Brother John
Senior Master
It's VERY understandable.
Touch is the very first form a communication that we have as humans. It's the first way that we know the positive (comfort from mommy/daddy....a full tummy) and negative (fell down, hungry, pain...etc.). Touch is extremely personal and probably one of the most intimate things we can do. Don't buy it?? OK... go up to someone you know that's not your spouse or romantic/love interest and just touch your nose to theirs. Anyone...?
Yeah... awkward.
Now hitting seems like it should be different, but it's still touch. In fact, it carry's some pretty negative connotations in That touch.... but you'll overcome it. We all do. Takes time and persistance. Also the moral of "do no harm" that we are all (ok...almost all) raised with........... it's pretty deeply ingrained.
Give it time. Train with people you trust and get to know them. Pretty soon you'll get over that "don't hit" impulse you feel and then you can really have fun with all the bumps and bruises and the next mornings "Hey...did I get hit There???" discoveries.
enjoy..
Your Brother
John
Touch is the very first form a communication that we have as humans. It's the first way that we know the positive (comfort from mommy/daddy....a full tummy) and negative (fell down, hungry, pain...etc.). Touch is extremely personal and probably one of the most intimate things we can do. Don't buy it?? OK... go up to someone you know that's not your spouse or romantic/love interest and just touch your nose to theirs. Anyone...?
Yeah... awkward.
Now hitting seems like it should be different, but it's still touch. In fact, it carry's some pretty negative connotations in That touch.... but you'll overcome it. We all do. Takes time and persistance. Also the moral of "do no harm" that we are all (ok...almost all) raised with........... it's pretty deeply ingrained.
Give it time. Train with people you trust and get to know them. Pretty soon you'll get over that "don't hit" impulse you feel and then you can really have fun with all the bumps and bruises and the next mornings "Hey...did I get hit There???" discoveries.
enjoy..
Your Brother
John
Yes, definitely awkward at first! Also, we don't pull the punches, kicks, and strikes, so it was difficult to keep from intentionally missing when they didn't move. In time that will pass though. As someone referred to, it is their training too. If you are not doing it correctly then they are not learning correctly.
Sapper6
3rd Black Belt
well amy, it's been about three weeks since you started this thread. how has progression gone?
Simon Curran
2nd Black Belt
LOLBrother John said:
So I'm not the only one...
OP
autumn1973
Guest
- Thread Starter
- #27
Thanks for asking...better, getting better.
Like someone was saying it is hard to touch someone you are not really close to, but as I have been getting to know my instuctor I am finding it easier to actually do some maneuvers (sp?) now.
When I first had to do arm extensions on the guy instructing me I was like OMG I have touch him? It was a bit unnerving to me as I am not a touchy type person to begin with. I won't even let my own relatives hug me (with the exception of my daughter), and I am serious about that. I value personal space very highly. I must sound like a total weirdo, I know.
They have had me doing forms recently and while I have got the sequence down for arm movements I cannot seem to stop tripping over my own feet...always something, lol. Like I said before I really appreciate you alls input in this thread, very helpful!
It's called being "soft touch sentitive" and you're not alone. Many people are. Makes contact a bit difficult, but like anything else, the more you do it, the more you'll get used to it. I had a real problem with it early on myself. Don't sweat it. You'll be fine.autumn1973 said:
Jelik
Orange Belt
When I first started (when I was 15) it took me about a month to get used to "hitting" people. Of course, as I was 15, I over-compensated of course! Levelled out after people hit me back 
Well, hitting people is usually not really a nice thing to do, so it makes sense that you'd feel weird about it.
And if you have never done it before, even more so. Usually this applies to females, as unlike males they often didn't grow up play fighting and generally beating each other up for fun.
But, in a martial arts class not hitting people is the not nice thing, as if you don't train to hit them, they can't train to avoid getting hit, or take a hit and continue.
Of course hitting them harder then they want you to is still not nice and shouldn't be done. But if you are training, and someone (who is sane) wants you to hit them, then you should. The more senior people have been doing this for years, and no what is safe and what is not. Trust them, and realise that hitting people is important, providing that is the level they want to take there training too.
It is also important for you, in your training. If you have a hard time hitting someone with protective gear in place and knowing (at least consciously) that you won't really hurt them, It may be hard to really hit someone, and try to hurt them if the need ever arrises.
Play fighting is natural though, every species of mammals does it in some way. Without it we would never have survived.
And if you have never done it before, even more so. Usually this applies to females, as unlike males they often didn't grow up play fighting and generally beating each other up for fun.
But, in a martial arts class not hitting people is the not nice thing, as if you don't train to hit them, they can't train to avoid getting hit, or take a hit and continue.
Of course hitting them harder then they want you to is still not nice and shouldn't be done. But if you are training, and someone (who is sane) wants you to hit them, then you should. The more senior people have been doing this for years, and no what is safe and what is not. Trust them, and realise that hitting people is important, providing that is the level they want to take there training too.
