Am I overreacting?

[thecrow]

i think he is ****ing with you, to give a exsample of someone who is sorry for hitting you.
my teacher is a grandmaster and other masters come in the gym from time to time to keep sharp, help others train and get our teachers point across,(we don't have belts) i was paired with a master doing a punch and block and then take down drill and i hit the master right on the chin at 1% my power and i stopped the drill said sorry he nodded i gave a nod and we started again, the fault was his he should have blocked it, but also mine i should have stopped, i was so sure he would block every thing that i didn't think to stop. that is a reaction of someone who is sorry for hitting you, the whole i'm sorry after thought and pat on the back is a mind game, sounds like he is tiring to teach you a lesson, either way he is out of line. the whole he is a higher belt than you he may feel bla bla, that is his problem not yours, you don't have to worry or fix his miss placed emotion, in fact we don't fight with emotion so it has no place in a drill anyway. the problem is his, the master who worked with me had studied over 20 yrs and was a master, yet it didn't bother him a bit to work with me, that is HUMBLE, which we all should be.
i would let him propel me, i would train harder because of him, and would hit him in the throat, and say sorry, i would get better than him and make him humble, it would be my goal, but if you want to handle it the verbal way you could say after he says he is sorry: the chinese have a saying, don't say your sorry for being late, just don't be late. in other words you are say don't tell me you are sorry for hitting me just don't hit me.
it is a indirect way of saying don't do it and he will have to think for a min what it means so no conflict will come from it. the next step is to hit him. sorry if i talked down to you, not sure what level you are at and your story pissed me off.
if it happen in my gym i would pair with him and turn his arms black and blue, i study iron arm kung among other things, and trust me he would get the point, you'll have to excuse me, it is hard to remain humble when your ready to fight,

stand up for yourself, oh and a good book that can help that is the art of strategy by r.l. wing

the crow

[AlanE]

Originally Posted by Tez3

Like most women I'm not chuffed at getting older but oh the advantages it does give you! If I'm not politically correct, it doesn't worry me anymore nor does it worry me if I upset someone who is being a pain in the arse! I have the confidence of age to frankly to grab this fellas family jewels, twist while smiling sweetly and telling him if he doesn't do things properly as instructed and taught I will have his nuts for earrings. Works a treat I find after all what do you have when you have two small balls in your hand? A. a man's undivided attention.

Originally Posted by Tez3

Have I done it? you bet, I did it to a chavinist colleague, never had a problem after that.

Well, tough deal for my first post after 6 months viewing, confronting an icon when I'd so much prefer to help humanity (big one that). Chauvinism is merely bad manners and may be stupidity.

I usually loved your posts, Tex3, and your respect shown, stories, etc. But no longer, this is simply disgusting. I don't think you ever have to resort to "rape" type efforts to be respected. You went way too far and I can't respect this. Fear and disgust perhaps, but not respect.

It had nothing to do with your words or being PC (and the PC/societal approach these days is to hurt/threaten a man's privates at every chance so that's backwards, but this forum is far better). In fact, the only respite from poor acting females has been the martial arts where respect is usually shown in both directions.

You never had a problem again? I'm not sure. Do you know why men always respect women in MA - they get beat fair and square or the training effort is equal or better than theirs. You should have been fired or sued, but men often accept such treatment and don't think of their full options. Again, good lessons for men from women (in another thread about senior male student busting female's lip playing by the rules) who think of many options for surviving bullies, mistreatment, etc., at the cost initially, of their focus during class.

As an aside, know why kids become geniuses, and so many others become awesome in life - few worries about critical things and hyper-focus. Put a 2 year old in a room with a piano, well-fed, and no worries, she's likely to become a prodigy.

You can't do this to men and get "respect" or the best of them again. It was wrong and it matter not what the controlled situation was.

