, all to be within boundaries defined by what is 'normal'. If they aren't them they are packed off to therapists, if you insist you don't need a therapist then you are considered to be in 'denial'. a friend of mine, a military psychiatric nurse was on deployment in Afghanistan and seconded to an American unit. His opposite number there assured him that everyone everywhere had something wrong with them and everyone needed therapy/counselling, if you thought you were normal you were as I said 'in denial'. Strange thing though was that so many instances of actual mental health problems ie PTSD were actually either missed or ignored.

So... basically a child who cries 'too much' or doesn't 'cry enough', who doesn't behave as is thought 'normal' is already marked out for treatment. If your emotional response isn't what is deemed appropriate you are marked out for treatment, any event that happens as part of life such bereavement is considered automatically as a cause for counselling.

I do take mental health seriously but in certain societies people are assuming that many of the huge range of human emotions and reactions aren't acceptable yet mental illness is still actually stigmatised. People need to feel they can be themselves not something society wants them to be, there shouldn't be pressure on those who don't 'conform' to how others think they should be, individuality should be embraced, many people would be a lot happier if those around them accepted them for who they are.

 

[wingchun100]

Thank you for all the thoughtful replies. I am glad I took the risk in being open about this.

 

[JowGaWolf]

LOL!. Seriously, though many societies want people to be all behaving the same, all to be within boundaries defined by what is 'normal'. If they aren't them they are packed off to therapists, if you insist you don't need a therapist then you are considered to be in 'denial'. a friend of mine, a military psychiatric nurse was on deployment in Afghanistan and seconded to an American unit. His opposite number there assured him that everyone everywhere had something wrong with them and everyone needed therapy/counselling, if you thought you were normal you were as I said 'in denial'. Strange thing though was that so many instances of actual mental health problems ie PTSD were actually either missed or ignored.

So... basically a child who cries 'too much' or doesn't 'cry enough', who doesn't behave as is thought 'normal' is already marked out for treatment. If your emotional response isn't what is deemed appropriate you are marked out for treatment, any event that happens as part of life such bereavement is considered automatically as a cause for counselling.

I do take mental health seriously but in certain societies people are assuming that many of the huge range of human emotions and reactions aren't acceptable yet mental illness is still actually stigmatised. People need to feel they can be themselves not something society wants them to be, there shouldn't be pressure on those who don't 'conform' to how others think they should be, individuality should be embraced, many people would be a lot happier if those around them accepted them for who they are.

Very well said.

 

[Steve]

I think everyone could benefit from a skilled confidant. I don't think that most people need medication, but some.

I agree that normal is subjective. I'm a weird duck myself and I like oddballs and eccentrics. But it's as damaging to dismiss the issue as it is to overreact. Writing it all off as americans overreacting is, in my opinion, going too far in the other direction.

 

[wingchun100]

There is a difference between being eccentric and having something going on that does not allow you to function. Sometimes it disrupts the ability minimally; other times, extremely. All I know is my own situation, and for me...if there IS something going on, then my life would be made easier if I knew what it was and how to deal with it.

Part of the problem is how people react to things. Okay, so let's say I am labelled with bipolar disorder. So what? The label isn't bad. I'm not bad. Hell, even the disorder itself isn't bad. It's how people react to it.

For some reason, people don't act the same way toward a physical disability that they do toward a mental one. I never quite understood that. Think about it: if it is "normal" to be able to walk with two legs, and you meet someone in a wheelchair, would THEY get as much flack as someone who says "I'm bipolar?" No, and the only difference I can think of is that you can SEE the wheelchair. You can't see whatever it is in their brain that makes them bipolar, or depressed, or whatever it may be. I think that's why so many people with mental health issues are basically told to "get over it." Without the ability to be inside their brain to know how hard it makes life for them, we can never really understand.

 

[wingchun100]

So sorry about the multiple posts. My computer froze up, and I had no idea.

 

[wingchun100]

Looks like I have a LOT of apologizing to do!