It is also important for you, in your training. If you have a hard time hitting someone with protective gear in place and knowing (at least consciously) that you won't really hurt them, It may be hard to really hit someone, and try to hurt them if the need ever arrises.
Play fighting is natural though, every species of mammals does it in some way. Without it we would never have survived.
Yes, this is an important point!Andrew Green said:
But if it takes a new students a few weeks or months to get used to it--no big deal, on the scale of years or decades of future practice.
Agrosch
White Belt
I had this VERY same problem as well.
then one day I landed a 360 roundhouse (kind of) on a kid(note I am a yellowbelt... I wans't even tuaght the move yet.)
From that day forth I've felt differently.
There are several thigns you can do to speed up to process, but it'll take time reguardless.
Just remember.
They wouldn't be there if they didn't want to do this. Would you appologize to some mad man trying to beat you? I think not. They expect to get hit, hitting them is acctually helping them.
Took me 4 months of taking those kicks and punches to realize this.
I'm tougher for it; however, my sparring skills are lacking becuase of it.
Hope this helps and good luck!
then one day I landed a 360 roundhouse (kind of) on a kid(note I am a yellowbelt... I wans't even tuaght the move yet.)
From that day forth I've felt differently.
There are several thigns you can do to speed up to process, but it'll take time reguardless.
Just remember.
They wouldn't be there if they didn't want to do this. Would you appologize to some mad man trying to beat you? I think not. They expect to get hit, hitting them is acctually helping them.
Took me 4 months of taking those kicks and punches to realize this.
I'm tougher for it; however, my sparring skills are lacking becuase of it.
Hope this helps and good luck!
ChineseKempoJerry
Yellow Belt
- Joined
- May 2, 2005
- Messages
- 47
- Reaction score
- 3
Everyday I feel wierd about hitting someone. Every year I feel worse! The only thing that keeps me going is knowing that maybe it is helping them in some way, whether it is the discipline they receive or it is the confidence growing in them as they discover things about themselves that they never knew.
Trust me, they like hitting me back more!
Good luck in your journey and keep hitting them back
Best Regards,
Sifu Jerry
Trust me, they like hitting me back more!
Good luck in your journey and keep hitting them back
Best Regards,
Sifu Jerry
I have been doing this for over forty year and even today I feel wierd hitting anybody, the only time I don't is when I'm sparring someone that I know can handle the stituation. Beginners are always going to feel this way.
terry
terry
OP
autumn1973
Guest
- Thread Starter
- #35
I still somewhat have a hard time of it but it has been getting better.
Tonight I had to spar with the younger of my 2 instructors and I tried to give it to him good but I held back a bit because he has bad knees and I did not want to go re-injuring him. One time I had a good shot at his nose but I just wound up bashing him on the edge of his headgear to let him know I could have gone there if I had wanted to. He told me I should have nailed him in the nose but I don't see the reasoning of that as long as I knew I could have hit him and so did he. Obviously, IRL if someone was attacking I would go there if necessary.
Tonight I had to spar with the younger of my 2 instructors and I tried to give it to him good but I held back a bit because he has bad knees and I did not want to go re-injuring him. One time I had a good shot at his nose but I just wound up bashing him on the edge of his headgear to let him know I could have gone there if I had wanted to. He told me I should have nailed him in the nose but I don't see the reasoning of that as long as I knew I could have hit him and so did he. Obviously, IRL if someone was attacking I would go there if necessary.
Sarah
Senior Master
autumn1973 said:
I think you make an excellent point, when sparing in class there is no real need to bash the snot out of people, after all you are just training and pointing out your partners weaknesses, a tap is all that is needed to let them know they had a hole there and to watch that next time.
In my opinion during sparing, you are there to make your partner a better sparer and visa versa, you are not there just to try and beat them up and show off!
Good luck with your training
Shaolinwind
2nd Black Belt
autumn1973 said:
If I feel I might have been a little too rough, a simple "you ok?" typically does the trick.. Most of the guys in my class enjoy some bruising anyhow.
But if you want to apologize every time you make contact, that's your option. I see nothing wrong with it.
Welcome to mt, by the way!
Clint Strickland
Orange Belt
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2005
- Messages
- 65
- Reaction score
- 1
autumn1973 said:
First of all......... WELCOME TO MARTIAL TALK lol. I still say sorry from time to time as well, but no youre not the only one. Good luck with trying to stop I know I am lol.
DeLamar.J
3rd Black Belt
You will get over it. I find this kind of, for lack of better words "cute". I hate saying that word, it makes me feel like a wimp LOL! People are like this all the time at first. The wierd thing about this is, they are always the ones who end up beating up on everyone in the end. I like the shy students, they normally develop the best for some reason.autumn1973 said:
splazzatch
Orange Belt
To jump in and comment on this I think that the reason the shy students develop the best may be the fact that they are the humblest students because they feel inadequate and once it "clicks" for them they know they can do it.
Maybe not, but that's how it was for me.
Maybe not, but that's how it was for me.
