Grappling with someone who is gay

M

MartialArtist

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I wrestled a gay person in high school. The guy didn't do anything wierd, they are human just like us.

I wrestled a partly blind person, and I got killed.

I wrestled a girl and almost got killed, mainly because I let her. :D
 
A

Angus

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I believe someone already said my thoughts: Just because they are gay does NOT mean that they are attracted to you. They probably just want to train.
 

Ground Dragon

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Yep, it's pretty presumptuous to assume because someone is gay they are going to be attracted to you.
Really, I think there are much worse things to be worried about. I mean there are a lot of nasty folks rolling around sometimes.
I'm more worried about some people's hygiene or lack thereof. There used to be this guy I had to roll with, who stunk like crazy and had these crazy long fingernails. He was nasty. I don't know of anyone that is really so bad off they can't take a shower, esp when they can afford to come to a bjj school. I got bad scratches a couple of times from his nails too. I never did say anything although I should have. I would just get pissed and put him in a nasty position. I hate to say it, but thankfully he quit coming.
 

pesilat

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For me, it would boil down to what I thought their intention was. And this goes for women as well as men. If I get the impression that someone wants to train with me (grappling or otherwise) simply because they find me attractive and want to cop free feels, then I wouldn't do it.

But if I got the impression that their intentions were to learn then I would have no problem with it ... even if they did find me attractive.

I would give them points for fessing up about being attracted to me, but I would make sure they knew that I was there to train (especially since I'm a very happily married man). If that's what they're there for, too, then great. Let's train.

I think most gay guys would tell their training partner just to get it out in the open and see how it flew. I'd much rather hear it from the person than from the grapevine. And if a guy told me he was gay ... or anyone told me they were attracted to me ... I would just assume they were getting it out in the open before I heard it through the grapevine.

And I wouldn't be surprised if they were testing the waters ... but as long as they're there to train, then I have no problem with it.

Now, if during training, I think they're taking the advantage to cop feels, then I'm going to have a talk with them about "crossing lines and going outside the boundaries of training." This would apply to male or females. But I wouldn't be paranoid about it and freak out over incidental contacts.

Mike
 
J

Jill666

Guest
Well, I have to say that when I read the first post on this thread I had exactly the same reaction as Kirk, and read his post thinking- "Yeah!". But the thread continues and a lot of interesting points have come up.

Being female, I couldn't care less about the sexual orientation of the guys in my dojo. :D But if a black belt lesbian joined, I wouldn't care about that, either, grappling, suiting up, whatever. :shrug: I doubt I'm the most stunning woman around and that she couldn't keep her hands off me.

There was only one man I refused to work with, Psycho Tony. He trained in privates, then moved into our class, then due to his behaviors, was moved mainly back to privates. Eventually he stopped coming in. He had a criminal history which prohibited him owning guns, but he obsessed about guns all the time. He also talked crap about women all the time- how they lied and played games and couldn't be trusted. Nobody wanted to work with him, but whenever he moved towards me to partner up, one of my classmates always seemed to get in the middle- bless them. Only once did I have to confront him by myself, when we were alone by the changing rooms, and he started talking about someone who had pissed him off, so he killed him. I told him to "knock that $h!t off, I don't want to hear it" and walked away.

In my Taijutsu class, there are two openly gay men (no, not lovers). Nobody in the class seems to care, and there is a good deal more grappling there than in Kenpo. We're all too busy trying not to die. :ninja:

I think as long as everyone is busy learning, it doesn't matter a bit. If someone is coming on to you, that's a whole different matter, and I cetainly would avoid grappling them. Self-defense I wouldn't see the need to avoid, unless it became a problem.

Ground Dragon had an excellent point about nasty people- In a city I'm sure there are a small percent of mentally ill/paranoid people who start to train, and have hygeine issues to deal with. I've seen two in my dojo- one left in a couple of weeks. The other actually cleaned up, clipped the nails, and made it through a couple of belt testings. He had a serious panic disorder, and we were all pretty impressed with his cajones to pull that off!

