I hurt my friend out of love...

[Tez3]

I have to say I think the rape remark was bang out of order.

 

[Touch Of Death]

So, you've caused permanent injury to someone, because you wanted them to see how unskilled they were? Well, that's ****ing brilliant. Good job. Good thing it wasn't someone claiming they could fight off a rapist. I doubt the cops would believe the "I had to rape her because she said she could fight off a rapist and I had to prove her wrong, because I cared about her" bit. Some people, sheesh.

I didn't strike her. Chill out.
Sean

 

[Touch Of Death]

On the "then it's probably time she was!" part, I agree.

However I disagree with "Things like this happen all the time, mistakes made, lessons learned. ". How would you feel if you were the one hurt because your "well meaning" friend decided to show you the error of your ways? Should your instructor dislocate something on you as a correction? Break something? There are better ways, and any competent instructor will know that. Then again, is "The Trash Heap" a trained instructor, or just a student who aspires towards such "greatness"? I'm too lazy to look. :lol:

On the rest, no I didn't accuse him of being a rapist. I made a comparison to the logic of his statement. RIF!

We test the logic of our motion all the time. She is the one who wanted to hit me. She was not a student until that moment. There is no comparing letting someone hit you to rape. You are out of line with that logic. The snowball effect is a falacy.
Sean

 

[The Last Legionary]

Sorry, too busy chilling to continue here. As you can tell, I'm turning Smurf Nut Blue.
:rofl:

 

[Touch Of Death]

Sorry, too busy chilling to continue here. As you can tell, I'm turning Smurf Nut Blue.
:rofl:

Oh, by all means, defend your position. Logic is on your side.
LOL
Sean

 

[The Last Legionary]

Oh, by all means, defend your position. Logic is on your side.
LOL
Sean

Depends on the amount of cervesa I've had. LOL!

 

[shihansmurf]

Sorry, too busy chilling to continue here. As you can tell, I'm turning Smurf Nut Blue.
:rofl:

Have you been peeking?

Mark

 

[Steve]

I'm British we don't do sharing, we have to know each other for forty years before we get beyond discussing the weather, I kid you not.
We met an American couple a while back and within half an hour of knowing them we knew everything about them and their family including all the tragic bits, we were horrified tbh.
I get hurt all the time in training, it's not a big deal. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
I don't think she was hurt because her well meaning friend thought he was teaching her a lesson, she was hurt because he didn't duck when she punched him and she hurt herself, tough! One of our guys threw a punch the other guy moved and the lad who punched dislocated his shoulder, she could have done the same.
You may think I'm hard hearted, I'm not but I live and work with the British military who have an expression .......sympathy comes between s**t and syphilis in the dictionary. (will have to wait and see if that makes it past the censor lol) They endure suffering, mutiliation and death as well as fear daily out in the sandy regions so it's unlikely that any of us will feel for someone who punched someone and hurt their hand etc. Sorry but we're not known for having the stiff upper lip for nothing lol!

Tez, I have become friendly with many people in the UK and have never had a person repeatedly misinterpret my posts as you have. It's like you've decided to bicker with me and look for fault or offense where there is none. I'm confident, in spite of your continued lessons on British culture, that it has nothing to do with your being a Brit and my being an American.

For example, I'm not sure why you keyed on the word "sharing" as you did. I had to go back and look at my post to see what I might have written that would agitate you so severely. I still, frankly, don't get it. I wasn't suggesting that we all have a hug and cry it out. By sharing, I meant posting... anything. Believe me, I'm as appalled by the thought of a group hug as you seem to be.

EDIT: I went back and looked and I think you're the one who actually used the term "sharing." I was using it so that it would be clear what I was responding to. You said something about the OP not being likely to share anything with us again. My response being that if he were sharing with us and we lied to him, what's the point?

As for the rest, I have never said that the lady in this anecdote is without fault. Again, as plainly as I can say it, the OP needs to accept responsibility for HIS part in escalating (or failing to diffuse) the situation, which I believe is at least as significant as hers. While she was being annoying and rude, his behavior (in his own words) were equally so and I'm not surprised at the outcome.

