213 things Skippy can't do

[Baytor]

http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html

As the list is 213 items, I decided to only post the link and the first 10 items on the list. It is a list of things that a US soldier (Skippy) serving in Bosnia was told he couldn't do.
[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.[/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]2. My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia". [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”. [/font]

[font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on government time. [/font]

 

[Bob Hubbard]

:rofl:

 

[Tgace]

Thats a frickin riot!!!! I especially liked...

29. The Irish MPs are not after “Me frosted lucky charms”.

AND

77. The MP checkpoint is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I should not tell them "You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for."

AND

136. Shouting “Let’s do the village! Let’s do the whole f*****g village!” while out on a mission is bad.

Heck I love em all!!!

 

[Cryozombie]

212. Must not go on nine deployments in six years that require a security clearance that I don't have, even if the Army tells me repeatedly that I have one and I have no reason to question them.

Why, oh WHY, does that SOUND like the army?

Oh yeah...

Cuz it IS.

 

[Tgace]

Dont miss this section of that site...
http://www.skippyslist.com/skippyfriends.html

Heres one for upnorth

48. "Pax Americana" is not a proper slogan for any deployment OCONUS.

 

[KenpoTex]

LMAO! very nice

20. Must not taunt the French any more.

Why not?

22. Must never call an SAS a “Wanker”.

Suicidal...but still funny.

53. Not allowed to quote “Full Metal Jacket “ at the rifle range.

Awwww, come on.

110. Never, ever, attempt to correct a Green Beret officer about anything.

DUH!

200. My chain of command is not interested in why I “just happen” to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in the back of my car.

I don't even wanna know!