Speaking of one's best, my male classmates attested like me to the fact that the groin cup is always a pain in the butt. We lose either way - step mobility, chafing, pinching of testicles. Going all out is always tougher. Freedom of thought is tougher. So many advantages there as a woman. So if some men don't respect you then you still know and respect yourselves, and are freer in many ways. Allow men the same freedom and show more respect than family jewel comments. And actions that you’re willing to brag about. Smiled did you? You bring down the foundations of martial trust and even further gender relations. Slow or fast, even when you think you "never had a problem after that." In fact, when did you post? It certainly got over to me and encouraged my first post. But it wasn't just you.

Confidence and comfort in your age, or tired and lacking discipline now like so many that get older? Are you setting an example that truly helps saying this? So you hurt or scared a man by squeezing his testicles and threatening him. I'm trying to think if I ever bragged about hurting or scaring anyone in my fights, even in my youth.

I'm sure I broke unwritten rules of a newbie, but right is right and I know that no one here would advocate sexual assault of females based on earlier slights that male students may have felt.


No other problems...collegue grew to love working with you? Reach his potential? Greet you with "respect"?

[Tez3]

Oh and you didn't wonder what he did to me to make me do that to him? Did you think it was a bit of banter than I took 'wrongly' or he expressed an opinion I didn't like?
Wrong. In fact he got off lightly.

While teaching him a ground move he grabbed my right breast and twisted it..slowly..until the pain was excruciating all the while grinning at me as if to say, 'ha, get out of that' so I did, as described and I told him as I posted, to follow instructions and do as I tell him when I'm teaching him. He was also known for making sexual comments that made women feel uncomfortable and had 'copped a feel' of other ladies while brushing it off as 'accidents'

And it damn well served him right and no I'm not in the least sorry and you may have liked to PMd me to ask me why if it bothered you so much and you really felt I couldn't be trusted to do it in a situation where it needed doing. Well I guess I had a choice, I could have let this chavinistic SOB see me cry and run to my instructor for him to sort out. I could have given up martial arts. Reach his potential? I hope he rots in hell. Oh I forgot to mention, a couple of days before that I had a biopsy done on the lump in my right breast. I still have the lump there..it's a 'mouse' they said, a non malignant tumour.

Oh did I tell you about the time I choked another guy out.................


Mr Alan, get off your high horse and don't make assumptions before lecturing someone when you don't know the facts.

[AlanE]

Ceasar,

Everyone here sees you can't learn the normal way with this guy and it hurts, too. Some people will take much too long to "catch on" (Albert Einstein goes club hopping - might be a learning curve) We just can't be all things to all people. Social ineptitude for a psychologist - I've heard of it before.

Because sports is a different mentality, a natural world in many ways, and happy-go-lucky isn't in the brain of some of the thinking types. It's not in the rude types either, or the psychos (gosh, this could go on all day).

If, and I say if, he's a biased against women, mild or more so, then he didn't learn it from a man. Oh perhaps he grew up with a poor example from a man, and got some poor treatment from women based on that, or he just innocently got poor treatment from women. But he's pretty complex. Everyone is.

As young as you are, and especially as a young woman, teach him how to act. Seriously. It appears solely to be a confrontation, and if I were you my heart would be seriously pounding too, but turn it to something better if you can. You have power which is from your person and wonderfully from the opposite sex. I don't think it's an accident you met him. But I'm pretty (Christian, karmic, you name it) in my thinking at times. Admittedly all you could really expect is to "paint the old building" and make it look newer -- his habits are better. However, people are very special and you may have more beneficial effect on him than just him respecting your limits.

Having myself stopped martial arts a few times over the years, it's a gratifying eye-opener to then live martial arts for awhile and not be caught up in dojo personalities which are not much different than church personalities sometimes. I could see better when off-arts. For one thing the dojo was actually much nicer than real life.

Best of luck to you!

[AlanE]

Tez,
I assure you I have no high horse. What you said disgusted me and you already answered the question by stating there was a chauvenist collegue. Why would I ask how the conversation went? Then you recommended and bragged.

