How to turn a simple ticket into felony dumbass...

[jks9199]

Ingredients:

1. POS pickup truck
2. Drunk/high idiot driverhttp://www.curvesforum.com/forum/images/smilies/fete-saoul-vin-294239.gif
3. Suspended license
4. Bored, proactive cophttp://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/zzzz.jpg

Directions:

Step 1: Put the drunk/high driver, hereafter referred to as "Hummingbird Ass", behind the wheel of the POS pickup.

Step 2: Hummingbird Ass attempts to drive POS truck down a bike path, quickly realizes he can't do that, so back across a 5 lane road.

Step 3: Proactive cop, sees step 2 take place, and begins to follow POS truck.http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/k0j3m9.gif

Step 4: After Cop follows truck for a bit further, observing more suspicious driving, initiate a traffic stop.http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/zzzz.gif

Step 5: Hummingbird Ass almost rolls truck backwards into cruiser because he can't work the gears. The dying transmission may contribute to this...http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/eek.gif

Step 6A: Hummingbird Ass presents an invalid, expired learner's permit.

Step 6B: DMV return reveals Hummingbird Ass is suspended... multiple times, with notice.http://www.officerresource.com/forums/images/smilies/doh.gif

Step 7: Hummingbird Ass fumbing with truck rolls back towards cruiser 2x more, and is ordered out of the car, and interviewed.

Step 8A: Hummingbird Ass decides that it's a lovely moment for a jog... and takes off. Leaving his license and POS truck behind.http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/bolt.gif

Step 8B: Cop joins the spontaneous exercise session. Cop quickly decides it's not worth it since he knows where Hummingbird Ass lives, lived, and is probably running right towards.http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/zidea3.gif

Step 9: Hummingbird Ass shortly makes his way home... only to make the acquaintance of many friends of Proactive Cop. http://www.officerresource.com/forums/images/smilies/doh.gif

Step 10: Hummingbird Ass opens crocodile mouth, while trying to close bedroom door. Hummingird Ass soon makes the acquaintance of Thomas A. Swift's Electronic Rifle, in the handy pistol version.http://i525.photobucket.com/albums/cc340/yigottabcleatus/tasersmiley.gif

Step 11: Hummingbird Ass continues to run crocodile mouth...http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/drama.gifhttp://www.officerresource.com/forums/images/smilies/censored.gif http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/tape.gif

Step 12: Present Hummingbird Ass to magistrate. Allow to stew briefly, with crocodile mouth continuing to add heat to the pot.

Serve with multiple warrants (Resisting Arrest X2, Felony Assault on LEO, DUI, Refusal, Drive On Suspended License).http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/hurt.gifhttp://www.officerresource.com/forums/images/smilies/Cry.gif

What sucked was I missed the fun at the house, being stuck with Hummingbird Ass's truck... http://apbweb.com/forums/images/smilies/pout.gif

[Bob Hubbard]

Lol.

[oftheherd1]

Thanks for a laugh this morning.

[KempoGuy06]

wow!

thats all i got

B

[Sukerkin]

Good lord above!

Not a lot else to say really :).

[Senjojutsu]

Is it just me being warped... or does the OP sound something out of a SQUIDBILLIES script???

[Rich Parsons]

I have to know, why Hummingbird?

[jks9199]

I have to know, why Hummingbird?

Something a guy I used to work with would say: "Don't let your crocodile mouth overload your hummingbird ass."

[Dirty Dog]

Entertaining, but when was this ever "a simple ticket" as opposed to a DUI? Is a DUI not a felony where you live? I certainly hope not.

Personally, after 30 years in EMS, trying to put the victims of drunk drivers back together, I'm convinced that any DUI should be 5 years in an 8x10 cell with a hairy backed, knuckle dragging mouth breather named Bubba who wants to be your special friend. Minimum.

[seasoned]

Ignorance of the law is no exception, but, stupidity. This must be where that saying "slippery slope" comes from.........

[jks9199]

Entertaining, but when was this ever "a simple ticket" as opposed to a DUI? Is a DUI not a felony where you live? I certainly hope not.

Personally, after 30 years in EMS, trying to put the victims of drunk drivers back together, I'm convinced that any DUI should be 5 years in an 8x10 cell with a hairy backed, knuckle dragging mouth breather named Bubba who wants to be your special friend. Minimum.

DUI is a misdemeanor, until the 3rd offense. The kid was mostly looking at simply driving on a suspended, maybe a "baby DUI" or driving after consuming alcohol underage. Note the refusal charge; I don't know what his BAC was.

[Dirty Dog]

DUI is a misdemeanor, until the 3rd offense. The kid was mostly looking at simply driving on a suspended, maybe a "baby DUI" or driving after consuming alcohol underage. Note the refusal charge; I don't know what his BAC was.

A misdemeanor? How sad/ How very very sad. :(

[MaxiMe]

Something a guy I used to work with would say: "Don't let your crocodile mouth overload your hummingbird ass."
Guy you worked withs name? first will do if you don't mind. Uncxles have been saying that to me all jmy life "don't let your gator mouth overload your hummingbird...

[jks9199]

Guy you worked withs name? first will do if you don't mind. Uncxles have been saying that to me all jmy life "don't let your gator mouth overload your hummingbird...
His name's Larry -- but I'm confident he's not your uncle. It's not an uncommon saying in some parts...

[WC_lun]

As my grandma used to say, "Bless his pointed little head, he doesn't know he's stupid." :)

[OKenpo942]

Yes, this is why I love stupid people. They keep our job fun. Thanks for sharing that. Good times!

James