Happy Christmas

Discussion in 'The Locker Room Bar & Grill' started by K-man, Dec 24, 2014.

  1. K-man

    K-man Grandmaster

    • MartialTalk Mentor
    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2008
    Messages:
    6,193
    Likes Received:
    1,221
    Trophy Points:
    248
    Location:
    Australia
    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
    Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;

    Well guys, it's Christmas Eve here and it's all quiet, not a creature is stirring, not even a mouse ... well the three German Shepherds are a bit restless with a noisy possum outside ... but I digress.

    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
    In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
    The children were nestled all snug in their beds;
    While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads;


    We didn't bother with the stockings this year as the kids are all grown up and flown the coop.

    And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
    Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap,

    They can't even get the bloody seasons right. Everyone knows it's summer!

    When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
    I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
    Away to the window I flew like a flash,
    Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
    The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
    Gave a lustre of midday to objects below,

    Hah! We haven't had snow here in years, but hail, sure, just the weather's quit mild so I would call that hallucination! And the noise? ... I don't know, probably the neighbours emptying their bottles into the bin.

    When what to my wondering eyes did appear,
    But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny rein-deer,
    With a little old driver so lively and quick,
    I knew in a moment he must be St. Nick.

    Next year, I swear, I'm off the grog for good.

    More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
    And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
    "Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
    On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donner and Blitzen!
    To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
    Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"
    As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
    When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
    So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
    With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too—
    And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
    The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

    I haven't got round to naming the possums but I reckon they have army surplus boots on their paws causing the noise on the tin roof.

    As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
    Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
    He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
    And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
    A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
    And he looked like a pedler just opening his pack.

    I'm damned if I could ever work out how he squeezes through that little hole but what a cock up. We really don't need the toys and now he'll have to wash his suit.

    His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples, how merry!
    His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
    His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
    And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
    The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
    And the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath;
    He had a broad face and a little round belly
    That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
    He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
    And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
    A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
    Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

    I've had to tell him to get off the smokes. So few people smoke these days that he'll upset people if he keeps faggin' in their homes. Nothing worse than stale tobacco smoke. As for the 'chubby and plump', I've offered him three months free training to get him back into shape.

    He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
    And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
    And laying his finger aside of his nose,
    And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
    He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
    And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
    But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight—

    “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

    Well at least he got that part right!

    “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
     
    • Like Like x 7
  2. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

    • Supporting Member
    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2006
    Messages:
    29,914
    Likes Received:
    4,454
    Trophy Points:
    308
    Location:
    North American Tectonic Plate
    Happy Christmas and Merry New Year to all

    [​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 3
  3. Brian R. VanCise

    Brian R. VanCise MT Moderator Staff Member

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2004
    Messages:
    27,751
    Likes Received:
    1,511
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Location:
    Las Vegas, Nevada
    Merry Christmas to all!!!

    Christmas Tree.jpg
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. donald1

    donald1 Senior Master

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2013
    Messages:
    3,341
    Likes Received:
    619
    Trophy Points:
    213
    happy holidays everybody :):beaver:[​IMG]
     
    • Like Like x 3
  5. ballen0351

    ballen0351 Sr. Grandmaster

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2010
    Messages:
    10,331
    Likes Received:
    953
    Trophy Points:
    263
    Merry Christmas everyone.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  6. arnisador

    arnisador Sr. Grandmaster

    • Martial Talk Alumni
    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2001
    Messages:
    44,560
    Likes Received:
    435
    Trophy Points:
    193
    Location:
    Terre Haute, IN
    Merry Christmas!
     
    • Like Like x 1
  7. Buka

    Buka Grandmaster

    • MartialTalk Mentor
    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2011
    Messages:
    9,752
    Likes Received:
    6,206
    Trophy Points:
    448
    Location:
    Maui
    Merry Christmas!123
     
    • Like Like x 1

Share This Page

Search tags for this page

martial artist night before christmas

,

twas the night before christmas parodies martial artist