Do guys get intimidated?

Discussion in 'Women of the Martial Arts (Women Martial Artists)' started by Carina Jørgensen, Apr 6, 2004.

  1. Tony Dismukes

    Tony Dismukes Grandmaster

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    Absolutely! In particular, bears intimidate me. They are, after all, godless killing machines and the number one threat to America.

    Oh ... women? No I like strong and powerful women. Any guy who feels intimidated by strong women needs to re-examine their perspective on life.
     
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  2. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    I was actually face to face with a bear once, and use that in my training to help explain the concept of being "emotionally hijacked." Everything you aren't supposed to do when you're in front of a bear, I did. And everything you ARE supposed to do, I didn't. Even though I knew both what to do and what not to do.
     
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  3. Tony Dismukes

    Tony Dismukes Grandmaster

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    Meanwhile in Russia...
     
  4. pgsmith

    pgsmith Master of Arts

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    I did the same thing! I was hiking by myself through some rugged mountains in New Mexico. I came over a steep rise in the trail just as the black bear was coming over in the other direction. We met about five feet apart. I screamed and ran straight downhill, and he screamed and ran in the other direction. Got totally lost and it took me several hours to find my way back to the trail! :D
     
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  5. Jenna

    Jenna Senior Master

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    Tony, you can answer a question for me please about this??

    I am wondering if men also have job of balancing facets of who they are required to be and how they are required to act in society now?? I mean in not being deferential and but still respectful and but also in being masculine as men are, and confident, which women like.. well me I do :) arrogant I do not like.. there is fine line yes? I do not know.. I am not expert haha..

    Tell me it is difficult for men to get a balance concerning what is expected by society; by women? I mean some men I have seen in workplace maybe are emasculated by women, even by those who do not outrank them.. Some times I think the world try to force men NOT to be men.. emasculated you understand what I mean, right??

    I think I like the idea of men that are natural men.. I do not know if I convey that idea properly. You know, like he do not have to try to figure out how he is going to act around me or other women.. he just is.. there is no act.. he can accept his self for what he is and know that women in turn accept him for that too even if we like to fix his hair haha. Once he try to mess with what he naturally is and mould his self to fit in to what he perceive or read that women want of him then he become awkward and politically correct or emotive in a way which is unnatural to him? Haha maybe I am thinking of a particular person.. And but this make sense??

    I know how society want me as a woman and it is mostly contradiction.. And but can you tell me in your opinion does society try to emasculate men? or there are sufficient of masculine role models for men? When I see men in media I see foppishness and fussiness and the vision of kowtowing to women.. some times very overt like in some advertisements for womens things like diet stuff or certain motors.. the man he is made to look like almost servile in these depictions?? pffft..

    Anyway, thank you x
     
  6. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    I screamed and ran, ended up in my car listening (I kid you not) to the soundtrack for the Lion's King. I don't remember getting into the car or turning on the radio. I think I was just looking for something familiar and soothing. :D
     
  7. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    I would add a rider to Jenna's post, that the 'demands' of society for the male and female role depend on the country and culture.
     
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  8. Ademadis

    Ademadis Green Belt

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    I think with this I prefer the term 'people are people'.

    Gender roles will always be a thing, but if you consider someone's gender before you look at their merit as a person that's where the problem arises.

    With regards to 'do I get intimidated'? Yes, knives specifically scare the hell out of me.

    -
    Also, important little nugget of info Men and Women do react differently under stress.
    While studying (UK) Law we looked at Provocation, Self-Defence and types of Duress. Essentially it boils down to;
    -Men are far more likely to react instantly with violence.
    -Women endure and endure for a long period of time, before snapping (setting husbands on fire in bed was quite a common crime actually).
    Reacting with aggression covers up being intimidated a lot better than shying away from the confrontation, so I suppose it can look like Men are intimidated less than women.
    (^ SAUCE, first paragraph is all you really need to read)
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2016
  9. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    Well, yes and no, it's a bit generalised. Times have changed and women are far more violent now ( trust me I've seen enough of it), it's more 'acceptable' for females to be violent. men are more violent to other men, women will attack men and women more easily, perhaps because many think a man won't hit them back which is still quite likely. As for men reacting 'instantly' now most often they don't, there's the monkey dance first in most cases. You can usually watch the evolution of a fight, the instant violence usually comes with crime like street robbery etc.
    Most people who aren't used to dealing with violence are intimidated by being attacked, how you react and behave will most likely depend on what if any training you've had.
     
  10. Ademadis

    Ademadis Green Belt

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    Fair enough, tbf what I'm citing relates more to domestic violence than general violence so I can see there'll be a lot of differences.

