View Full Version : Has your character ever been misjudged because you study the arts?


oldmusic6080
05-03-2009, 12:40 AM
I took up the martial arts because I wanted to learn how to defend myself and because I enjoy working out. I have had this passion for 25 years. I no longer have the resources to take lessons, but I enjoy watching videos of different styles and am fascinated by the many different methods and flavors of executing the same techniques.

I am a peaceful person with a college degree who has never hurt anyone, and yet I feel that I have often been mislabeled in some way. I am someone that respects women and treats them with great esteem. I am the type of man that would not be intimidated by an equal or stronger woman, and welcomes their success and strength.

I am a martial artist and seek self-improvement. I don't study to learn to hurt anyone as I take no pleasure in causing anyone harm. I study because I don't want to be harmed. I don't bully, provoke, nor cause anyone mental distress.

Has anyone else been perceived as being violent, aggressive, etc. solely because they have an interest in the arts? I have no delusions of being Rambo or some commando. It is quite ironic, since I have never been in a fight. I even put spiders outside rather than killing them.

Bill Mattocks
05-03-2009, 12:52 AM
I took up the martial arts because I wanted to learn how to defend myself and because I enjoy working out. I have had this passion for 25 years. I no longer have the resources to take lessons, but I enjoy watching videos of different styles and am fascinated by the many different methods and flavors of executing the same techniques.

I am a peaceful person with a college degree who has never hurt anyone, and yet I feel that I have often been mislabeled in some way. I am someone that respects women and treats them with great esteem. I am the type of man that would not be intimidated by an equal or stronger woman, and welcomes their success and strength.

I am a martial artist and seek self-improvement. I don't study to learn to hurt anyone as I take no pleasure in causing anyone harm. I study because I don't want to be harmed. I don't bully, provoke, nor cause anyone mental distress.

Has anyone else been perceived as being violent, aggressive, etc. solely because they have an interest in the arts? I have no delusions of being Rambo or some commando. It is quite ironic, since I have never been in a fight. I even put spiders outside rather than killing them.

I have had coworkers compliment me on my obvious weight loss and increased energy level (I'm 48 and just started martial arts training seriously for the first time last September). They ask my how I'm doing it and I tell them 'martial arts' and they get kind of a scared look in their eyes. Which I enjoy.

I feel like the Kurgan going "Happy Halloween, ladies!" and then complaining that nuns have no sense of humor. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Thesemindz
05-03-2009, 02:23 AM
I had someone seriously offer me money to kill someone they didn't like.

Seriously. As though simply because I am a martial artist I would be willing to accept an offer like that.

I thought that was pretty offensive.


-Rob

Chris Parker
05-03-2009, 06:51 AM
Both variations, actually.

I had a friend's mother express concern at her daughters spending time with me, because, as a martial art student, I would obviously be carrying weapons with me everywhere I went, which was far too dangerous for them to be around. Ironically, she also insisted that the elder daughter carry a knife everywhere for her own defence... go figure.

On the other hand, when a small gang of guys apparently pulled a knife on a couple of girls in the park next door, one of my colleagues told me that he wanted me to come out and confront them because I had some training. I told him I had no interest or need in getting into a knife-fight with 5 other guys, and he should call the police. He didn't get it.

stickarts
05-03-2009, 09:23 AM
I wouldn't say my character has often been misjudged, however, many people definately don't have a clear perception of what it is all about or how it relates to me.

sgtmac_46
05-03-2009, 11:30 AM
I never thought about it too much. I'm a cop, so most folks consider the martial arts to be par for the course (though that's not accurate on their part as most cops aren't martial artists). It's actually the cop thing that the average person judges me by, not the martial arts part.

Himura Kenshin
05-03-2009, 12:10 PM
Welcome to MT!

I used to get asked the question "Can you beat up____?" Just insert any random person's name in there. I also had some people do a "mock" karate kid crane pose around me or do a mock kata.

I found that some people think I'm a killing machine, some people think what I do is a joke, some people think what I do is cultish for some reason, and rarely I get a person's respect for it. Which gives me some hope for the future.

searcher
05-03-2009, 12:45 PM
I have been accused of being a Knucke-draggin Caveman on several occasions, just by being a MAist. Many people move away from us like we are going to become violent at any time.

