funny how you get a nickname

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andurilking2

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:soapbox: it was just the one time right?:D
 

old_sempai

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So the Scotsman goes to the miller and asks

"How much for ye bag of oats"

The miller says "Thru-pence"

The Scotsman replys "Ack - and wha hey makees ye think its worth Thru-pence?"

The miller says: "It dinna have no weeds nay or seeds - just good oats"

The Scotsman's says "I'll no pay anymore than tuppence for a bag from your store"

The Miller says: Aye - tuppence it tis - just give me a wee bit a time to run this bag o' oats through the horse and its yours"
 

deadhand31

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MacGregor, being a scotsman, had a terrible problem with drinking. What didn't help is that he lived across the street from the local pub. One day, he promises his wife he'll stop drinking. The first night, he has problems doing this, and sneaks across the street to the pub. He orders round after round of scotch, and gets himself totally pickled beyond belief. He later realizes that it's getting late, and has to head home before his wife catches him. Feeling that half a bottle of scotch he drank, he tries to get up. BOOM! He falls to the ground, and crawls over to the door. He grabs hold of the door, tries pulling himself up, and BOOM! He falls to the ground as the door swings open under his weight. Seeing his house across the street, he crawls across the street, hoping that his wife isn't up yet. He tries to pull himself up yet again, opens the door, and WHAM!, kisses the ground once again. He waits to see if it woke up his wife, and when figures that the coast is clear, he slowly makes his way to bed. He gets in bed, dirty and bruised, without waking his wife, and passes out, satisfied with himself that he got away with it.

In the morning, he wakes up to his wife beating him with a frying pan.

"YA BASTAHD!!!" she screams, "YA WENT OUT DRINKIN AGAIN!!!"

"B-but I didn't!!!", he lies, " Why d' ya say that??"

"THE BARTENDER CALLED!!! YOU LEFT YOUR WHEELCHAIR THERE AGAIN!!!!"
 

old_sempai

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Kin also means "can" as in "Ay no kin see wha you mean".... Spent more than a little time in the Highlands - and the family roots go back to the Clans, just before the Rising of the 45....... but the only good thing that came from the Bonny Prince was Drambuie............ and dinna ye know I'm in the mind to have a wee dram or two this weekend...........
 
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