coed dorm... rooms?

[mrhnau]

Found an interesting article on coed dorm rooms. Apparently a few universities are now doing it. I'm used to coed dorms. Never lived in one, but my school had them when I went. Just thought it was rather interesting

As a college student, would you want to live in one? Would you be comfortable? Would you want your child to live in one?

 

[MBuzzy]

I would have probably WANTED to live in one, but I doubt that I would have. First off, it doesn't sound like they are randomly assigned. I think you have to request your roomate, although it is possible that you could just say "I want to live with a girl" and match them all up. Although if that we the case, I can see having thousands of males wanting female roomates and a handful of females wanting male roomates.

I would probably only be comfortable with someone who I'd known for a very long time, and even then I'm not sure. I really don't think that I was mature enough in college to make the decision.

And no, my kids would not be living in a coed dorm room. I can see bad things happening out of this....

 

[Sukerkin]

I agree with Buzzy. That's a ticking time-bomb waiting to explode.

Teenagers away from parental influence do not behave responsibly on the whole - those of us who've been through the education mill know this to be true.

Mix no oversight, drink & drugs, teenage hormome levels and sharing a room with a member of the opposite sex ... predictions anyone?

 

[jks9199]

I agree with Buzzy. That's a ticking time-bomb waiting to explode.

Teenagers away from parental influence do not behave responsibly on the whole - those of us who've been through the education mill know this to be true.

Mix no oversight, drink & drugs, teenage hormome levels and sharing a room with a member of the opposite sex ... predictions anyone?

Or is it a recognition that it's happening anyway, and that there are practical advantages to having students actually in the dorm rooms where they're assigned, instead of informally occupying another room?

Not that I think it's a particularly good idea... I just see all the obvious headaches and chaos that could result. Of course, that's also what another generation said about coed dorm buildings...

 

[Tez3]

I have to disagree! The best way to stop teenagers having sex, drugs and rock&roll is to make them live in the same room! The girls really will not want to have much to do with the lads after living with them trust me. think what teenage boys are like, they leave dirty socks and underwear lyng around as well as porn mags, they won't get out of bed, they have wind which releases from both ends lol,they talk sport and beer,they are crude about women in all they they are disgusting! they will drive the girls mad! The opposite sex very soon stops beoming an exotic species! if you don't think this is true think marriage or living with your partner, how soon did the starry eyed romance wear off a bit when you saw them sneezing, nose dripping and eyes running full of cold? or even first thing in the morning properly!
Girls want to talk fashion and gossip, they want to tidy up ( not pick up underwear worn for 2 weeks) they want to be respected, they want matching bed linen, and lots of shoes. they are more mature than boys for the most part, they will see the boys as immature lol they will drive the boys mad!
Putting them all in the same rooms makes them more like siblings than potential partners. They will look outside for relationships though the boys they are living with may come on like big brothers which is only good!

 

[mrhnau]

Or is it a recognition that it's happening anyway, and that there are practical advantages to having students actually in the dorm rooms where they're assigned, instead of informally occupying another room?

There were a few guys on our floor like that. May as well have brought in another bed (or a bigger one, as the case may be!). I kind of see this as an endorsement though... I don't like that "you were doing it anyway, so why not make it legal" argument... one can say that about a lot of things in life.

 

[terryl965]

Whatever people want, I am too old to care and my kids will never live in Sin because I would hurt them:roflmao:

 

[Tez3]

Whatever people want, I am too old to care and my kids will never live in Sin because I would hurt them:roflmao:

My daughter lives with her boyfriend, has done for about four years now, they are very happy, who wants more than happiness and health for their kids? I don't.

 

[mrhnau]

My daughter lives with her boyfriend, has done for about four years now, they are very happy, who wants more than happiness and health for their kids? I don't.

I do

 

[mrhnau]

My daughter lives with her boyfriend, has done for about four years now, they are very happy, who wants more than happiness and health for their kids? I don't.

I've got to admit, this one gets me kind of upset... My child might be happy and healthy, but if he just happens to get his girlfriend pregnant when they are 14, gee whiz! You sacrifice the momentary "happiness and health" for something down the road that might not give you "happiness and health". I want to teach my child that life is not just about "being happy", but sometimes about doing the right thing, even when its not easy, comfortable or popular.

