2 things that can keep a person from learning the skills and knowledge required to be safe "I will never happen to me" and "If it happens to me, then I can handle it." These also happen to be 2 of the most common responses I get when trying to get people that I know to take a Martial Arts with a self defense focus or when talking about the possibility of being a victim of an act that from first looks seems unlikely to ever happen. I think if someone wanted to put together a good Domestic Violence program then they would need to get the input of the person who is the victim and the friends who saw the signs of domestic violence tendencies that the victim ignored. Reflecting back on the video of the woman who said she didn't realize she was a victim until she was out of the situation, I bet she had a bunch of friends who saw the signs in the early stages. Friends usually spot the signs of control early on, because their life and interaction with the victim changes drastically. This is what many outsiders see when it comes to domestic violence. The ones in red are the one's that I've seen personally and they are usually low key things that really don't raise an alarm as much as make the friend question "Why is she or he letting that guy control her like that." Are you concerned that someone you care about is experiencing abuse? Maybe you’ve noticed some warning signs, including: Their partner puts them down in front of other people They are constantly worried about making their partner angry They make excuses for their partner’s behavior Their partner is extremely jealous or possessive They have unexplained marks or injuries They’ve stopped spending time with friends and family They are depressed or anxious, or you notice changes in their personality Source: The National Domestic Violence Hotline | Help for Friends and Family Here are some more warning signs Below is a list of possible signs of abuse. Some of these are illegal. All of them are wrong. You may be abused if your partner: Monitors what you're doing all the time Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school Gets very angry during and after drinking alcohol or using drugs Controls how you spend your money Controls your use of needed medicines Decides things for you that you should be allowed to decide (like what to wear or eat) Humiliates you in front of others Destroys your property or things that you care about Threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets Hurts you (by hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting) Uses (or threatens to use) a weapon against you Forces you to have sex against your will Controls your birth control or insists that you get pregnant Blames you for his or her violent outbursts Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you Says things like, "If I can't have you then no one can." Source: Am I being abused? | womenshealth.gov To me domestic violence victims have the same problem that fighters have. You really don't have a good idea of the situation until you can see yourself from the outside. For fighters and athletes in general that would be in the form of a video. For domestic violence victims that outside view usually comes from friends and family who tell the victim that they have changed and they don't do things like they used to do.