How I got screwed:
"Well, as I do every day your honor, I took my radar unit in for calibration and fine tuning. I also got the hot wax treatment on it so it shines right purty."

Because every cop doing traffic enforcement is required to daily take his unit in and ensure that it is 100% perfect. That's why they can clock those old ladies in their walkers doing 100mph. /sarcasm.

Cop when he got out of the car looked like a reject from Mario Brothers. In court, you'd swear he was getting married. Shoes shined, hair combed, hell he even tucked his gold chain away and buttoned up his shirt and had a gosh darn tie on.

His word vs mine + pissed off judge = I paid the fine and went home.
A long time ago, in a town far far away.

Of course, just because they -can- doesn't mean they -do-. Otherwise, how else can you explain how an opinionated schmuck like me can drive 50k miles and not be bothered?