I need some female advice

Discussion in 'Women of the Martial Arts (Women Martial Artists)' started by TheOriginalName, Nov 12, 2007.

  1. TheOriginalName

    TheOriginalName Blue Belt

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    Hi all you wonderful women of the MA world,

    I've been training in a form of karate since april this year and have been loving it. Naturally it's taken over my life and i tend to talk and talk and talk about it.......

    The thing is my best mate has expressed that she would like to be able to do it but uses the excuse "but my cheast will get in the way".

    Now as a bloke i can't really comment of this....yes, she is large of cheast (DD) and small on stature (only about 5'). she is what i would call a healthy size....not to big but not small either...in terms of weight.

    So does she have a point?
    Are there things she could do so she could partake??

    I hope i've approached this respectfully.......as the last thing i want to do is get a MA-female offside....ahhhh

    Thanks for your time
     
  2. BrandiJo

    BrandiJo Master of Arts

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    My school back in Nebraska had several large busted females and they could do anything anyone else could.
     
  3. Kacey

    Kacey Sr. Grandmaster

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    It's only a problem if she lets it be... but then again, she may be using that as an excuse, because she doesn't want to tell you straight out that she's not interested in joining you in your obsession. Rather than just tell her that you talked to other women and they said it would be okay, you need to sit down with her and talk about why you want her to try it, and why she doesn't want to.
     
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  4. Carol

    Carol Crazy like a...

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    I'm about her size and shape. No, there isn't anything I can do because of the way I'm built. But, that's not the only way that a chest can get in the way.

    Having an (ahem) Scandinavian build can get a lot of attention, and not all of it is wanted or pleasant. There are some guys...even guys that are otherwise professional...that simply can't train with a voluptious woman and retain a sense of proper behaviour. . Yes, the instructor can be told after the fact, but the woman may not necessarily be left with a training environment that's comfortable and trusting. Plus, the trouble with "after the fact" is because something happened to begin with.

    She may simply not want to deal it. That's her choice, please respect it.
     
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  5. BrandiJo

    BrandiJo Master of Arts

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    Well said :)

    Dont push the issue, talk to her and express your view point but listen to hers... when it comes down to it training is up to her its not something you can force upon someone
     
  6. tellner

    tellner Senior Master

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    To add to what Carol says, it's not just guys who get all Pavlovian when they're in close quarters with a pair of good sized boobs. A lot of men, particularly younger ones, get freaked out about normal training contact with a pair. My wife had a heck of a time doing Wing Chun or grappling. It's like there was some magic hand repellent under her t-shirt. She ended up working more with the married, older and gay guys.
     
  7. arnisador

    arnisador Sr. Grandmaster

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    That was me. I always felt awkward touching a woman's chest, even if the technique unambiguously called for it. For a long time I'd simply try to avoid working with women. I eventually decided that was unfair and now do my best.
     
  8. Sukerkin

    Sukerkin Have the courage to speak softly

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    Some good advice given above already, as ever, ladies and gentlemen.

    All I can add to elaborate for the female friend of Name is that neither small stature or robust curvature need exclude someone from the martial arts. In my iai class, we have female practioners who fit both body forms (i.e. one is very small and another generously curved). Both have them hold rank in unarmed arts (one being a third dan karate).

    If the lady wishes to train, then you can reassure her that it will not be a problem working with the physique that she has.

    I wont comment overmuch on the 'personal contact' issue as my 'old fashioned' views (inculcated in my genes I reckon) are not particularly amenable to being changed to suit modern thought. I know I'm dodging here but, thankfully, in the sword arts about all I have to address in this regard is how a lady can modify a close-contact rearwards thrust without running a blade through some rather vital parts of her anatomy.
     
  9. HelloKitty

    HelloKitty Green Belt

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    Same here and no problems at all.

    I must agree. It can be awkward, and it's not uncommon...

    In my last school there were a lot of middleastern people. The women trained with some kind of burka and clothes under the dobok, and some men simply didn't talk to them (muslims or not), so when I started training with them, it was uncomfortable for several people. Specially self defense, when we needed to grapple other people's clothes or had more physical contact. I just could stand it for a few months, because you know in MA there aren't a lot of women and even for the instructors was complicated to teach me, and it was interfering with my daily training.

    All of that because we, women, have breasts xD

    I feel the same way about the situation ;) You can ask her directly.
     
  10. TheOriginalName

    TheOriginalName Blue Belt

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    Thanks everyone for your opinions on this rather different issue.