You're an example to others. Tez. I saw braggarts growing up, all men. I now see braggarts, mostly women. And they don't brag about winning a fight. Can you guess what then men bragged about back in the day? What is different today? Same subject matter of one-upping with sexual and mental discomfort, different gender.

Your actions long ago were up to you. If were I a woman I'd be very hurt and perhaps do something similar. I don't know. Would I brag years later if I were a respected poster, and not immediately work to make amends with a deeply offended reader? Or would I keep up the fight, do what I teach...fight and justify. Or would I teach others to live better and be stronger. I'm not sure.

If your breast is injured from him I'm terribly sorry. If it's not from him, I'm still terribly sorry. Please stay well.

Thanks for teaching me about the Private Message feature. I really do desire to respect people, but this was a shocker from one whose posts I'd admired. Feel free to tell, or PM me, about your choke out.

[Blade96]

Originally Posted by Tez3

Like most women I'm not chuffed at getting older but oh the advantages it does give you! If I'm not politically correct, it doesn't worry me anymore nor does it worry me if I upset someone who is being a pain in the arse! I have the confidence of age to frankly to grab this fellas family jewels, twist while smiling sweetly and telling him if he doesn't do things properly as instructed and taught I will have his nuts for earrings. Works a treat I find after all what do you have when you have two small balls in your hand? A. a man's undivided attention.

Have I done it? you bet, I did it to a chavinist colleague, never had a problem after that.

Originally Posted by Tez3

That's not an over reaction at all it's quite mild in my world, overreaction would be pinning him up against the wall by the throat. It's not embarrassing as I said, I have the advantage of age lol! Where I work and who I work with means that physical encounters like this are often the only ones understood and it really is a very mild action, honestly!

Thats mild? Wow. I'd hate to see severe, lol.

but Tez, You sure you wanna work in a place and with such people as this chauvinist douchenozzle where that kind of action you did is the only one understood? It doesnt sound to me like a very good place!

But if I hadnt been in hell holes in my life too and experienced it I'd probably have the opinion of Alan. But unfortunately some situations it is a necessity.

As Blade said in the movie to a young girl who asked him about the 'badness inside of him: 'why can't you just be nice?" And he said, "Because the world isnt nice"

[Tez3]

Alan if you don't like it I'm afraid that's tough, I really don't care what you think. If you think I was bragging so be it. This is my world and welcome to it. I am what I am nothing more, nothing less, so get over it.
If you notice I said colleague, it was a work training situation and yes some military colleagues can be real pains.
I work on the largest garrison in Europe, shortly I may (I hope) be working in a warzone not in Europe teaching non Europeans who think women are the lowest life form how to do my job.
And yes that is a mild action, do you think soldiers are mild mannered and politically correct? Although frowned on by authority the general punishment for misdemeanors is still a punch in the face or stomach, usually up to the soldier. What sort of people do you think our fighting men are? These are hard men, grab their balls and you get their attention, whining and whinging about womens rights and respecting women for who they are, will not.
We deal with fighting on the streets and in the pubs most nights, we deal with drunk sometimes aggressive abusive trained fighting me, where we can, we treat people the best we can but if a big Jock or Fijian is coming at me with his fists trust me I'm not nice, i have never pretended on MT or anywhere else that I'm a nice gentle little old lady, I'm not. If you read me as being that way, your mistake. Swing at me I will come for you, I'm a fighter not a 'love everyone' type of person. I'm extremely good at my job which suits me and I'm also extremely fond of the service people I deal with even the stroppy ones. With them you earn respect and their respect I value. I earned a hell of a lot of respect by my actions with that colleague, he actually apologised sometime later and as I said he was no bother again. As I said this is my world and thats the way things are and frankly I love my job and wouldn't change it for the world.

". . 't isn't the best drill, though drill is nearly everything, that hauls a Regiment through Hell and out on the other side. It's the man (woman) who knows how to handle men - goat-men, swine-men, dog-men, and so on." - from "Only a Subaltern," Rudyard Kipling,

Oh and what's with the 'years later' bit? It only happend a couple of weeks before I posted up! Just how old do you think I am?

