Misc Stories

[Drac]

Sometimes we get the bad guys without any effort because they are STUPID..Got called for a lockout in the township..Arrived at the house and was met by a very pretty girl who pointed out the vehicle and said it was her boyfriend's, and he'd be right out..So I run the plate for owners info and BINGO, Felony Warrant..He comes out and gets arrested..

[Brian R. VanCise]

Sometimes we get the bad guys without any effort because they are STUPID..Got called for a lockout in the township..Arrived at the house and was met by a very pretty girl who pointed out the vehicle and said it was her boyfriend's, and he's be right out..So I run the plate for owners info and BINGO, Felony Warrant..He comes out and gets arrested..

It is amazing how that happens! http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/images/icons/icon6.gif

[Lisa]

Did he look at you in disbelief that he got caught? :lol2:

[exile]

Darwin Award time for that guy! :lol:

[jks9199]

You mean like the kids who tagged up some playground equipment... Pissed the rec department head off majorly, so it became a priority case.

Didn't take long to solve, either.

They signed their own names!

[tshadowchaser]

Hope that first young man remembered to thank his girlfriend for calling LOL

AAHH yes, tagging with your own name or initials … not always the brightest thing to do

[Drac]

Did he look at you in disbelief that he got caught? :lol2:

A little..His girlfriends Father was a little more upset that the..Telling me that it was eronious information...I told him that eronious or not the PC says take him and that's that...In case anyone asks, yes I opened the cars as originaly reqested..

[Drac]

You mean like the kids who tagged up some playground equipment... Pissed the rec department head off majorly, so it became a priority case.

Didn't take long to solve, either.

They signed their own names!

Jeeze, real bright people..

[MA-Caver]

Did he look at you in disbelief that he got caught? :lol2:
A little..His girlfriends Father was a little more upset that the..Telling me that it was erroneous information...I told him that erroneous or not the PC says take him and that's that...In case anyone asks, yes I opened the cars as originally requested..

I'd think he'd be upset at his girlfriend calling the cops. A locksmith maybe but not the cops. Either she wasn't thinking or she didn't KNOW that he had a felony warrant.

[Drac]

We in LE will always have work because of the mentality of the criminals...Now, if you know your not payiing child support and you never showed up in court for your last ticket and you know your license expired..Why would you get in your car and fire up your ground shaker sound system with some God awful rap music and go joy riding??? Don't they know that's a " Come and Get Me" invite???

[CoryKS]

LOL. Next time, join AAA. They'll unlock your car for you without all that pesky background checking. ;)

[Xue Sheng]

Back in my security days a drunken woman came into the ER and was basically screaming about how bad the service was and how she needed help. When they asked her to fill out the forms she realized she left all of her info on the table in her house and she decided to go back and get it but had no car and no money for the cab (she got there via a drop off that left). A deputy was in the ER and offered to take her back to her house and retrieve the info. He came back MUCH later without her.

Apparently all the way to her house she was telling the Deputy about the pot she grew in her kitchen to which he repeatedly told her “You don’t want to tell me about this” eventually she got the hint and stopped. When they arrived at the house she invited him in to which he said “you really do not want me in your house” she insisted, he went in and sitting on the kitchen table directly in front of him were several potted marijuana plants.

She was arrested.

One more and I will stop

A car parked in the front parking lot of the hospital (at 2:00 am) I was working at it was not running but there was a guy in it drinking beer and he had a multitude of empties all around the inside of the car.

A State Police Officer happened to be in the ER decided to go take a look the guy got out and repeated the mantra “You can’t arrest me, I’m not driving” to every single question he was asked except one. The SP asked how did you get here to which the guy responded "I drove" to which the SP said “You’re under arrest”

[Drac]

LOL. Next time, join AAA. They'll unlock your car for you without all that pesky background checking. ;)

Yes if ya wanna wait for an hour of more, most agencies that still do lockouts response time is 5-10 minutes...I now carry my lockout kit in my POV and have helped out many that were till waiting for AAA once they agree that I am not responsible for damages...