I try to tell them that being a MAist is not why I would explode in a fit of rage, it is because they listen to country music. That is enough to make anyone go insane.

Jenna
05-03-2009, 12:57 PM
A very interesting question :) I generally keep my martial studies as "my little thing" that not too many outside know of. Of course word gets around or slips out indirectly in conversation and I find the reaction is most often based on preconception of the arts and of me.

Among those who believe the arts to consist of kicking each other into an early grave, I am usually told I look nothing like a martial artist.

Among girl friends, I am maybe regarded as tomboy, pffft, though I think this is one of the biggest tragedies - that although it is wonderful that more unblinkered women are coming to the arts, too many are deterred by the persisting stereotype of it either being for boys only, or being in some way de-feminising to teh women who practise it (as though it is akin to female bodybuilding, eww).

Also I think the portrayal of martial arts in our media has offered less than it has taken away. I think it offers unrealistic expectations. It also offers some ridiculous stereotypes, though there are exceptions! The problem here as well is that even the MA movies / games and many new RB courses are oriented towards male audiences and participants and so women often do not have a chance to see the strong, self-confident Kate and Milla and Carrie-Ann characters and become inspired to take up an art seriously.

Sorry, that is very divergent. Yes, I have been misjudged. I am not a stereotype; none of us are! Likewise there is no "typical" martial artist. It is simply an activity we do, so in a sense, all preconceptions are incorrect and all bets are off :) Again though, a very good question :)
Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

Sukerkin
05-03-2009, 01:04 PM
Interesting response from your female friends, Jenna. I don't think that the women in this shot would react in a pleased fashion to being told they aren't feminine:

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=5&pictureid=102

shihansmurf
05-03-2009, 01:43 PM
I particularly enjoy being informed by the helpful gun advocates that what I study is worthless since firearms have been invented and I would be much better off simply carrying a pistol around with me. Now I usually forgo pointing out to the person that I have a concealed carry permit and, in point of fact, am armed most of the time but I instead simply ask the invariably gunless person if they have a weapon on them at the moment. When they answer in the negative I smile and illustrate, after fighting back the urge to pummel the person as a means of counter point, that I am still capable of defending myself sans weapon. Ususally works to end the discussion.

The worst experience that I've ever had at being prejudged over my involvement in the martial arts was upon my initial meeting with my father in law. Everthing had gone swimmingly and I had pulled him aside to inform him of my intention to marry his daughter and ask his blssings(I'm from Wyoming, we're still kinda traditional up in those parts). I had made a good impression, was a bright college student, and his daughter was crazy over me, so he granted his blessings. He did, however, take great care to ask me not to beat his daughter, when we had arguments. Jim assumed that since I was involved in a violent sport that I would naturally solve disputes with the future Mrs Smurf thusly. In what I still consider a stunning act of self control, given that how I fell about guys that abuse woment, I calmly explaned to him that I don't engage in that sort of behavior and that it would be better should he and I not engage in that type of conversation again. I did, however, punch the almighty hell out of the heavy bag that night. I don't take well to being insulted in that manner, but for a myriad of reason popping him in the face didn't seem like the appropriate response. Ironic in the Bill Engvall joke sense.

Mark

P.S. He has sense apologized, and I have come to understand that he was just concerned for his daughter, not trying to actively offend me. He and have a good relationship nowadays. That initial meeting, though....

jks9199
05-03-2009, 01:57 PM
Interesting response from your female friends, Jenna. I don't think that the women in this shot would react in a pleased fashion to being told they aren't feminine:

http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/picture.php?albumid=5&pictureid=102
I dunno... I think everyone it that pic looks kind of feminine, wearing skirts and all! ;)

Seriously, though, I just take the approach that it's something I do, just like woodworking or mountain biking or visiting this website (among others). I don't go out of my way to advertise it or share it...

I get the occasional ribbing from my colleagues sometimes... but I just try to laugh it off.

Sukerkin
05-03-2009, 02:06 PM
:lol:

Hmm .. mayhaps the fine gentlemen in his rush to comment might have overlooked the fact that all present are armed :D. There is little that is more dangerous to insult than a Western man, in a dress, in possession of a sword that he knows well how to use :eek:.