[Tez3]

Originally Posted by Blade96

Thats mild? Wow. I'd hate to see severe, lol.

but Tez, You sure you wanna work in a place and with such people as this chauvinist douchenozzle where that kind of action you did is the only one understood? It doesnt sound to me like a very good place!

But if I hadnt been in hell holes in my life too and experienced it I'd probably have the opinion of Alan. But unfortunately some situations it is a necessity.

As Blade said in the movie to a young girl who asked him about the 'badness inside of him: 'why can't you just be nice?" And he said, "Because the world isnt nice"

Blade I have been with the military since I was 18, that's nearly 40 years now. I love my job and while the British squaddie can a a real pain I will stand by them till the end of the earth, they are magnificent, brave, wonderful people and it's home and family to me. If you think the men can fight you should see the girls lol! They are winning bravery medals for the most courageous effects you can imagine. Our service people as I said work hard under horrific conditions with their lives in danger at all times, if they aren't up on etiquette, political correctness and workplace niceties it's understandable and easy enough to cope with.
Oh and in case anyone was wondering, yep the men do grab each other by the balls when they really want to grab someones attention or just plain hurt someone, it's not just me.

[Bruno@MT]

Originally Posted by Blade96

But if I hadnt been in hell holes in my life too and experienced it I'd probably have the opinion of Alan. But unfortunately some situations it is a necessity.

I haven't been in hell holes. Yet I don't share Alans opinion.
There are people who delight in hurting others to prove their superiority, or just for fun. Getting these people to 'reach their potential' or whatever is a waste of time. They don't care.

Irene's reaction was appropriate imo.

[Tez3]

Alan, you might like to get back to reading Mr. Pascal's blogs now, you've done your bit.

[Carol]

Originally Posted by Tez3

I work on the largest garrison in Europe, shortly I may (I hope) be working in a warzone not in Europe teaching non Europeans who think women are the lowest life form how to do my job.

You stay safe ma'am, that's an order.

[Tez3]

Originally Posted by Carol

You stay safe ma'am, that's an order.

thank you. To be honest I'll be disappointed if I don't get chosen.



And I'd like to apologise to the OP, for the massive off topic direction this resurrected thread has taken, very unfair on her. I hope in fact it got sorted out.
In a martial arts training situation the instructor is always the best person to talk to about any problem, what happens from there will depend on any action they they take if any.
Posting up here for advice from some of the most knowledgable and kind people I know is always worthwhile!

Alan you may want to know take time to introduce yourself in the Meet and Greet section, if there are posts you find offensive there is the RTM function. All other info is available on site.

[Blade96]

Originally Posted by Bruno@MT

I haven't been in hell holes. Yet I don't share Alans opinion.
There are people who delight in hurting others to prove their superiority, or just for fun. Getting these people to 'reach their potential' or whatever is a waste of time. They don't care.

Irene's reaction was appropriate imo.

I'm glad you learned it without being in hell holes

Its just that from my experience people who think the world is safe and nice and that humanity is 'mostly good' are the ones who've lived in a world thats been for them a 'sugar-coated topping' and never really experienced the 'bad side'

btw what does 'OP' mean?

and yeah, sorry about my off topic post.

[Tez3]

Originally Posted by Blade96

I'm glad you learned it without being in hell holes

Its just that from my experience people who think the world is safe and nice and that humanity is 'mostly good' are the ones who've lived in a world thats been for them a 'sugar-coated topping' and never really experienced the 'bad side'

btw what does 'OP' mean?

and yeah, sorry about my off topic post.

'Original post/poster'

My world is far from bad, there's never a day we don't have a laugh ( even if the humour is odd lol) it's just I work with people who do a hard job and risk losing their lives to do that job. Harking back to another thread, these hard guys may not be PC but have no trouble accepting gays, lesbians and transsexuals. All in all it's a good life!