[kyosa]

One of my favorite quotes is "stupidity should be painfull." I can't tell you how many times in 21 + years of law enforcement I have run into stupid people but it is in the thousands and maybe tens of thousands. I have arrested at least 3 people who came to pick up a drunk driver from our Sheriff's Dept who needed a sober adult and were told they would be tested before they could take responsibility for that person. So you're drunk and you drove to the Law Enforcement Center to pick up a drunk driver already arrested for DWI and you were told you would be tested before you could take responsibility for them? Then you admit you drove your car even? Wow-stupidity should be painful. Now you both need a sober adult to take responsibility for you! sadly, thats just the start of the stories.

[MA-Caver]

AAHH yes, tagging with your own name or initials … not always the brightest thing to do
Well! How else are they going to prove to their friends that they did it? Huh? HUH?

Yeah thought so.


DUH!!

Dumb criminals do make reading fun.

Same with that bunch of kids trashing a series of vending machines and cars in an underground parking lot... they got busted... well of COURSE they got busted... they videoed themselves doing it!

[Cryozombie]

Sometimes we get the bad guys without any effort because they are STUPID..Got called for a lockout in the township..Arrived at the house and was met by a very pretty girl who pointed out the vehicle and said it was her boyfriend's, and he'd be right out..So I run the plate for owners info and BINGO, Felony Warrant..He comes out and gets arrested..

I saw somthing like this once... We were standing at the edge of a parade route waiting for the parade to start, and a guy in a car pulls up to a cop standing there and asked where he could park... the cop looked in the window, and said somthing to the effect of, "right here because you are going to jail"... He recognized the guy as someone with a suspended licence.

[Drac]

I saw somthing like this once... We were standing at the edge of a parade route waiting for the parade to start, and a guy in a car pulls up to a cop standing there and asked where he could park... the cop looked in the window, and said somthing to the effect of, "right here because you are going to jail"... He recognized the guy as someone with a suspended licence.

Yep, it happens...We responded to a fire alarm once cause we here in the vicinity and to help direct traffic..Sure enough my partner spots a female that had numerous warrants as she is standing there watching the firefighters...

[jks9199]

I'll steal a story from a colleague...

Seems he comes across this driver one day who was absolutely convinced that the FBI was following her, marking her tires, and monitoring her movements.

Uh... Yeah, actually they were! She was wanted for a string of bank robberies!

[Drac]

I'll steal a story from a colleague...

Seems he comes across this driver one day who was absolutely convinced that the FBI was following her, marking her tires, and monitoring her movements.

Uh... Yeah, actually they were! She was wanted for a string of bank robberies!

Now THAT'S funny....

[Drac]

Here is one from my pre-LEO days but its worth retelling...I applied for a job driving the Wells-Fargo Armored Trucks..The branch manager told us that when checking the backrounds on the applicants one came up with a hit by the FBI for bank robbery...He contacted the field office and they said to call him back for a 2nd interview..When he showed up the Feds snatched him, his comment was " I didnt think you'd find out"...

[Drac]

LEO's are NOT perfect...On Sat I worked for the first time since being injuried...We get a 911 call from a resident saying she heard glass breaking and believes that someone is attempting to enter her apt...We respond Priority One ( lights and sirens) until we are about 2 blocks away and then we kill all the lights..We check the windows and doors for signs of breakage or forced entry, nothing..The residents let us in and the door and windows are intact..As we are leaving the resident calls " I've found it"..There in the laundry room is a glass globe from an overhead light that fell, we walked right by it as did the residents....

[Bill Mattocks]

I was dispatching in the call center one night and we got a couple complaints on a party going on at a city park after curfew. We sent an agent, who asked for another car, and then another - something like 100 teenagers who didn't do the usual and disperse when the marked units showed up. So one by one, they started cuffing and stuffing the loudest of the loudmouths.

