Have a slight problem!

[bookworm_cn317]

How do I get more aggressive in my TKD class?
I have a huge problem with being aggressive in class; namely, not being aggressive. My instructor REALLY wants me to be aggressive, but I'm so used to being quiet & shy in my normal life that it kind of leaks over into class. So, I need help!

Any suggestions?

[zDom]

Originally Posted by bookworm_cn317

How do I get more aggressive in my TKD class?
I have a huge problem with being aggressive in class; namely, not being aggressive. My instructor REALLY wants me to be aggressive, but I'm so used to being quiet & shy in my normal life that it kind of leaks over into class. So, I need help!

Any suggestions?

Hmm maybe a few.

First: assume the outward trappings of confidence. Smiling can make you feel happier -- acting confident can increase your confidence.

So: when your instructor calls out an instruction, respond with a loud "YES SIR!" (or ma'am as the case may be)

Speak loudly and clearly. Practice by greeting people as you arrive. Don't overdo it and shout at them. But make sure you aren't being quiet about it.

You have heard the saying, "dance like nobody is watching"?

Confidence also comes through repetition.

Practice your techniques with enthusiasm. Try HARD. Don't worry if you are not looking good -- the harder you practice, the better you will look. The more you sweat, the better.

And the more practice you do at HOME, the faster you will improve.

When it comes to sparring, remember: it's nothing personal.

Try to hit them as many times as you can. Don't be polite and wait for them to hit you. Don't worry about hurting their feelings. Just try to hit them often and with pretty techniques.

When you are done with the match, shake their hand (firmly!) and say, in a loud clear voice:

"Great job! Thanks you for working with me!"

Hope this stuff helps!

[Jade Tigress]

Originally Posted by bookworm_cn317

How do I get more aggressive in my TKD class?
I have a huge problem with being aggressive in class; namely, not being aggressive. My instructor REALLY wants me to be aggressive, but I'm so used to being quiet & shy in my normal life that it kind of leaks over into class. So, I need help!

Any suggestions?

Unfortunately, the best thing you can do to get over it is....just do it. Put your embarassment, or shyness aside. Fake it. You'll still feel it at first, but just pretend you are confident and aggressive. Next thing you know you WILL be confident and aggressive. It's a form of desensitization. If you do something you're uncomfortable with enough times, you stop being uncomfortable with it. Good Luck. It's a difficult thing, I know. But...YOU CAN DO IT!!! You can also try practicing at home, and visualize what you would look like if you were being more aggressive.

[Carol]

See if approaching class from a different perspective helps.

When you are on the mat, treat it as if you are trying your hand at acting. No audition process, no stage, no pressure, just a chance to try it out among supportive friends.

Or, see yourself as becoming stronger. It's clear from your post that you love your training and are doing well with it. And now its time for the next step. You are going to make yourself stronger. You'll have harder punches, firmer kicks, more secure grabs...all the moves you make will reflect that you are working to make yourself a stronger person.

When you put on your dobok and bow on to the mat, make the absolute most of every minute.

[donna]

We helped one of our ladys to get more agressive by making sure they were partnered with someone that they felt comfortable with, and that could encourage them to improove. Once they felt safe with that partner then the person would push them to increase their power and agressiveness in a non threatening manner. We found that as long as they felt safe ,they were more inclined to "Let their hair down" so to speak and actually started to enjoy themselves, and their power and agression improoved.

[Kacey]

I'm not sure what I can add to this that hasn't already been said - people have posted some great advice already.

I will say, however, that I had similar problems when I started sparring - I was scared silly someone would hurt me... or worse, I would hurt someone else. What worked for me was practicing with the most senior student I could find - because I knew I couldn't hurt him, and he wouldn't hurt me. This gave me the chance to work on things without worry about either one - then, as I was paired with other students I began to be less concerned. That didn't solve the problem entirely - but it certainly helped.

[RachelK]

I, too, used to have little confidence and I'll tell you what's helped me, but I should also tell you that it's taken me nearly three years of frequent training to get to the point where I feel confident. I can tell you with assurance that I would not have gained confidence if it were not for my study of martial arts. So if you keep at it, I am sure you will have results but it probably won't happen overnight.

I have a somewhat offbeat suggestion, because the physical affects the psychological. Check your posture, don't still stiffly tall, sticking your chest out like military posture, but don't slouch either. Just be relaxed but always look up, which conveys confidence. And when other people treat you as if you are strong and confident, you will act that way. It's a two-way street. So convey confidence and walk proud. You're a martial woman and that's pretty awesome, there aren't too many of us so why shouldn't you be proud? Of course, you don't want to be overconfident or cocky, but because you are a shy person, I don't think you have to worry about getting cocky--your instructor seems to think the opposite is more of a problem.

So keep your eyes up and your posture straight, but relaxed. In the style I practice, we keep the hips slightly tucked under, so you can draw a straight line from hip to knee to ankle and the back has no arch. I find this helps me to walk in a more confident way, because if I slouch or look down, it's like I don't want the world to see me or notice me (which is true, but I, too had to overcome that--confidence is important!) You unique and your walk should convey that, find your own rhythmn, as corny as that may sound.

When you go to class, get excited about it. Walk in that door with a spring in your step. It's OK to feel proud if you work hard at your practice. If you take a real joy in your practice, smile and laugh while you're sparring, take hits without getting angry, you will convey confidence. It's better to be cool than hot. If you act mean and aggressive, you will telegraph your intent, if you're calm under pressure, you will convey confidence that will weaken your opponent's resolve. That's why sparring is important; it helps you to get used to pressure so it's less crippling if you should truly find yourself in danger.

Getting used to getting hit is also good for confidence. The idea of getting hit is often worse than the hit itself. Getting dinged up is a learning experience. You see which kind of hits really do cripple you and which just make a loud noise. I think it makes it easier to spar, after you get hit a few times, because you have a frame of reference to weigh cost and gain...because to strike your opponent, you have to draw within range of his fists, too. If you can anticipate his hit, it might be worth getting slightly clipped if it allows you to draw close enough for the takedown or whatever the goal might be. But you can only make those judgements after getting hit a few times because if you misjudge and take it full on, a hit to the temple or the back of the head can leave you stunned and incapable of action.

Another offbeat suggestion is to look good. If you need to improve your confidence, it won't hurt to improve your looks. At the risk of sounding like an article straight outta Cosmo, your appearance is not an insignificant factor in your overall confidence, even if you think you don't care about looks. I didn't used to care at all about how I looked except at the office. My coworkers saw me looking good, my friends and family saw me in ripped tees and ill-fitting cargo pants. I let my hair grow shaggy, what's the difference, I thought. But then my friend encouraged me to buy some new threads, I got a haircut and a new pair of shoes and a new bag, and I upgraded my faded baggy workout clothes with some better-fighting pants and tees, and I really do feel more confident on the weekends and after work when I see the people I really care about.

There's my advice and I hope it helps you. Most importantly, just have patience; in time, you will have more confidence, because your a martial artist and you are walking that path.

Best wishes,
Rachel