Are we the weaker sex?

[Andy Moynihan]

Originally Posted by tellner

My Invisible Friend says your Invisible Friend is wrong. My IF also says that I'm supposed to sacrifice the rest of you to Great Tsathoggua. And the world isn't round like a ball. It's shaped like a burrito. Don't like what my IF has to say? Then maybe we shouldn't use either of them as science or justifications for public policy.

."

Children who talk to imaginary friends is a normal stage of development.

Groups of full grown ADULTS who still do it is a psychosis.

[jks9199]

Originally Posted by Carol Kaur

Archangel touched upon restraining orders in another thread, and he emphasized that they are not some kind of magic shield. They realistically function in a way to create probable cause for the police to take action in a matter where they would not have had probable cause under the law. Even when LE is involved and doing all they can, the matter is still extremely complicated.

Carol,

You've got the right idea, but I want to rephrase it. A protective order/restraining order does not give probable cause; it gives absolute authority to the police to act, IF they are called and can prove the violation.

In other words -- when I show up, and the victim shows me that the protective order has been issued and served, the person violating it goes to jail. With two charges: contempt of court (OK, really the judge will add that one) and violating a protective order. And, if they get a bond on that, it's going to be astronomical...

[shesulsa]

Originally Posted by Carol Kaur

Archangel touched upon restraining orders in another thread, and he emphasized that they are not some kind of magic shield. They realistically function in a way to create probable cause for the police to take action in a matter where they would not have had probable cause under the law. Even when LE is involved and doing all they can, the matter is still extremely complicated.

Originally Posted by jks9199

Carol,

You've got the right idea, but I want to rephrase it. A protective order/restraining order does not give probable cause; it gives absolute authority to the police to act, IF they are called and can prove the violation.

In other words -- when I show up, and the victim shows me that the protective order has been issued and served, the person violating it goes to jail. With two charges: contempt of court (OK, really the judge will add that one) and violating a protective order. And, if they get a bond on that, it's going to be astronomical...

Some people, when a restraining order is issued against them, get a wake-up call; others get really, really pissed off. But the point is, a paper trail has started and the police, once they see the order, are to arrest the suspect.

Interesting: I was issued a temp restraining order and when my ex violated it and the police came, they asked me, "Are you sure you want to do this?" Uh, dude ... I got the protection order for a reason, a judge saw fit to issue it to me, and he is threatening me in front of you ... is your witness of threat, proof of document and info from witnesses not enough for you? Well, if he took him to jail it might piss him off more and he might just come right back here.

It's a hell of a cycle that takes serious gonads and a steel will to carry through. There are plenty of police who don't need the extra work and who will talk a person out of it by telling them a restraining order is not a bullet-proof shield. BUT IT NEEDS TO BE DONE! It's not the only thing that needs to be done, but it NEEDS TO BE DONE!

Originally Posted by Bob Hubbard

Since we're on the topic of abuse....

I briefly dated a women some years back that I found was in a vicious cycle. When I met her she had just broken up (again) with her abuser after getting out of the hospital he had put her in. We dated for a few weeks, during which time he tried breaking in to her house (ripped the screen door off the hinges.), and tried ramming my car resulting in a high speed chase with me eventually losing him thanks to a red light. The relationship ended when I caught them in bed together a couple weeks later. I heard he put her back into the hospital a month later, and I lost track after that. "The Burning Bed" was her favorite movie, and she wondered why her 8 yr old kept wetting the bed. I offered help, an escape, and all, but she chose to stay in that cycle.

Brain washing and self doubt suck. This happens to men also. Both genders have similar flaws like that.

I think most people think they are not susceptible to brain washing and don't understand the gradual process of controlling another's mind. It was after I had filed the restraining order and divorce papers and when I was waiting in the police station to hand my children over for visitation when I saw a pamphlet on preventing domestic abuse. There was a list of ... oh, say, 10-15 precursors to abuse. On this end of my experience, it was glaringly easy to see ... but going into it, these little things didn't appear to be what they really were - steps towards the brainwashing process.

I felt so stupid in that moment! Wondering if had I seen this before - back at step 6 - would I have realized what I was in for? And ya know what? I still don't have the answer for that.

All I know is what happened to me and how it happened to me. It is quite insidious and has nothing to do with strength nor weakness.

[greaterdeamon]

Back when I was still a student at my Tae Kwon Do class, we had an elderly woman who would join in the forms, practices, and sometimes sparring.

When I was "non-contact" sparing with her, I went very easy. And learned that this woman has the defense of a moving spiderweb. Every opening was blocked and countered faster than I could have imagined.

I was an energetic young teen-age blue-belt, she was over 80.

The weaker sex is only an idea forced by society.

[Andy Moynihan]

You got it.