9 Supposed Action Stars Who Clearly Couldn't Fight - Article - Can you think of anymore?

[Makalakumu]

I thought this article would spur some fun discussion.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/9-supposed-action-stars-who-clearly-couldnt-fight/

Not everyone has karate skills that translate to film. If they did, then everyone would be Jean-Claude Van Damme. And now that I've given Jean-Claude Van Damme the plot for his next movie, let's talk about some of his colleagues. These are the action stars who, regardless of any real-life martial arts experience or toughness, never seemed able to put together a convincing fight scene.

Here are the stars the article states.

9. David Carradine
8. David Heavener
7. Fred Williamson
6. Lynda Carter
5. Eric Roberts
4. Cuneyt Arkin
3. Pam Grier
2. Rudy Ray Moore
1. William Shatner

The fight scene clips linked in this article are fabulous. I'm still laughing. Can you think of any more to add to the list? Post clips if you can.

 

[Haakon]

Rutger Hauer, Christopher Lambert and Ralph Macchio come to mind.

I didn't think Eric Roberts was all that bad in "Best of the Best", Chris Penn was FAR FAR worse. Chris Penn and Phillip Rhee on the same team....oi.

 

[Big Don]

Van Damme got his *** kicked publicly at least once. I've heard stories about Segal...

 

[elder999]

Van Damme got his *** kicked publicly at least once. I've heard stories about Segal...

Used to know one guy who punched out Van Damme, Chuck Zito......Seagal got choked out by Gene LeBell, who was a little miffed at being tossed so hard after he asked him not too....but hey, it was Gene effing LeBell.-can't really hold that against Seagal, and it's sort of like "Welcome to Hollywood, MF'er," anyway...
:lfao:


(Edit: some stories say that Seagal challenged him to choke him out, claiming he was impervious-others that Gene was pissed. It was supposedly on the set of Under Siege, in 1990.......)

 

[Jenna]

Someone said Keanu Reeves needed CGI assistance in The Matrix fight scenes. I mean, no way, he totally knows Kung Fu *gong*.

 

[oaktree]

I love seanbaby and I read cracked every day.

 

[MA-Caver]

Nobody mentioned. Ahnold Schwarzenegger or Bruce Willis, Russell Crowe.

 

[Big Don]

Seagal got choked out by Gene LeBell, who was a little miffed at being tossed so hard after he asked him not too....but hey, it was Gene effing LeBell.-can't really hold that against Seagal, and it's sort of like "Welcome to Hollywood, MF'er," anyway...
:lfao:


(Edit: some stories say that Seagal challenged him to choke him out, claiming he was impervious-others that Gene was pissed. It was supposedly on the set of Under Siege, in 1990.......)

Yeah, the way I heard it, Seagal was being an ***...

 

[Tony Dismukes]

Fred Williamson really doesn't belong on that list. Even in a super low-budget movie with no money for a proper choreographer he still comes across as badass. (Not to mention that he's the one person on the list who you definitely would not want to fight in real life.)

After viewing some of those other clips, I'm not sure which is more painful to watch - the fight scenes or the acting.

 

[Sukerkin]

For the record, I don't care that Lynda Carter was not a real martial artist ... :angel:

 

[Big Don]

For the record, I don't care that Lynda Carter was not a real martial artist ... :angel:

Far be it from me to point out that an old guy posted this and two other old guys seconded it by thanking him. I would never mention something like that...

 

[Sukerkin]

:chuckles: OLD! Only I am allowed to call myself 'old' - 'middle aged' I'll accept or maybe "old enough to have watched Wonder Woman the first time round and young enough not to have realised how bad it was"

 

[Buka]

Fast forward to 7:55 when Don Knotts says, "Karate. My whole body's a weapon." They couldn't say that in a movie if it wasn't true.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHZpLHpXfwM

 

[Sukerkin]

By the by, I have the idea stuck in my head that Lynda Carter did a movie about professional wrestling a while back (a female tag team as I recall) - I can find no mention of it on the Tinternet so is this just my imagination (possibly a mixed up memory as a result of my long ago bike accident)?

 

[Big Don]

:chuckles: OLD! Only I am allowed to call myself 'old' - 'middle aged' I'll accept or maybe "old enough to have watched Wonder Woman the first time round and young enough not to have realised how bad it was"

That show started airing when I was three, yes, Mark, you are old.

 

[elder999]

That show started airing when I was three, yes, Mark, you are old.

Dude-at 62, Lynda Carter isn't even old-in fact, she's still eminently bangable:




We're not old, Don-it's just that-at 40-you're still wet behind the ears.....:lfao:

 

[Xue Sheng]

Fred Williamson really doesn't belong on that list. Even in a super low-budget movie with no money for a proper choreographer he still comes across as badass. (Not to mention that he's the one person on the list who you definitely would not want to fight in real life.)

After viewing some of those other clips, I'm not sure which is more painful to watch - the fight scenes or the acting.

You know, I have to agree, after my almost 40 years in MA training and even though he is 73 I am not about to challenge Fred Williamson to a fight.

 

[sfs982000]

Well I can't consider him an "action hero" but recently re-watched "The Departed" and the idea of Leonardo De-Crap-eo as a tough guy just makes me laugh.

 

[mmartist]

Well I can't consider him an "action hero" but recently re-watched "The Departed" and the idea of Leonardo De-Crap-eo as a tough guy just makes me laugh.

Very very true.. lol. I watched that movie too and it's comic..

 

[sfs982000]

Very very true.. lol. I watched that movie too and it's comic..

The really funny thing is that anytime I see Leonardo in any movie all I can see is Arnie from "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" .