funny how you get a nickname

[TLH3rdDan]

there was an old scottsman that lived atop a large hill over a village... one day a man came by and began to talk to angus... and as they talked angus said to the man "do you see all of those roofs on all of those houses down there? well i thatched all of those roofs with these two hands and do the call me angus the roof builder? no!... do you see all of those walls down there? well i built all of those walls with these two hands and do the call me angus the wall builder? no!... do you see all of those roads down there? well i layed all of those stones with these two hands and do they call me angus the road builder? no!... but you screw one sheep and......

[D.Cobb]

Now that's funny!!!!!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
--Dave

:rofl: :rofl:

[Seig]

Ya kin wha they say laddie, a Scotsman wears a kilt, cause sheep kin hear zippers!

[Randy Strausbaugh]

Originally posted by Seig
Ya kin wha they say laddie, a Scotsman wears a kilt, cause sheep kin hear zippers!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Good one! Sick, but really,really good!

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh

[Seig]

One night a Scotsman had a few too many at the local pub. As he attempted to stagger home, he decided he should take a rest on the side of the road until his legs were a little more stable. So he went off the side of the road, laid down and promptly passed out. A while later two young lasses were passing by and saw the passed out Scot. One looked at the other and said, I wonder if it is true what they say a Scotsman doesn't wear under his kilt. They crept up to him and gently lifted his kilt and saw what God had given him, in all it's glory. The girls decided to leave him a momento. One girl took a blue ribbon from her hair and tied it around his penis. They then left, giggling. The next morning, the Scot woke up and had to answers nature's call. He staggered to a tree, lifted his kilt and saw the ribbon. he then said, "I dinnae know where ya been lad, but I see ya won first prize."

[Randy Strausbaugh]

Ah, but kin ye sing it, laddie? Kin ye sing it?
If not, STAY DEMENTED!:boing2:

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh

[tonbo]

I'm demented as quite a few others.

"The Scotsman's Kilt" is one of my favorites on my comedy CD....;)

I've been singing that one since I was just a wee little lad (no puns intended)......

:rofl:

Peace--

[Jill666]

:rofl:

[D.Cobb]

The Highland Man,
He Wears The Kilt,
And When The Wind Is Blowing,
He Don't Know Where The Wind Comes From,
But, By God, He Knows Where It's Going!

:rofl:

[Randy Strausbaugh]

There once was a man from Dundee,
A practical man, don't you see,
He wears a fine kilt,
In the winter he's chillt,
But it's easy to take a ... I forget the rest.:idunno:

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh

[Jill666]

At least it didn't rhyme with Nantucket. :D

[cali_tkdbruin]

Yeah, ya see ya make one little mistake and it sticks with you forever... :o

;) :p :rofl:

[old_sempai]

and the punch is: Ah dinna know whar ye been, ah dinna know what ye done..... but ah see ya won first Prize....

So the lass says to the Highlander what is under a kilt....
so he takes her hand and places under the kilt...
she pulls her hand back and says: yew that's gruesome....
and the Highlander says: Aye lass, and if ye put your hand back you'll find its "gruesome" more.......

:cheers:

[KenpoDragon]

Originally posted by old_sempai
and the punch is: Ah dinna know whar ye been, ah dinna know what ye done..... but ah see ya won first Prize....

So the lass says to the Highlander what is under a kilt....
so he takes her hand and places under the kilt...
she pulls her hand back and says: yew that's gruesome....
and the Highlander says: Aye lass, and if ye put your hand back you'll find its "gruesome" more.......

:cheers:
That was good!!!! :D :D :D

[Cliarlaoch]

heheh... I love this thread... Scottish humour.

"After all, it's only a drunken Scot who could have come up with a game like golf..." somewhat incorrect quote of Robin Williams.

And it's the Scots, and their kilts, that give new and perhaps even frightening meaning to the words "Blowin' in the wind..." depending on several factors including age and Viagra.

[Seig]

Originally posted by Randy Strausbaugh
Ah, but kin ye sing it, laddie? Kin ye sing it?
If not, STAY DEMENTED!:boing2:

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh
Trust me on this one, I can NOT sing.

[Randy Strausbaugh]

Originally posted by Seig
Trust me on this one, I can NOT sing.
You and me both, sir. You and me both. Thank goodness for country music, where you don't have to be able to sing or play an instrument.

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh

[D.Cobb]

Originally posted by Randy Strausbaugh
You and me both, sir. You and me both. Thank goodness for country music, where you don't have to be able to sing or play an instrument.

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh

CAREFUL SIR!!!!!
You're talking about the music that I love....

--Dave
:mad:

[Seig]

Hard to Beat Toby and Willie's new one!

[jfarnsworth]

Originally posted by Seig
Hard to Beat Toby and Willie's new one!

:idunno: , Brother Seig, I've never heard it.

[andurilking2]

:soapbox: it was just the one time right?:D

[old_sempai]

So the Scotsman goes to the miller and asks

"How much for ye bag of oats"

The miller says "Thru-pence"

The Scotsman replys "Ack - and wha hey makees ye think its worth Thru-pence?"

The miller says: "It dinna have no weeds nay or seeds - just good oats"

The Scotsman's says "I'll no pay anymore than tuppence for a bag from your store"

The Miller says: Aye - tuppence it tis - just give me a wee bit a time to run this bag o' oats through the horse and its yours"

[Seig]

Originally posted by jfarnsworth
:idunno: , Brother Seig, I've never heard it. Netscape has the video archived, it's called Beer for my horses.

[deadhand31]

MacGregor, being a scotsman, had a terrible problem with drinking. What didn't help is that he lived across the street from the local pub. One day, he promises his wife he'll stop drinking. The first night, he has problems doing this, and sneaks across the street to the pub. He orders round after round of scotch, and gets himself totally pickled beyond belief. He later realizes that it's getting late, and has to head home before his wife catches him. Feeling that half a bottle of scotch he drank, he tries to get up. BOOM! He falls to the ground, and crawls over to the door. He grabs hold of the door, tries pulling himself up, and BOOM! He falls to the ground as the door swings open under his weight. Seeing his house across the street, he crawls across the street, hoping that his wife isn't up yet. He tries to pull himself up yet again, opens the door, and WHAM!, kisses the ground once again. He waits to see if it woke up his wife, and when figures that the coast is clear, he slowly makes his way to bed. He gets in bed, dirty and bruised, without waking his wife, and passes out, satisfied with himself that he got away with it.

In the morning, he wakes up to his wife beating him with a frying pan.

"YA BASTAHD!!!" she screams, "YA WENT OUT DRINKIN AGAIN!!!"

"B-but I didn't!!!", he lies, " Why d' ya say that??"

"THE BARTENDER CALLED!!! YOU LEFT YOUR WHEELCHAIR THERE AGAIN!!!!"

[Jay Bell]

Randy,

'kin' means "know" :D

[old_sempai]

Kin also means "can" as in "Ay no kin see wha you mean".... Spent more than a little time in the Highlands - and the family roots go back to the Clans, just before the Rising of the 45....... but the only good thing that came from the Bonny Prince was Drambuie............ and dinna ye know I'm in the mind to have a wee dram or two this weekend...........