 

[thardey]

How hard did she throw this punch? Did she throw it with all her weight behind it? Has she thrown punches before?

Typically, when someone strikes another object with a bare fist for the first time, they don't go whole hog on the thing - if they have punched things before, they realize that if you do it wrong, it hurts!

I've been in this situation before, with nothing coming of it -- usually I turn my left shoulder to them, give it a flex, and let them hit! They feel the solidness of the impact, feel a little sting, and then are open to instruction. Nobody's ever hurt themselves, because nobody's been stupid enough to hit me that hard without knowing what they're doing.

Stevebjj, to be honest, what turned me off from your first post was the sarcasm. It was neither helpful, nor instructive. (Which I responded to.) After the first post, you've made some really good points, but it's hard to separate them from the feeling I got from the first post of kicking ToD while he was "offloading" or sharing. You don't do that in an AA meeting, or a Anger Management class, that kind of sarcasm is counter-productive. Unfortunately that clouded the effectiveness of your later posts. Fortunately, ToD seems to have been able to take your points for what they were, and learned from them.

 

[Steve]

Stevebjj, to be honest, what turned me off from your first post was the sarcasm. It was neither helpful, nor instructive. (Which I responded to.) After the first post, you've made some really good points, but it's hard to separate them from the feeling I got from the first post of kicking ToD while he was "offloading" or sharing. You don't do that in an AA meeting, or a Anger Management class, that kind of sarcasm is counter-productive. Unfortunately that clouded the effectiveness of your later posts. Fortunately, ToD seems to have been able to take your points for what they were, and learned from them.

Fair enough. For whatever it might be worse, my initial post was less about sarcasm than incredulity.

As for the "offloading" or sharing thing, I said this in my last couple of posts, but I'll give anyone my honest opinion. As far as I'm concerned, why post on a public forum if you aren't interested in hearing points of view different from your own? I can admit when I'm wrong and have no problems with it, and I respect that there are people who disagree with me. It's okay. I don't mind. But as far as I'm concerned, don't as questions you aren't prepared to have answered. The original question by the OP was, "Should I have let it go so far?" The answer from me is unequivocably, "No, and then some."

Edit to add that I don't usually get into side discussions like the one with Tez, but in this case I feel as though she is repeatedly misunderstanding my posts, and so I'm trying to explain my position. In looking back, it may seem like I'm trying to beat up on the OP, but I'm not. I don't think this is all that big a deal, really. I just think that he should feel more than "a little bad." Ultimately, he should feel responsible, because he could surely have handled it better, so that it didn't go so far.

 

[Sukerkin]

I think you've done a very good job of expanding and explaining your position, Steve.

It's very easy to get things turned around and misinterpreted in textural communication. Something can be said that a voice inflection or an eyebrow tweak can utterly change the meaning of - with words on a screen much is lost.

We've all been misinterpreted at one time or another, sometimes badly. If it becomes a problem, PM's or e-mails are an excellent way to iron out 'creased' communiques as you can take your time and go into greater detail. Trying to do it 'in thread' often either fails or creates even greater problems - 'public' positions are harder to modify than private ones in every arena.

 

[seninoniwashi]

Honesty does not have to be guilty or apologized for.

regards
Brian King

Brian, I think that's one of the truist thing I've read on these boards!
Nice one :asian:

 

[Tez3]

Stevebjj, you've taken the fact I answered one of your points by quoting your post to mean that I was talking to you exclusively, I wasn't.
The sharing comment wasn't addressed to you. It was my opinion of the whole thing.

 

[Touch Of Death]

How hard did she throw this punch? Did she throw it with all her weight behind it? Has she thrown punches before?

Typically, when someone strikes another object with a bare fist for the first time, they don't go whole hog on the thing - if they have punched things before, they realize that if you do it wrong, it hurts!

