I still grappled!

[Flea]

It was just so nice to announce it the first time that I decided to repost it. Yay Flea!

It's been a long journey of ten months and counting. The first time my class did groundwork I freaked out and went home. I've had several attempts that would last about five minutes before I disappeared for a long walk of an hour or more. The turning point came at a seminar a couple weeks ago, when we worked on crumpling each other up on the ground in a painful heap and then helping them find their own way out of it. I had no problem with that exercise. Last Saturday it hit me; I saw the parallel between being immobilized on the ground ... and being immobilized on the ground. I enjoyed the one, so what's the problem with the other?

I worked with the assistant teacher for a good 20 minutes or so as he talked me through it, step by step. I got weirded out at one point and sat in suspended animation with my eyes closed for a few minutes - I knew if I backed out I might never go back to it, so that was my compromise. It must have looked kind of strange, but no one said anything. Deep respect for a teacher willing to sit quietly in a wrist lock for several minutes without a word.

I expected a delayed reaction to it and I'm finally seeing it several days later. Yesterday and today I've felt very snarky and defensive over nothing in particular. I'm not sure whether I should attend class tonight or not. It could help, or it could backfire. I don't think I'll know until I get there, but I think it's worth a shot.

Anyway, thanks to all of you for your kudos the first time around. Yay to all of us. Yay MT! This is a very cool forum indeed. I don't think I could have done this without all the encouragement I've gotten here.

[celtic_crippler]

The whole idea of training in a "dojo" is that it's a safe environment to practice for unsafe events.

You can make mistakes in the dojo and it won't cost you your life. However, if you do not train to the point where you can identify mistakes then you will never learn from them or expand your area of expertise.

Worst case scenario: you fail to identify a hole or weakness in your training and unfortunately discover it when it matters; a self-defense situation.

[Stac3y]

Good for you. You're right to be proud of yourself, Flea! Keep up the good work.

[Andy Moynihan]

This is awesome to hear because I know this has been a rollercoaster area for you for some while now. Good job.

[Carol]

Congratulations! That is fantastic!

[Chris Parker]

Hi Flea,

The confrontation of percieved limitations and boundaries is the sure recipe for development and growth, this is nothing but positive. In a word, brilliant!

[Grendel308]

Flea, my Dear, you know how I feel. Every step forward into the light feeds the soul and lightens the heart. Keep up the good fight angel .
lori

[stevebjj]

flea, I'm probably repeating myself from the first time this went through, but you're not alone. While it's not uncommon for the close contact to be unnerving for many women, it's also disconcerting for a lot of men, too.

Takes a lot of guts for anyone to take the plunge. Good on ya.