"... just wanted to talk"

[JowGaWolf]

I'm going to have to call you on that one - citation required

Commonly, it's the other way around, hence sayings like "women's intuition"...

It's my experience that women tend pick up on female cues better than men picking up on females cues. There have been numerous times where women have warned me about other women and I had no clue what they were seeing until I got neck deep into the situation, then I was like "Ohhhhh that's what she was talking about."
In reference to the video of the lady going off about the guy who got mad that she didn't respond to him, she even admitted that women don't know and that they are confused about how a guy will react or how he won't react.

There are some cues that women are excellent at picking up and there some cues that they miss. It's the same for men and there's nothing wrong with things being that way. For example, my wife can pick up and tell me which guys are most likely to "stab me in the back." I totally suck at that. She's been 100% right so far. She able to pick this up early on. If the situation was a flower she will tell you what flower will appear before the seed spouts. For me, I don't get a clue until I get a couple of leaves and sometimes the flower itself. However, when it comes to guys who are likely to do her harm, she tends to get into the "benefit of the doubt." mindset or "she doesn't want to judge people mindset."

I think things are like this because it's just easier to see things going on in situation when you can view it from the outside. You get a larger picture of what's going so you tend to see the cues better. For example, women who see female friends get "hit-on" (approached) tend to be more familiar with the warning cues, and will sometimes actually remove their friends from the situation. For me personally, I'm glad that women can pick up on cue that I can't see, because it gives me a fairly good double check on reality.

When a beautiful woman walks in the room I get a good chuckle, because I can see all the men position themselves to be "that guy of interest." If I was single, I would do the same thing, but with the purpose of how can I "beat out" the other guys without looking like I'm interested in the woman. Somethings are easier to see for women and somethings are easier to see for men. I don't think that's a slam on any one gender. It's just the way that it is.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Not a photographer I take it?

I used to be. I did nature photography 5 days a week rain or snow, and not once did I put myself in a dangerous position where I wouldn't be able to escape. From venomous snakes, to spiders, to hornets. There was always a way to get get a good picture without being jacked up by nature. If the risk was too great then I would just be happy with what I could get. Nature photos just aren't that important compared to my safety. You can ask that woman if the picture was worth the sexual assault, and if she had a chance to do it over again would she keep walking by instead of taking the picture. She would probably keep walking.

30 feet can entirely change the composition of a sunset photo - 5 feet can spoil it depending on what you're actually aiming to achieve.

Same for landscapes, or cityscapes - if you're going for something specific then there's A place, and that's it.

30 feet can mean the difference between you having enough time to respond and escape vs being attack. All I can say pick the one that is most important to you. When I took pictures there were times where I would wait until no one was near me before I took the picture, because I knew when I put the camera to my face, I'm totally unaware of what's going on around me, as I can only see what is in the lens. When I go and take photos with a friend, we would take turns. If one person is taking photos then another person is watching.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Not a photographer I take it?

I took this when I was into photography and I knew that there were just some angles I wasn't going to get. I wasn't getting paid big bucks to take this picture. It was a hobby.and the first concern was to exit the woods in the same healthy condition that I entered the woods. We both got lectured about those pictures because people thought we were within striking distance of the snake.

 

[pdg]

You can ask that woman if the picture was worth the sexual assault, and if she had a chance to do it over again would she keep walking by instead of taking the picture. She would probably keep walking

I must have utterly missed the story about that one, so I can't comment unless you redirect me (if it was in the middle of one of those rant videos you'll have to describe it...)

30 feet can mean the difference between you having enough time to respond and escape vs being attack. All I can say pick the one that is most important to you. When I took pictures there were times where I would wait until no one was near me before I took the picture, because I knew when I put the camera to my face, I'm totally unaware of what's going on around me, as I can only see what is in the lens. When I go and take photos with a friend, we would take turns. If one person is taking photos then another person is watching

I guess this is another instance where I just don't have the experience of living in a veritable hotbed of personal violence.

There is quite literally nowhere I've been where I've felt the need to take lookout shifts in case someone tried to attack me.

The only time I've waited for someone to move so I could take a photo is when they were walking through my frame.

Personally, I don't think I could live in a place that made me feel like that.

 

[pdg]

View attachment 21534
I took this when I was into photography and I knew that there were just some angles I wasn't going to get. I wasn't getting paid big bucks to take this picture. It was a hobby.and the first concern was to exit the woods in the same healthy condition that I entered the woods. We both got lectured about those pictures because people thought we were within striking distance of the snake.

Quite a nice shot

There's a few things in it that hint to me that you were a good few feet away for it

 

[JowGaWolf]

I must have utterly missed the story about that one, so I can't comment unless you redirect me (if it was in the middle of one of those rant videos you'll have to describe it...)

the woman in article and the guy hugging her tightly (the assault).

There is quite literally nowhere I've been where I've felt the need to take lookout shifts in case someone tried to attack me.

If you are out with friends and family then you probably do it without realizing that you are doing it.. A "look out shift" as you put it can be a simple glance of ones surroundings and just taking note of what's going on around you.

It doesn't have to be one of those things where you are all hyped up to take down an attacker that is magically going to appear from the bush. The best way to see this is to watch people in public. Find a group of 2 or more people together (as friends or family) and watch their behavior. When parents do the exact same behavior we usually just say that the parent is watching over the child. You will often find that there is one in the group that looks around. The video below shows similar behavior.