I've been in this situation before, with nothing coming of it -- usually I turn my left shoulder to them, give it a flex, and let them hit! They feel the solidness of the impact, feel a little sting, and then are open to instruction. Nobody's ever hurt themselves, because nobody's been stupid enough to hit me that hard without knowing what they're doing.

Stevebjj, to be honest, what turned me off from your first post was the sarcasm. It was neither helpful, nor instructive. (Which I responded to.) After the first post, you've made some really good points, but it's hard to separate them from the feeling I got from the first post of kicking ToD while he was "offloading" or sharing. You don't do that in an AA meeting, or a Anger Management class, that kind of sarcasm is counter-productive. Unfortunately that clouded the effectiveness of your later posts. Fortunately, ToD seems to have been able to take your points for what they were, and learned from them.

Not hard at all really. And she did hurt her hand a little but that only lasted a few days. I later taught her a little trick on preventing injury by anchoring up through the center and hitting with the heel palm for now.

Sean

 

[thardey]

Not hard at all really. And she did hurt her hand a little but that only lasted a few days. I later taught her a little trick on preventing injury by anchoring up through the center and hitting with the heel palm for now.

Sean

That is odd that she hurt herself that badly. By "tennis elbow" I assume that to mean a pulled tendon?

Where did the punch land on your body?
(Now I'm asking so that this doesn't happen to me!)

 

[Tez3]

Tennis elbow is ...http://hcd2.bupa.co.uk/fact_sheets/html/tennis_elbow.html#2

 

[Steve]

Stevebjj, you've taken the fact I answered one of your points by quoting your post to mean that I was talking to you exclusively, I wasn't.
The sharing comment wasn't addressed to you. It was my opinion of the whole thing.

Okay. I give up. It's all me. It was a freakish combination of coincidence and my imagination. My fault entirely.

As for the rest, the only thing I'm unclear on is how she ended up with a repetitive stress injury from one punch. How many times did she end up hitting you?

Do you think your friend would be interested in coming here and providing her side of the story? I think that would go a long way to filling in some of the holes in the story, or at least provide an alternative perspective.

 

[kwaichang]

I feel kind of bad, but I have this female friend whom was throwing fake punches at me. I ignored the fients and continued with what I was saying to our other friend. She asked why I wasn't even flinching and I thought about it and explained that I somehow could tell that by the way she moved, I did not sense a threat. Later over a game of chess it came up that she felt she was capable of hurting me. With no bragging intended, I told her she would hurt herself before she ever hurt me. She demanded I up to feel the wrath of her punch; so, I did. She has been to the doctor twice since the incident.

I feel bad but, I felt she really needed to know, given her line of work, which is both security and bartending. Should I have let it go so far?
Sean

The way you lay it out, you couldn't have responded any other way. You tried to tell her verbally and she didn't believe; so physical is what she had to have to show her her dangerous belief.

 

[allenjp]

Depends on the amount of cervesa I've had. LOL!

Ummmm, that's cerveZa. Your Spanish ignorace is showing lol!!!

 

[allenjp]

You know, I've had a similar situation to this with a female friend of mine. She took a couple of months of Krav Maga with a very questionable instructor who seemed more interested in handing out belts so he could charge belt testing fees than actually training anyone (I know this because I had my son learning Okinawan Karate with him for about a year).

Aaaaanywho...she on occasion has sworn up and down that she could really hurt me if she wanted to. My reaction has always been to laugh and shake my head and say "OK". She has never actually demanded that I spar with her or anythng to that effect, but I'm not quite sure how I would handle it if she did.

My initial reaction is to think that I would spar with her, but take it easy and just tell her where she is exposing herself to attack or injury, maybe teach her a thing or two. But I really don't know if that would be truly feasible. I mean after all, if she is trying to prove she could really hurt me, she may really try to hurt me. I would really feel stupid if I allowed MYSELF to be injured like that.

I think I would probably end up taking her down and either pinning her or applying a submission just enough for her to feel the strain but not really injure her.

Anyway I think it's hard for anyone to judge that situation unless they've actually been in it.