Girlfriend taking judo

Discussion in 'Women of the Martial Arts (Women Martial Artists)' started by sonic78, Jan 4, 2010.

  1. sonic78

    sonic78 White Belt

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    Hello,

    I'm new here. It wouldnt let me post until i registered but I guess thats how most forums work. :bangahead:

    Anyways... I'll get to the point. I've been with the same girlfriend since 2004. When we met i was 5'10 and 190# and she was 5'8 and same weight (curvy not fat). Well as the years went by she went from curvy to heavy and was pushing 240# from relationship comfort and eating out i guess.

    In the last year shes lost over 25 lbs taking a judo class and is really loving it. Recently she achieved her yellow (i think) belt and is asking me to peel myself away from the videogames and join her in the class. She has joked that since shes a thicker girl and yellow belt I might find myself matched up against her at some point. I know shes just joking in good fun, but does a yellow belt really know that much about judo? Could my girlfriend kick my butt in sparring if I signup for this class??
     
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  2. Ken Morgan

    Ken Morgan Senior Master

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    She might not be able to kick your butt just yet, but she'll make sure you know you were in one hell of a scrap. In a few more months, she'll be tossing you around at will.

    Dude, ditch the games. I've yet to meet a women who wanted to date a guy they can beat the snot out of....
     
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  3. Jenny_in_Chico

    Jenny_in_Chico Black Belt

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    I made the life decision that I will never be with any man who is not a warrior.
     
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  4. Andy Moynihan

    Andy Moynihan Senior Master

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    Go. Join. Immediately, if not sooner. It can only benefit you.
     
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  5. kaizasosei

    kaizasosei Master Black Belt

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    hmmm, i`m sortof thinking the same these days. -i never want to be with any woman who is not tough or not able to fight for 'good'.

    I find toughness,bravery are really loveable traits and i think they are a sign of an execptional level of tollerance- hell, i think it almost translates to love period. Even craziness in the name of goodness is something special i find.



    -But to answer the question, by the sound of it, i would not at all be surprised if your girlfriend could give you a pretty hard time in sparring.
     
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  6. shesulsa

    shesulsa Columbia Martial Arts Academy

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    Randori with your girlfriend can bring about a catalystic effect for you two - you will either find you can't do this thing together or you may find you get closer.

    Regardless of the relationship, I would recommend judo to just about anyone.

    Do it for YOU.
     
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  7. Omar B

    Omar B Senior Master

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    Hey, how ya doin? :ultracool

    LOL
     
  8. sonic78

    sonic78 White Belt

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    hey thanks for all the replies.

    See my thing is I don't really want to do Judo, so it would honestly be just for her. I prefer to have a free schedule instead of a must do monday & wed thing. I rather go to the gym and maybe jog a little or do a few weights, but on my own time and not a set schedule.

    As to her kicking my butt- We usually just play fight hehe-But I think the last time it got competitive she outweighed me by a bit but I still managed to pin her even thought it was a struggle (shes a tough country girl). But her teasing made me think that shes just as heavy as the last time we probably wrestled but in better condition and shes got her yellow belt. So I don't know if that makes a difference but it would suck for her to pin me or something. Losing to her at bowling is bad enough. :lol:

    I suppose if she ever tops my manlyhood I might have to check myself into the judo class. That remains to be seen haha, but I'm glad she enjoys it so much. Shes got way more bounce to her step than a year ago.
     
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  9. Sukerkin

    Sukerkin Have the courage to speak softly

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    In all seriousness, if you are truly not interested in the martial arts in general or Judo in particular then it is really for the best not to take it up just to please someone else.

    The degree of persistance and commitment required in the martial arts is very high and you will only stick at it if you love it (just like Gran Tursimo, WOW or LOTRO :D).

    Of course, it cannot hurt to try and see how it takes you. Younever know ...
     
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  10. sonic78

    sonic78 White Belt

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    In my case its Modern Warfare 2 haha.

    I suppose I'll make a few more excuses but by feb i'll probably be signed up just to be supportive and if I like it then I like it. Maybe I will learn a few moves and show her whos master :mst: ! Lol, kidding. We are a bit competitive but not that bad.
     
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  11. kaizasosei

    kaizasosei Master Black Belt

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    Best to just have fun or be fair in good sport. Nobody is strong. Nature is strong, if one goes with nature one is strong, if one goes against it one is doomed.
     
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  12. teekin

    teekin 3rd Black Belt

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    Wow, What a wonderful way you have of expessing that sentiment. Kudos.
    lori
     
  13. Bruno@MT

    Bruno@MT Senior Master

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    +1 what he said.