For me it's not bad neighborhood habit. It's just logical and makes sense to always have some idea of what's going on around you. If you are with a friend and you are bent down tying your shoes then your friend can actually be your eyes until you are able to stand up. Watch the heads turns and the eyeballs. You can actually see which people are actually paying attention to their environment.

 

[pdg]

If you are out with friends and family then you probably do it without realizing that you are doing it.. A "look out shift" as you put it can be a simple glance of ones surroundings and just taking note of what's going on around you.

Just out by myself - if I'm out taking pictures I'm generally alone.

 

[JowGaWolf]

There's a few things in it that hint to me that you were a good few feet away for it

yeah some people forget that cameras have zoom. We were far enough to get away in the event the snake felt like coming out of the tree. We left as soon as it appeared that it was getting irritated.

 

[pdg]

the woman in article and the guy hugging her tightly (the assault).

The article in the OP?

I can't see anything about taking pictures.

I also question the part about it happening "many many times" before to her if I'm completely honest.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Just out by myself - if I'm out taking pictures I'm generally alone.

If you out by yourself then you have no other choice but to multitask things. I don't remember taking too many pictures when I was out by myself. Within 3 years I may have done that maybe 5 or 6 times. When I go out in the woods, I try to have a +1 with me. I think much of that was just that some things were fun to do with other people. Running and Cycling were my solo events. I did a lot of that by myself.

 

[JowGaWolf]

The article in the OP?

I can't see anything about taking pictures.

I also question the part about it happening "many many times" before to her if I'm completely honest.

It was the very first post of the Livy Evans post. I'm with you on that one as well. "many, many, times." That's not a good sign. Many, Many times I got kicked in the groin. lol sounds like I either like it or I need to rethink some things about my life lol. If the article is referring to being approached "many, many times" in that manner of some guy invading her space then I can see that, but I can't see numerous guys trying to hug her. I know that women can be harassed often, but if it happens in the same place, and people are always trying to grab her then she needs to rethink some things, because that place just isn't going to be safe for her.

 

[pdg]

If you out by yourself then you have no other choice but to multitask things. I don't remember taking too many pictures when I was out by myself. Within 3 years I may have done that maybe 5 or 6 times. When I go out in the woods, I try to have a +1 with me. I think much of that was just that some things were fun to do with other people. Running and Cycling were my solo events. I did a lot of that by myself.

I've always been pretty solitary - MA classes and language learning are the only things I really do in a group setting (and the latter is still marginal).

It's never made me uncomfortable and I've never had trouble (maybe I'm not pretty enough )

 

[jobo]

He just wanted to talk. Then he wanted a hug. This woman's story is a must-read for men.

posting because this is one of the most frequent issues coming up in women's SD classes and conversations.
Please describe your _ specific_ instructions for women/girls who present with this issue.

I'm certainly interested in your understanding or rejection of his behavior. I'm much more interested in what you Teach women/girls. Please be very specific; break it down

Isn't this just some attention seeker building something out of nothing ? Nothing Of note happened, she went for a walk, some bloke tried to chat her up and have her a hug, then,,,,,, well nothing,,,, hugging random strangers might be a bit questionable, but you only have to say you have a no hugging policy, if you don't want a hug, I'm not infrequently hugged by women I've spent all of 5mins talking to, some random woman decided to kiss me last week after a brief conversation on the weather, blokes are always DECieding they want to shake my hand, blokes generally Only want to hug me if they are drunk, drUnks like hugging for some reason, non of these are worth a Twitter storm

 

[drop bear]

Isn't this just some attention seeker building something out of nothing ? Nothing Of note happened, she went for a walk, some bloke tried to chat her up and have her a hug, then,,,,,, well nothing,,,, hugging random strangers might be a bit questionable, but you only have to say you have a no hugging policy, if you don't want a hug, I'm not infrequently hugged by women I've spent all of 5mins talking to, some random woman decided to kiss me last week after a brief conversation on the weather, blokes are always DECieding they want to shake my hand, blokes generally Only want to hug me if they are drunk, drUnks like hugging for some reason, non of these are worth a Twitter storm

Yeah fair point photon guy had this issue with hand shakes a while back.

 

[Deafdude#5]

Attention seeker or not...the repercussions are real if one party has ill intentions.

The one thing I strive to teach my daughters is to be aware of their surroundings & to pay attention to the visual cues of people interacting with them.

 

[jobo]

Attention seeker or not...the repercussions are real if one party has ill intentions.

The one thing I strive to teach my daughters is to be aware of their surroundings & to pay attention to the visual cues of people interacting with them.

Well yes anyone is vulnerable if someone has I'll intent, women particularly so, but the tone of that is near hystericall , which is spreading a level of fear,\ paranoia that totally out of proportion with what actually happend.

 

[donald1]

The guy in this story is clearly a weirdo and the girl making the post isn't very bright. Also the lesson behind this is don't hug strangers. I was really compelled to do that, or at least I was until I read this article...

 

[Flea]

Some random stranger offering my dog a treat would be all the red flag I needed. My dog's trainer told me about how someone poisoned his dog that way. And while the odds of that are pretty slim, isn't that what Gavin de Becker called "loan sharking?"