Grappling

[Aniela13]

Hey all...I'm looking for some advice from any ladies who take grappling/jitsu/etc type classes.

My karate instructor offers a ju-jitsu class that I'd like to start taking this summer for a few reasons; one, grappling fascinates me, and two, I'm pretty small, and have no illusions about the fact that, if an attacker gets me on the ground and I don't know anything about grappling, I'm done for. The thing is, the class at present is completely male.

I'm okay with that--after all, odds are greatly in favor of any attacker also being male. But after mentioning my desire to start this class, a number of my friends (both outside and inside the dojo, though moreso outside) have expressed concern about the "potential awkwardness" of the situation. I know at least two of the guys in the class, plus the instructor, and know I'm comfortable enough with at least those few to work with them...and am still planning to start the class as soon as I can afford it.

I guess my question is this...do any of you face opposition or concern from others regarding your grappling/jitsu-type classes? And if you do, how do you respond graciously? It's not that I don't appreciate their concern, or recognize that it's at least partly founded...but I am having difficulty explaining, especially to the ones outside the dojo, that (particularly with my instructor) there's a level of respect and a point where we simply know that inappropriate things will not happen.

Any advice? :) Thanks, all!

~Ani

[Tez3]

It never fails to amaze me that people assume that you put a man and a woman in a room together and wham they are going to be doing something 'inappropriate'! no matter what the circumstances!
Trust me, when grappling with a man or anyone for that matter the last thing anyone thinks of is 'inappropriate' behaviour, you'll be thinking, ah how do I get out of this,if I move my arm here can I do this, I'd better move my arm or I'll get caught in an arm bar etc etc.
Knowledge of someone and respect doesn't come into it as far as thats concerned, it's a given where training partners are concerned whether they are friends or not.
If there's awkwardness it can occur between two men or two women grappling as well, the best thing is to bannish all thoughts of anything other than the fact you are training.
It actually annoys me that some people can find sexual connotations in grappling when there isn't the slightest hint of any sexual behaviour in it. I and a few women I know can actually grapple with their partners without any sexual content, in fact it turns into competitiveness lol!
I've come across no oppositition or concern from anyone about grappling, my friends and family simply don't think that way.

[Carol]

Hasn't been an issue. The only folks that have ever said inappropriate comments to me have been other MAists that thought they were being cute.

[terryl965]

Do whatyou want to it is a new century and all, just for reference do you really care what anybody thinks.

[Dagney Taggert]

I have been practicing BJJ for four years. Not one awkward moment, and I am one of three females at my school. If you present yourself as a serious dedicated student, you will receive the same in return.

[arnisador]

I've grappled women, and I send my 15 y.o. daughter to BJJ classes. Incidental contact can and does happen, and clothes sometimes become loosened while grappling. But to me it's like having a female physician--not a problem as it's simply not a sexual situation.

[Grendel308]

Ani13 I would suggest you put it just that way, the level of respect for you, the instructor and the sport is too high for anything inappropriate to happen. For anyone to try anything is a grave insult to all students, the sport and the instructor. Anyone who is that close to a Darwin award will not last too long in a BJJ or grappling class in any case, "too dumb to live" comes to mind.
Mind you these are at very good places, with very good instructors who do it for the love of the sport not as a cash-cow.
lori

[morph4me]

Ani, I've grappled with women, and I can tell you that it's never been an issue. If people are concerend with "potential awkwardness" it's their misconception and their problem. Don't let them give it to you. Aproach it like your other training, enjoy it and learn as much as you can. Good luck.

[Dave Leverich]

We have a couple of women who train at the MMA gym I'm at and the only issue I have with grappling with them is a size/weight issue. I obviously still work with them, but I'm cognizant of the weight difference when doing techniques as I would be with a smaller man.

I think the awkwardness comes because it's a new thing, and the positions do appear sexual if you haven't done them before. I know my wife just started giggling when I pulled guard on her, of course then our kids tackled us and my attempt to show her a kimura from the bottom was out the window heh.

I've trained in martial arts since 85, in quite a few arts, and the first one for my daughter and son will likely be BJJ. Quite simply, it teaches them to not be afraid while giving them the ability to neutralize an opponent in a manner they choose. Obviously I won't stop with BJJ, but that is one of the first ones for them.

To the OP, go for it. If there's someone who's being inappropriate, let them know right away (it might be something that you feel isn't appropriate but is part of grappling, or it could be something they're trying to 'pull'), and speak with the person running it about your concerns.

[IcemanSK]

I don't mean to be insensitive to your concerns, but I have agree with Tez3 on this. I understand that it might be something that folks outside of MA might think, "Oh, I'll bet there's something fishy going on while they're grappling." But not folks inside of MA. MA is your thing. I'm sure you've been punched, kicked & tossed around in class...and I'm sure you've done your share of the punching, kicking & tossing around as well. You're not there to look cute in your uniform. Right?

A grappling class is the same. Folks are there to train seriously with a serious partner. Besides, Judo Gis aren't exactly what most people think of when they think of "attractive" clothing items.

Moving into a new Art can be scary. You're not sure what to expect. It's understandable. Inappropriate behavior probably isn't something you'll need to worry about. You know the instructor & several training partners already. If they have been inappropriate in the past, there's no reason expect it in a grappling setting.

Enjoy this new part of your MA journey.

[Tensei85]

I agree, I used to be the Asst. Instructor for BJJ at a College.

And the ratio of men to women was probably 60-40 so it was relatively even considering.

And despite what people think or say, we all had mutual respect for each other over a short period of time. The only problem was the guys in a lot of circumstances completely under estimated the ladies in BJJ in the beginning. So the girls would submit the guys faster than they could react and illiminate any thoughts of "oh I have to take it easy because shes a chick" type of sexist talk.

So I would say go for it! Its invaluable training to be experienced.