Ken Morgan
05-03-2009, 02:13 PM
[quote=shihansmurf;1164969]

The worst experience that I've ever had at being prejudged over my involvement in the martial arts was upon my initial meeting with my father in law. Everthing had gone swimmingly and I had pulled him aside to inform him of my intention to marry his daughter and ask his blssings(I'm from Wyoming, we're still kinda traditional up in those parts). I had made a good impression, was a bright college student, and his daughter was crazy over me, so he granted his blessings. He did, however, take great care to ask me not to beat his daughter, when we had arguments. Jim assumed that since I was involved in a violent sport that I would naturally solve disputes with the future Mrs Smurf thusly. In what I still consider a stunning act of self control, given that how I fell about guys that abuse woment, I calmly explaned to him that I don't engage in that sort of behavior and that it would be better should he and I not engage in that type of conversation again. I did, however, punch the almighty hell out of the heavy bag that night. I don't take well to being insulted in that manner, but for a myriad of reason popping him in the face didn't seem like the appropriate response. Ironic in the Bill Engvall joke sense.

Mark

P.S. He has sense apologized, and I have come to understand that he was just concerned for his daughter, not trying to actively offend me. He and have a good relationship nowadays. That initial meeting, though....[/quote)


LOL!!

My inlaws all think I’m insane doing Japanese sword and staff work, Hell they thought I am/was insane to do weight training/bodybuilding. Most folks kinda glaze over and say, “oh, ok, that’s nice.”

I’ve told my 15 year old daughter that if anyone ever hurts her in anyway, shape or form I will deal with them, and they will not like the results. She has heard me say it so often she knows that I’m not kidding.

I’m not sure what course to take…when she finally brings a boy home should I be cleaning my shotgun or my sword at the kitchen table? Or should I just challenge the kid to a bench press contest and spot him 100# and still beat him?

Omar B
05-03-2009, 02:19 PM
I briefly dated this girl who would get into it in the bar with people then come get me to beat up whoever she offended. Yeah, that got old pretty quick. Because I can fight does not mean I want you to be obnoxious in a social situation ... my friend who owned the bar was not happy with her way of conducting herself.

Also, girls tend to think it's cool that I am a martial artist till they realize that it also means they can't dominate my time, I'll be at the gym 3 nights a week and all day Saturday. They love telling their friends about their boyfriend who can do, I don't know whatever they tell them about me because they all seemed to know. It just pissed her off that I had a life that consited of martial arts and my band and not her.

Aniela13
05-03-2009, 03:58 PM
I’m not sure what course to take…when she finally brings a boy home should I be cleaning my shotgun or my sword at the kitchen table? Or should I just challenge the kid to a bench press contest and spot him 100# and still beat him?



hm...I think I'd say the sword, but have the shotgun propped up in the corner for effect :ultracool And, of course, if the opportunity for the bench press contest presents itself...well, never turn down a gift ^_^

just2kicku
05-03-2009, 04:20 PM
Yeah, some people think that just because you're an MAist you can pretty much catch bullets in your teeth, break concrete with a drinking glass and block everything that they can throw at you.... I have to tell them that just cause I can, doesn't mean everyone can. http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/images/icons/icon12.gif

Really, I have been called everything from bad ass to pagan to crazy. I can't stand people who are too ignorant to find out what the MAs' are all about.

jks9199
05-03-2009, 08:09 PM
:lol:

Hmm .. mayhaps the fine gentlemen in his rush to comment might have overlooked the fact that all present are armed :D. There is little that is more dangerous to insult than a Western man, in a dress, in possession of a sword that he knows well how to use :eek:.
Nah, the weapons weren't overlooked. Just figured that you'd be tripping over your hems before I had to worry! :D

morph4me
05-03-2009, 08:15 PM
I tend not to mention the martial arts in casual conversation, if it comes up, the usual reaction I get is total surprise, and then the lame jokes or fear. I've learned not to pay much attention to it, and not to get dragged into conversations with people unless they are genuinely interested.

chinto
05-03-2009, 10:16 PM
no I can not say I have been judged in any way.. but then, I DO NOT tell people I train in martial arts at all.

I figure if I ever need it I will want it to be a very nasty surprise for that attacker, regardless of whom it may be!