 

[jks9199]

I have to disagree! The best way to stop teenagers having sex, drugs and rock&roll is to make them live in the same room! The girls really will not want to have much to do with the lads after living with them trust me. think what teenage boys are like, they leave dirty socks and underwear lyng around as well as porn mags, they won't get out of bed, they have wind which releases from both ends lol,they talk sport and beer,they are crude about women in all they they are disgusting! they will drive the girls mad! The opposite sex very soon stops beoming an exotic species! if you don't think this is true think marriage or living with your partner, how soon did the starry eyed romance wear off a bit when you saw them sneezing, nose dripping and eyes running full of cold? or even first thing in the morning properly!
Girls want to talk fashion and gossip, they want to tidy up ( not pick up underwear worn for 2 weeks) they want to be respected, they want matching bed linen, and lots of shoes. they are more mature than boys for the most part, they will see the boys as immature lol they will drive the boys mad!
Putting them all in the same rooms makes them more like siblings than potential partners. They will look outside for relationships though the boys they are living with may come on like big brothers which is only good!

I think you're stereotyping quite a bit there...

For many years, I worked full time in a department store, which here in the US meant that, outside of a couple of departments, it was a heavily female-dominated environment. I learned that women can (and are) every bit as crude, dirty, and disgusting as guys... In fact, y'all are worse!

Doing search warrants and working as a cop, I've learned that women can be at least as dirty, and messy as guys. I won't detail the things I've found... I think it suffices to say that I consider searching a female's room to be a biohazard, and I take appropriate universal precautions.

And I've found and known guys who wouldn't think of leaving a dirty sock on the floor, or failing to put something away. (In fact, in many ways, I'm neater than my wife!)

I do think that you won't find many of the roommates being romantic couples unless they already were -- but mostly because of simple familiarity, not anything about "seeing what they're really like."

 

[jks9199]

My daughter lives with her boyfriend, has done for about four years now, they are very happy, who wants more than happiness and health for their kids? I don't.

It depends on the ages; your daughter is an adult. She's making her own, responsible choices, and accepting the consequences (or lack thereof). I'm pretty confident you'd have had a problem had she wanted to live with her partner at 13 or 14...

I personally never lived with my wife before we married, and I'm not a fan of it. Some of the reasons are religious; I'm Roman Catholic, and the Church's position on this is pretty clear. But there are more objective reasons, as well. The argument that it makes for a better marriage if & when they marry is false; divorce rates are the same or worse depending on who you ask. Here in the US, there are a lot of protections that come into play when you have that governmental endorsement of marriage that aren't there if you're simply living together. It's very easy for one partner to become entirely dependent on the other -- and have no recourse if they break up suddenly.

Like I said -- I can see some reasons for the school policies, but I don't really agree with it. I'd have some problems if my kid had wanted to live in a coed dorm room... but I think I'd have to let them. After all, there's very little I could do to really prevent it. Note that there is a difference between "away at college" and "under my roof."

 

[mrhnau]

Note that there is a difference between "away at college" and "under my roof."

Just out of curiosity, is there a difference between "away at college" and "dad is still paying the bills"?

 

[jks9199]

Just out of curiosity, is there a difference between "away at college" and "dad is still paying the bills"?

In principle -- I'd say no.

But in reality... how is dad going to control where the kid spends his or her nights when they're away at school?

Of course, at the moment, my opinions on this are purely academic, since I don't have a kid in college...

 

[Ping898]

I don't know...I guess I don't see a real issue with it...is it something I would have done....no, but mostly cause I don't work well with a roomie....I did what I had to to have a private room most years...is it something I'd let my kids do...don't know...don't have any....

I do think if this is done, there needs to be some explicit ground rules and maybe even a contract of sorts cause I can see it happening where a bad girl/guy combo comes up and the girl gets attacked and then sues the school for not doing enough to protect her, even though she volunteered for this....

I guess my POV has always been just cause 2 people that could have sex live together doesn't mean they do have sex...

 

[Tez3]

I think you're stereotyping quite a bit there...

For many years, I worked full time in a department store, which here in the US meant that, outside of a couple of departments, it was a heavily female-dominated environment. I learned that women can (and are) every bit as crude, dirty, and disgusting as guys... In fact, y'all are worse!