    She may not be able to kick your ***... yet, but that will change rapidly. And if you have never done MA and are not particularly strong, she may already be able to :)

    Doing this together will be good for you in several ways: the workout will be good for your body, and the fact that you both do it can be good for your relationship. Of course, if you'd rather do some other MA that is good too :)

    And of course if you don't, then in a year or so everyone including you and your gf will know that she can kick your *** :p
     
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  14. Aikikitty

    Aikikitty Master Black Belt

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    Whether you end up joining judo or not, or if you can beat her while play wrestling or not, remember to encourage her and be a good sport. It seems like your quite supportive of her judo and that's wonderful! But if she eventually can "kick your butt", use the opportunity to score points with her by proudly showing her off, if other friends happen to tease you.

    If you take judo and end up liking it for yourself, it can either be a great thing for the relationship to do it together, or make it stressful when matched together.

    I agree with those who want to only be with a guy/girl who is a warrior (or just trains in MA). I probably would not have married my husband if he wasn't supportive and encouraging my training and general love for martial arts.

    Robyn
     
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  15. shesulsa

    shesulsa Columbia Martial Arts Academy

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    As to being with someone who is a warrior - take note that you can be a warrior and not be a martial artist. There are many ways to be a man and there are many ways to be a woman and so very many ways to be a couple.

    Yeah, dude, if you have no interest in martial arts ... well, then don't join. Keep to your gaming.

    I'm hoping, however, that you were joking when you made several references to your gender superiority such as this one:
    Frankly, if you want her to have success for self-defense and personal growth in that class, she *should* be able to kick your *** quite soon.

    The question here is - does this threaten you in some way? If you're really not that interested in martial arts, why did you bother joining the forum? Does her training bother or intimdate you a little more, perhaps, than you're willing to admit?

    I'll just say this - you don't need to reply - but if you are in a situation where you feel she is regularly physically intimidating you and you are worried for your safety then you need to get out of your relationship now.

    I would check out some threads on domestic abuse just so you can see the warning signs and precursors to abuse. I didn't know what they were until after I was out and at a police station.

    If you just had nothing better to do than to see if she will someday be able to kick your *** and should you join just to keep her from doing so ... you may need to work on your relationship and your expectations a little more.

    Hey, have HER join up here - she may find this a kewl place to hang and learn about other arts as well.

    Whatever you do ... good luck.
     
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  16. Nolerama

    Nolerama Master Black Belt

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    I have a few friends and training partners that are great fighters AND nerd it up, playing video games.

    I suggest expanding your mind. Also, don't make it a competition with your gf. If at any point you start training Judo just because your gf "kicked your butt" in play-mode, then it's not a good reason at all.

    It's an insecurity issue. And no one want a training partner with open insecurity issues like that.

    So think about it. Try it out to see if this is something the two of you can share together, and have fun. Your video games will always be there.

    I played WoW for a long time before picking up the FMAs. After a while I didn't play video games anymore. I was healthier and more active and didn't feel the need to spend hours at home playing online with the 14 y/os. So I stopped. And my life is better because I'm able to make it to class (any class; take cooking or something!) or pursue more social activities and experience new people and culture because I'm not tied to a gaming addiction (believe me, it IS a gaming addiction).

    And all it takes is some physical activity, good people/training partners, and an endorphin rush.
     
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  17. Sukerkin

    Sukerkin Have the courage to speak softly

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    An interesting side-step in the topic there, Nolerama; one worthy of it's own thread perhaps?

    I comment because I am starting to see the same signs in me of 'Gaming Addiction'. I was fine, having gamed for decades, until I signed up to LOTRO - now I spend almost every non-working hour on there. Not a good sign I reckon :(.
     
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  18. Nolerama

    Nolerama Master Black Belt

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    yeah, i think it should be a new thread.

    LOTRO!?!? Suke? Come on! I figured you a Farmville addict. :p
     
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  19. K831

    K831 Black Belt

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    My wife made the same decision....

    Wait, that comment is a little self aggrandizing isn't it? ;)

    To the OP;

    1.) You will not be successful in the long run if you are doing it for her only, so if you sign up, explain to her that you are trying it out to evaluate, and then do just that.

    2.) If you do enjoy it, it will probably be beneficial to your relationship. When I got married I bought my wife a motorcycle and facilitated her learning to ride. I told her no big deal if you don't like it, but I gave her every opportunity to succeed at her own pace. The result? She doesn't resent weekends at the track or the dunes, because she is excited to go too. Our relationship was strengthened because she appreciates a husband who believes she can do what men can, and supports her in sharing those things with me, and I appreciate being married to a woman cool enough and tough enough to learn to ride motocross. (She does Kenpo too, but doesn't love it like I do, just recognizes that as a woman in today's world, she needs to be able to defend herself.)

    3.) She may not care if it's Judo you are doing, but rather, would just like to see you get your a$$ of the couch like she has. If she is feeling better about herself and her health is improving, she is making positive changes in her life, she isn't gonna want to be with someone who isn't.
     
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  20. Ken Morgan

    Ken Morgan Senior Master

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    And there is nothing sexier in a woman, than confidence.
     
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