Ken Morgan
05-03-2009, 11:48 PM
Even people who train are idiots sometimes. Mostly the kids who have been around only a few months. Most are cool with shutting up and learning, but some others….

I remember my Sensei and one of our senior’s attending a western sword class in a few years back, and there was this kid 18 years old or so who kept bragging that if you swung at his head with a bokken, he would catch it. The instructor said, “yeah ok, whatever, good for you”, and went back to teaching. This kid was so annoying and pestering that the instructor finally said ok lets try. No need to explain more, the kid ends up on the ground with a goose egg on his head, and never comes back.

Flea
05-04-2009, 12:33 AM
Maybe I've just been blessed with especially enlightened friends, but the reaction I get most of the time is "Wow, you do that? COOL!!" It seems like people respect me more for putting myself out there like that. I keep expecting to be asked to whack somebody or (worse) patronized, but nothing yet.

So if anyone has a troublesome rival to get rid of, let me know. I'm trying to buy a house ... :barf:

IcemanSK
05-04-2009, 01:34 PM
I've gotten a few odd comments over the years. I've not only trained in MA for more than 25 years, but I'm a seminary graduate & have been in several ministry positions in churches (including as a pastor) for a majority of my adult life. Those two things don't necessarily gel for a lot of folks.

Grenadier
05-04-2009, 02:31 PM
It's always being misjudged by people who would mock the arts, but then again, my situation is a bit different from your average US Citizen's.

Most importantly, I came from two Korean parents, so right away, such mockers are already going to be sending shrill, pitiful vocal imitations of Bruce Lee my way, regardless of whether I have (my teen or older years), or didn't have (my pre-teen and under years) any significant martial arts abilities.

BLACK LION
05-04-2009, 07:51 PM
Most of the animosity I have come across has been from other "martial artists" or "self defense" practitioners seeking to prove or disprove...
Most people outside of the "realm" seem mezmerized and perplexed by it and for the most part display some form of interest...even if its just watching or idle chatter... there are select bozos or "tough guys" that see a t-shirt or some practicing and assume its time to prove something to themselves or thier buddies but that comes with the trade...

Thems Fighting Words
05-05-2009, 03:16 AM
Well for a time certain individuals who I used to hang with (not really friends) thought I was a psycho like them because we all trained hard, took roids and enjoyed fighting. Though in reality I was and have always been a fairly decent guy and never suffered from Roid-rage like some people I've associated with.

Interestingly, depending on what job I'm applying for, I have been told by employment agencies not to put martial arts down (seen as confrontational) while at other times I've been told to include it (seen as character builder).

Stac3y
05-05-2009, 12:37 PM
I'm a brown belt in karate, and a librarian. Some people are dumbfounded when they hear that. Talk about warring stereotypes!

Sukerkin
05-05-2009, 01:51 PM
And I was a "Kung Fu Fightin'" museum curator :lol:.

seasoned
05-05-2009, 03:10 PM
When I was young I could get away with people knowing I practiced martial arts. But, at my current age I think they just scratch their heads and wonder, I think they do anyway, why isn't he retired, and in a rocking chair at home. The advantages for me are, if need be, I can beat up most people my age http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/images/icons/icon7.gif. The young ones figure why pick on a old guy, I get to draw a pass. Works for me because all I want to do is kata anyway.

Daniel Sullivan
05-05-2009, 03:48 PM
I often feel like Rurouni Kenshin in season two:

Kenshin has gone back to his master to learn the final technique of the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu (the Amakakeru Ryu Nohiromeki) and is followed by his friends, Kaoru, Yahiko, and Misao. When it comes out that Kenshin is 28 and his master, Seijuro Hiko, is 43, they bug out and yell,

"What is this Hiten Mitsurugi Style anyway? Some sort of fountain of youth?"

Pretty much everyone I know thinks that I looks almost twenty years younger than I am. People who I meet who find out that I am forty two initially think that I am lying. If I am with my kids, they often mistake me for an older brother.

Believe me, it is not a misjudgement that I mind one bit.:)

Daniel

Touch Of Death
05-05-2009, 04:04 PM
I took up the martial arts because I wanted to learn how to defend myself and because I enjoy working out. I have had this passion for 25 years. I no longer have the resources to take lessons, but I enjoy watching videos of different styles and am fascinated by the many different methods and flavors of executing the same techniques.