My instructor has had quite a bit of weirdness to deal with, and he's always managed to do it in his office, so nobody gets embarrassed. (I won't mention his own relationship with a black belt female that blew up in a spectacular fight :eek:)

Blood is a whole other problem- no matter what the quantity, it gets cleaned up and bandaged without delay but also without any fuss. I'm far more likely to be exposed to TB on the subway than Hep C in the dojo. But if someone is bleeding in the dojo it's easy enough to deal with.

It was actually more of a sticky situation when my training partner ended up with my nailmarks on his throat- :( He didn't appreciate that very much. The other guys thought it was pretty funny. His wife did not. Now I keep my nails clipped as short as possible.
 
M

Master of Blades

Guest
Firstly, Just cuz there gay doesnt mean they automatically have the hits for you.....So theres always that.

Secondly, I think its wrong to deny that guy his training just because hes gay, Its pretty unlikley hes gonna do anything anyways.

Sure I would feel awkward....I'm 16. But I'd get over it, plus if he did do anything its a good reason to beat his *** to the ground :D

That was probably the worst wording ever....... :shrug:
 
2

2looselatrek

Guest
It's great to see so many of you say that it would really
be a non issue to grapple someone gay. An opponent is
an opponent, you are there to throw down, not to go down.
My only question is: would you still grapple the same dude
if you were both naked?
Not that I've ever grappled another man.... naked, I mean....
never mind.
 
M

Master of Blades

Guest
Originally posted by 2looselatrek
It's great to see so many of you say that it would really
be a non issue to grapple someone gay. An opponent is
an opponent, you are there to throw down, not to go down.
My only question is: would you still grapple the same dude
if you were both naked?
Not that I've ever grappled another man.... naked, I mean....
never mind.

Grapple him if you were naked? Probably not, but only person I would grapple naked is possibly my girlfriend :lol:
 
J

Jill666

Guest
Originally posted by 2looselatrek

Not that I've ever grappled another man.... naked, I mean....
never mind.

Ooh-ooh- (waves hand) I have!
 
2

2looselatrek

Guest
Hey Jill666,
Good for you! But since I've never grappled
another man naked, let me guess.... Smells
like poodle, tastes like chicken?
 

Bod

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I regularly have to grapple a smelly sweaty chap, and once a drop of his sweat fell onto my eardrum, making a huge 'plop' sound.

Wrestling girls is difficult. There are places you just shouldn't stick your hands. Not easy. The two girls who regularly come to my dojo usually have me locked up in no time, so the hands issue is less of a problem.

I once untied a guy's trouser string, so that they fell down when he traversed into his next move. I was told that it was not 'in the spirit of judo'. However, I got away with grating someones forehead with my stubble to get out of an armlock. He, he!

My judo teacher tells a story of when he was a team manager, back in the sixties I think. He'd banned girls from the mens rooms, but was having trouble enforcing this rule. It got worse when he sprung a surprise visit on one chap, only to find him naked and beating another man, similarly dressed, with a riding crop.
 
B

bob919

Guest
i thought this would be a gay bashing thread luckily its not

i dont think i would care i would be more concerned if i was attracted to my partner cause a stiffy during grappling is pretty noticable
 

Zepp

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Originally posted by bob919
i dont think i would care i would be more concerned if i was attracted to my partner cause a stiffy during grappling is pretty noticable

Adrenaline should prevent that. At least, it seemed to prevent me from getting too excited when I had to grapple with a girl. (Good thing too. Her boyfriend was also in the class.)
 
E

Elfan

Guest
Originally posted by bob919
i thought this would be a gay bashing thread luckily its not

i dont think i would care i would be more concerned if i was attracted to my partner cause a stiffy during grappling is pretty noticable

Always wear a cup ;-)
 
K

krys

Guest
Sorry but I couldn't resist,

"Wrestling girls is difficult. "

But so nice.......

"There are places you just shouldn't stick your hands.

Well....

"The two girls who regularly come to my dojo usually have me locked up in no time,"

Two? Locked up in no time? Lucky guy....

"so the hands issue is less of a problem."

Yeah, hopefully.....


triangle? mount? is this really bjj?
 

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