Doing search warrants and working as a cop, I've learned that women can be at least as dirty, and messy as guys. I won't detail the things I've found... I think it suffices to say that I consider searching a female's room to be a biohazard, and I take appropriate universal precautions.

And I've found and known guys who wouldn't think of leaving a dirty sock on the floor, or failing to put something away. (In fact, in many ways, I'm neater than my wife!)

I do think that you won't find many of the roommates being romantic couples unless they already were -- but mostly because of simple familiarity, not anything about "seeing what they're really like."

Yes it was stereotyping to a certain extent but true all the same even if it doesn't matter who are the messy ones! It's also stereotyping to say they will all jump on each other in a mass orgy of drugs and sex if they are left alone, which is something I wanted to get away from. Yes there are children who get pregnant at 14 but theres the majority who haven't.
My attitude is coloured by the fact that my brother became ill at 20 and took six horrendous years to die so as long as my kids are happy and healthy I'm happy for them. My son is 31 and my daughter 23. I brought them up to be independant and confident, hopefully knowing what's right and whats wrong. You do the best you can and then it's over to them. I'm happy and very proud of both of them.
I've been happily "lived with the same person but not married" for over 33 years now ( oh lord if I'd committed murder I'd have got less lol), it's not about paper it's about commitment.

 

[MA-Caver]

I agree with Buzzy. That's a ticking time-bomb waiting to explode.

Teenagers away from parental influence do not behave responsibly on the whole - those of us who've been through the education mill know this to be true.

Mix no oversight, drink & drugs, teenage hormome levels and sharing a room with a member of the opposite sex ... predictions anyone?

How about buying stock in Trojan Company because they're gonna make a killing with in restroom vending machines.
Wholly irresponsible thinking IMO. If I had a child male or female I would adamantly refuse for my child to attend said college PERIOD for allowing this type of student occupancy, co-habitation to occur. I lived in a Co-ed dorm while doing my (brief) stint in college but girls were regulated to one side of the building/floor and boys were on the other.
Yeah there were some sleeping around and all that but not as much as if there were cohabitation.
We're looking at potential rape increases as pointed out by over-indulgence to alcohol and raging hormones.
College is a place to learn and continue your education to (help) further your position in life. It is NOT a place to learn how to live with the member of the opposite sex... at least not ON-campus anyway.
If I had a female room-mate during my time at college I'd honestly don't think I'd be able to study in my room like I did. Also how uncomfortable would it have been to bring a female friend for an over-nighter? Awkward enough with a male roomie but he can find another place to crash, but with a female one? How am I supposed to convince g/f that there's "nothing going on between us?" How would I explain to her Daddy that I'm not watching her dress/undress before/after a shower or bedtime? If it were my daughter I'd be damned concerned about that!
Heck I wouldn't allow it even if the boy roomie was blind!

Stupid idea. Stupid idea. Stupid idea.

 

[arnisador]

It's an interesting way to make a statement about non-discrimination, and it's always happened in one way or another, but I have mixed feelings. I foresee many problems!

 

[Empty Hands]

I think it suffices to say that I consider searching a female's room to be a biohazard, and I take appropriate universal precautions.

Amen to that! When I worked as a pool lifeguard during college, the women's locker room was always 10 times as nasty as the guys. Used razors and sanitary products everywhere. Garbage scattered all around. Urine and feces all over the toilets. It was severe!

 

[Empty Hands]

Barring the Doogie Howsers of the world, everyone in college is a legal adult. They are able to enter into binding contracts, buy a house, get married, or join the military and die for their country. In times past, they would have been well into their 2nd or 3rd kid by that age with years of hard work supporting themselves and a family already behind them. We know they are capable of being and acting like adults. Yet we have extended adolescence into the college years now, with their behavior being monitored by their parents via the college as proxy. This is one of the most harmful things we can do to our children, and we are reaping the rewards now with childlike behavior in college an almost expected outcome and kids living with their parents into their late twenties or early thirties.

Start treating them like adults and expect them to grow up. That might mean letting them live with and/or shag whomever they feel like. You'll get over it. Trust me, they're doing it anyways.