I am a peaceful person with a college degree who has never hurt anyone, and yet I feel that I have often been mislabeled in some way. I am someone that respects women and treats them with great esteem. I am the type of man that would not be intimidated by an equal or stronger woman, and welcomes their success and strength.

I am a martial artist and seek self-improvement. I don't study to learn to hurt anyone as I take no pleasure in causing anyone harm. I study because I don't want to be harmed. I don't bully, provoke, nor cause anyone mental distress.

Has anyone else been perceived as being violent, aggressive, etc. solely because they have an interest in the arts? I have no delusions of being Rambo or some commando. It is quite ironic, since I have never been in a fight. I even put spiders outside rather than killing them.The short answer is yes. I have been accused of being more violent than I am more than once. Oh well, everything has a price and a consequence.
Sean

Live True
05-05-2009, 05:22 PM
Maybe I've just been blessed with especially enlightened friends, but the reaction I get most of the time is "Wow, you do that? COOL!!" It seems like people respect me more for putting myself out there like that. I keep expecting to be asked to whack somebody or (worse) patronized, but nothing yet.

So if anyone has a troublesome rival to get rid of, let me know. I'm trying to buy a house ... :barf:
:lfao:

I'm fortunate that most of my friends think it's just another thing that I do, but I have some wonderfully odd and independent thinking friends who believe in learning and exploring life.

The strangest reactions come from coworkers and some of my family. I don't advertise my training, but it does come up from time to time. Most folks just widen thier eyes and grin...some ask questions and some comment that I don't look like a ninja. :duh: I guess being overweight and female throws them off a bit, but most folks deal. Now, when I tell them I'm a hockey fan, THAT gets some weird looks!

Interestingly, depending on what job I'm applying for, I have been told by employment agencies not to put martial arts down (seen as confrontational) while at other times I've been told to include it (seen as character builder).

funny story...I did mentioned my MA training during an interview, when they asked about how I deal with stress and conflict. I said that my karate training helped me deal with that effectively. (cue crickets and wide eyed stares). I then went on to say that it had taught me self control, focus, and centered calm, and that I was able to handle stress and conflict much better as a result....suddenly the light dawned and everyong laughed....I didn't get the job, but was because the position got cut due to the economy. I did make it to the last cut (3 folks) before the announcement to drop the position was made...so I don't think it affected my chances negatively.

Thems Fighting Words
05-05-2009, 07:59 PM
I'm a brown belt in karate, and a librarian. Some people are dumbfounded when they hear that. Talk about warring stereotypes!

And I was a "Kung Fu Fightin'" museum curator :lol:.

I wish I was better at remembering names but I do remember one UFC fight I watched on dvd where one of the fighters was a school teacher. Mind you Indiana Jones was a lecturer so....

Nomad
05-05-2009, 09:21 PM
The short answer is yes. I have been accused of being more violent than I am more than once. Oh well, everything has a price and a consequence.
Sean

When this happens, I just hit them... :angel:

morph4me
05-06-2009, 09:06 AM
When this happens, I just hit them... :angel:


Yeah, people who make unsubstantiated claims about others being violent deserve to be hit :uhyeah::lol:

MJS
05-06-2009, 09:14 AM
I took up the martial arts because I wanted to learn how to defend myself and because I enjoy working out. I have had this passion for 25 years. I no longer have the resources to take lessons, but I enjoy watching videos of different styles and am fascinated by the many different methods and flavors of executing the same techniques.

I am a peaceful person with a college degree who has never hurt anyone, and yet I feel that I have often been mislabeled in some way. I am someone that respects women and treats them with great esteem. I am the type of man that would not be intimidated by an equal or stronger woman, and welcomes their success and strength.

I am a martial artist and seek self-improvement. I don't study to learn to hurt anyone as I take no pleasure in causing anyone harm. I study because I don't want to be harmed. I don't bully, provoke, nor cause anyone mental distress.

Has anyone else been perceived as being violent, aggressive, etc. solely because they have an interest in the arts? I have no delusions of being Rambo or some commando. It is quite ironic, since I have never been in a fight. I even put spiders outside rather than killing them.