    The great thing about the relationship between us is that we are brutally honest with each other. On many occassions she has just said what others might call offensive things to me......but it's usually what i need to hear. And i do exactly the same thing.....

    So what i've sort of gathered is that she is likely using this as an excuse, and unfortunately its not limited to just taking part in MA.

    So now i'm going to tell her that plenty of other large busted women are getting out there and do something.....not nessisarily a MA but anything at all.....

    But don't get me wrong - she is like my sister....i just want the best for her.

    Thanks again......
     
  11. Dagney Taggert

    Dagney Taggert Green Belt

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    Just my two cents...

    Has she ever taken part in rigorous physical activity? She might be a little intimidated by that process, I know I was many years ago! And I was terribly insecure about wearing work out clothes. There are companies that make equipment designed for these issues. The Title 9 catalog has an excellent array of choices for women's work out gear.

    Bottom line however, is that this is her gig. If she does not want to take class with you, let the butterfly go. You will inspire more passion with your actions, not the verbal cajoling. Keep going to class.

    Dagney
     
  12. wade

    wade Black Belt

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    Give me a minute, I'm, still trying to refocus.

    Uh, what was the question again?
     
  13. kidswarrior

    kidswarrior Senior Master

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    We all do, partner. It's complicated. ;)

    Seriously, though, you've gotten some first rate advice from some of the finest people I've gotten to know here, so you're in good hands. :asian:

    Hang in there and train hard.
     
  14. Big Don

    Big Don Sr. Grandmaster

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    If she could bottle that, you'd make a fortune. :p

    We have two very busty females and they are fierce fighters.
     
  15. MA-Caver

    MA-Caver Sr. Grandmaster

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    An honest relationship is a healthy relationship... so long as you (both) are honest with yourselves. When people become offended or upset at something that is told about themselves by another, and it is the truth, they are angry, or offended because they are not honest enough with themselves to know the truth when they hear it. Knowing and understanding that the two of you should have a good long lasting relationship.

    Some women are sensitive and others ignore the contact when they have the right frame of mind that it is training and that the male who comes in contact isn't getting a freebie grope because it is not his intention.

    Depending upon your own belt/rank you may want to be the male who comes in contact with her during training if she is sensitive about other men touching her there despite their sincere intents to train/teach/learn a martial arts.

    But the ladies here have said it best... that she needs to explore her motives and her feelings before taking it up. If she's doing it for you, then she'll give it up later. If she doing it for herself (for whatever reasons) you've got a new practice partner when you're out of the dojo.

    Good luck to both of you. Keep us posted btw. :asian:
     
  16. kicksindabank

    kicksindabank Green Belt

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    Ummm...that is an intresting question. Well...I am a top heavy female. That was one of my questions I had about going into MA. I was afraid I wouldn't make the kata' and weapons look smooth. Then it hit me, its all about the heart.

    From then on, I practice with pride.

    So, tell you friend to go for it!
     
  17. Fiendlover

    Fiendlover Black Belt

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    i agree. theres nothing that comes to mind as having my chest get in the way.
     
  18. Being more top heavy than most (42 J) and only 5'1" I will say that yes they do get in the way but I am an extreme case and they have never stopped me but sometimes techniques don't look right for instance a center punch never comes out centered but that is purely asthetics in hyungs, if I want to deliver a punch to the solarplexes while sparing it will land there. Also in doing self devence there are certain techniques that just don't work for me because the length of my arms verses the size of my chest don't allow me to get close enough, but a good instructor is going to show you several defences against a hold etc. because the same goes for anyone that not every move works for everbody. I believe someone mentioned that she just might not be interested and that is a good possibility, but if she a few tips for her would be get a very good sports bra, if she still doesn't feel comfortable (not to offend but jumping jacks are pure torture for some of us especially if there is a mirror nearby!!) what I do is wear a very supportive bra with a sports bra over it. Hope this helps sorry I couldn't say their never a problem.:(
     
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  19. JustAVisitor

    JustAVisitor Orange Belt

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    Maybe that her concern is about her breasts physically being in the way. If that isÂ…
    First, tell her to buy a firm support bra, one that immobilizes her breasts. So they will not be bouncing around creating discomfort and occasionally embarrassment. (check out runners' stores)
    Second, tell her to expect some uneasiness at first, but then it will disappear after she will have made the moves her own.
    I have seen voluptuous women doing back flips, sweeps and all.
     
  20. imitation_vanilla

    imitation_vanilla Yellow Belt

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    If she's willing, have her come observe a class. It's her decision, but even we busty gentlewoman can gain so much from martial arts, it'd be a shame for her to miss out!
     

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