    I do talk to people about this a lot in some kind of attempt to convince as many friends of both sexes to at least learn something self defence related.

    Also I'm guessing I can find plenty of slowed & explained fight scenes on Youtube? Might be a very good idea if I went and looked up some ;)
     
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  11. pgsmith

    pgsmith Master of Arts

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    This is true. However, I think a large part of the issue is that most of the things that Jenna is referring to are stylized depictions in the media. People see how people on TV and advertisements act, and feel that this is how people should act, when it is just what advertisers think people will react to. A great many (mostly younger) people tend to worry about whether they are acting appropriately and use these models and actors as role models. My personal opinion is that a person ( male or female) needs to be cognizant of their effect on those around them. They also need to work their self-confidence up enough to balance what they feel is correct behavior with how this affects those around them. As long as a person is considerate, then the rest will take care of itself in my opinion.
     
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  12. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    There are big differences though in the advertising in different countries, we have few American ads here unless they are from tourist boards advertising visits there. In Europe the ads are also different from American ads, many are the same as ours. Our television tends to be different as well though we do have many American comedies which are just that comedies. Most of our programmes are still home grown ( and do well in the US btw lol) I'm not sure what Downton Abbey, Sherlock ( the Cumberbatch one) etc teach people though.
     
  13. Tony Dismukes

    Tony Dismukes Grandmaster

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    Honestly, it doesn't concern me much. I care about being the best person I can be. The whole question of "what a man should be" or "what society expects a man to be" doesn't even really make sense to me. I am a man. Therefore, to my mind, whatever I am is by definition "manly."

    If I wanted to wear jeans and drink beer and wrestle bears and build tractors, that would be manly.
    If I wanted to wear bowties and sip espresso and write angsty love poetry, that would be manly.
    If I wanted to wear high heels and short skirts and drink iced tea while I practiced my knitting, that would be manly.

    If you wanted to do any of those things, then they would be womanly.

    Or we could say that those things would be just us - regardless of our gender.

    If you look at all the descriptors that could be applied to me - calm, analytic, music-loving, sometimes lazy, kind, confident in some areas, less confident in others, tolerant, friendly, somewhat introverted, verbose, patient, respectful, sometimes irresponsible, sometimes clueless, heterosexual, messy, book-loving, unimpressed by hierarchies, doing my best to be sensitive towards the feelings of others, etc, etc, etc - they're all either aspects of who I am by nature or attributes I have worked to develop in order to be a better person. None of them are dependent on my (or anyone else's) expectations of what my gender should be like.

    I'm sure that some aspects of my behavior and tastes have been shaped by cultural norms for men in my country. My taste in clothes for example. I don't view any of those aspects as particularly important or central to my identity.

    Getting back to the specifics of your question - I don't feel that society is trying to "emasculate" me. I'm not even sure what such a thing would mean. As far as role models - I can take inspiration from persons of any gender for being more the person that I would like to be.
     
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  14. gpseymour

    gpseymour Sr. Grandmaster

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    Yep, this is the problem with brief training without any stressful habit development. We may KNOW what we should do with a bear, but our limbic system doesn't really care. It's going to act out of instinct, unless strong enough habits take over.
     
  15. gpseymour

    gpseymour Sr. Grandmaster

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    I'm trying to imagine the bear screaming, standing on his hind legs, and running like Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.
     
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  16. gpseymour

    gpseymour Sr. Grandmaster

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    I think this gets easier for most men as we age. When we are young, most of us buy more into the stereotype of what a "real man" is, and measure ourselves against that. As we gain wisdom (and meet actual women, rather than the stereotypes), we learn that there are many different kinds of "real men", and most of us learn who we really are, then learn to be that kind of man.
     
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  17. gpseymour

    gpseymour Sr. Grandmaster

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    This encompasses about a third of is referred to as "Emotional Intelligence", which is one of the biggest predictors of success in any area.
     
  18. Tez3

    Tez3 Sr. Grandmaster

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    Luckily we don't have wild bears in this country. We may be getting wolves though, it's still being debated. Wild boar are becoming a bit of a problem in some places though.
     
  19. Jenna

    Jenna Senior Master

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    Thank you for your kind reply :) Please I hope I have not annoyed you by this question maybe I am too naive to be asking.. only your answers are concise and thorough honest and easy for me to understand is all :) I do not like hierarchies neither.. I think I am mostly at the bottom ha.. I like to ask you another question further and but I would not test your patience even it is written as one of your thing s :) And but thank you again x
     
  20. Tony Dismukes

    Tony Dismukes Grandmaster

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    I'm not annoyed at all, and feel free to ask anything you like.
     

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