Yes, all the time, both in RL and on forums. Of course, I can understand the forum part, mainly due to the fact that viewing words, vs. hearing them, well, that is the #1 cause of the confusion. People read something, assume it means one thing, when it really doesnt. In RL, people constantly say or think that I'm a badass because I train. I chalk this up to them just being clueless about the arts in general.

What type of a person am I? I really try to do my best to get along with everyone. I have no issues with respect, however, I feel that its a 2 way street, and you got to give it to get it. I'm not a bully, I dont walk around and advertise or brag about training. Personally, training is something that I hate to talk about, especially with certain people. I will talk, but the person has to be sincere, otherwise, its not worth my time. I dont go looking for fights, and prefer to stay out of places that tend to breed that environment.

Why do I train? I train because I love it. There is so much out there to learn its really amazing. I plan to keep on training, until the day comes when I no longer can. I've been very fortunate to meet and train with many wonderful people. I've formed some great friendships with people, and I really do value all of that. I'm not interested in proving myself, entering the ring, etc., I train a) because as I said, I love to, and b) for sd purposes. Again, as I said, I don't look for fights. Training has given me alot especially when it comes to being more aware and having other alternatives to fighting. Now, this isn't to say that I won't fight, but I do try to look for another avenue to take before it comes to that. :)

Cirdan
05-06-2009, 10:24 AM
I am a MA freak, I don`t care if people misjudge me. They might be right in fact. :uhyeah:

Most however seem really interested if the suject comes up. While the general public knows little about what MA really are, I guess the media has portrayed the arts without too much silliness here in Norway.

Guardian
05-07-2009, 03:30 PM
I never thought about it too much. I'm a cop, so most folks consider the martial arts to be par for the course (though that's not accurate on their part as most cops aren't martial artists). It's actually the cop thing that the average person judges me by, not the martial arts part.


As SgtMac here, being in the military, most people never even gave it a thought (being on base, your in your own little city), being a military cop just added to that almost being ignored syndrome LOL.

Sensei Payne
05-08-2009, 09:17 AM
I really hate it when Friends make challenges for you.

Like, Oh well Scott's a Black Belt he can take you.

Gah its so frustrating...I guess cause my friends know I would never do that, and they do it as a joke or whatever...rarely is it funny for me...but I usually have to defuse.

qwksilver61
05-09-2009, 10:47 AM
Yup.....challenges,what if I do this....or this? what do I need Kung Fu for? all I have to do is shoot! someone at work leaked out some info,so now the young bucks at work want a piece of the action. Oh course, everyone assumes you are a master and are superhuman.....Oy Veh!

Kacey
05-09-2009, 12:30 PM
Welcome to MT!

I used to get asked the question "Can you beat up____?" Just insert any random person's name in there. I also had some people do a "mock" karate kid crane pose around me or do a mock kata.

I found that some people think I'm a killing machine, some people think what I do is a joke, some people think what I do is cultish for some reason, and rarely I get a person's respect for it. Which gives me some hope for the future.

I've gotten that one too - along with various friends introducing me as their bodyguard (funny now, but not at the time).

I quit telling the middle school students I teach about it because I got tired of being asked if I could break a desk - my stock response was "I don't know - do you have $80?" which worked until one kid offered to come up with it. Bearing in mind that these are typical school desks, made of inch-thick particle board, covered with laminate, and supported by a metal bar... not even going to think about trying it. But a few coworkers who've seen me train think they know why I have so few behavior problems in my classes - they're wrong about the reason, right about the source, as it's nothing physical; I treat my middle school students with the same respect as my TKD students, and it comes back from both groups.

Balrog
06-04-2009, 03:48 AM
I am a martial artist and seek self-improvement. I don't study to learn to hurt anyone as I take no pleasure in causing anyone harm. I study because I don't want to be harmed. I don't bully, provoke, nor cause anyone mental distress.

Has anyone else been perceived as being violent, aggressive, etc. solely because they have an interest in the arts?
I get really sick and tired of people who think it's funny, when they find out that I am a martial artist, to say something like, "Oh, don't hit me" or "I better not mess with you, you'll kick my butt".

It gets really old.