Someone got into the front seat of one of the marked units and grabbed the mike.

"This is cobra commander, cobra commander, the Eagle has landed, over," he shouted into the mike.

Then silence.

Then...

"Unit 112 has traffic."

"Unit 112, send your traffic."

"Unit 112, I'll be enroute the station with one cobra commander. Have a medic meet me at the sally port, the eagle landed kind of funny on this bony kid."

"Unit 112, roger."

[Drac]

I was dispatching in the call center one night and we got a couple complaints on a party going on at a city park after curfew. We sent an agent, who asked for another car, and then another - something like 100 teenagers who didn't do the usual and disperse when the marked units showed up. So one by one, they started cuffing and stuffing the loudest of the loudmouths.

Someone got into the front seat of one of the marked units and grabbed the mike.

"This is cobra commander, cobra commander, the Eagle has landed, over," he shouted into the mike.

Then silence.


Then...

"Unit 112 has traffic."

"Unit 112, send your traffic."

"Unit 112, I'll be enroute the station with one cobra commander. Have a medic meet me at the sally port, the eagle landed kind of funny on this bony kid."

"Unit 112, roger."

LOL..WOW, how stupid could someone be??? Wait a tick...Last Summmer at the scene of a large fight in progress one of the suspects fled and did a double back and got into one of the cruisers and took off..He only went about a block and figured it wasnt worth it and bailed after putting the cruiser in park...Attempted GTMV of a police vehicle?? I want the movie right to that one...

[Bill Mattocks]

Detox...always good for a laugh...

Jefferson county detox, a great place to sleep it off. Beats being processed and booked for PI, they charge you a small fee (based on income) for the night's stay and a breakfast in the morning, and after you pass a Breathalyzer, you're free to go. It's more or less voluntary - passive drunks are offered the choice between detox and jail. Most choose detox, but some insist on jail because they're drunk and passive and stupid.

One guy didn't know there are video cameras in every room. Put on quite a show for the volunteer staff nurses. Self-abuse, yes, but very imaginative. On all fours, on his back, up against the wall, moaning, yelling, spanking his imaginary partner, etc. You would not have thought someone that drunk could be so ... energetic.

One night, a very, very, tall native american male was brought in. He was full-blood, had long black braided hair, the works. Something like 7 feet tall, I mean tall.

So he decides to bust out after a couple hours. The detox center had long since removed the bars from the windows, because people kept trying to throw chairs through them, and it's not a detention facility, so they had taken the bars off and made sure the windows went up and down (all on the first floor). So this guy opens the windows and jumps out and runs away. Again, not that uncommon.

Oh, and I should mention - when you check into detox, they take away your civvies and give you a fuzzy bathrobe to wear.

So here was the radio traffic.

"All units, be advised, BOLO for one native american male, 30 years of age, seven feet tall, straight long black hair to his waist in braids, wearing a bathrobe. Last seen on foot leaving Jeffco detox."

Silence.

"Unit 112. What color was the bathrobe?"

Silence.

"Unit 112, stand by."

Mikes started clicking like crazy. That's how the police in that jurisdiction signaled laughter on the radio.

"Unit 112"

"Unit 112"

"Unit 112, detox advises the bathrobe was blue."

"Unit 112, ah, disregard then. Thought I had traffic, but this guy's bathrobe was distinctly red."

Mike clicked nonstop for the next ten minutes. Nobody got any work done. The shift commander finally had to order a 10-3 of the net to get everybody settled down.

[Drac]

Our old portables and mobiles had no ID on them..Laugther and strange sounds were common place...Well the uniform Commander came to roll call one day and showed us the NEW portables..." This is the new Saber radio the dept just purchased", he said.."Those of you that like to burp, moan and fart over the air your days of being anonymous are over", he continued..I looked over at my sometimes partner Daryll and said in my best Betelgeuse voice "Ruined your good time didn't it"...The look of horror crossed is face as he said "Drac, Im gonna kill you"...

When went to sign a portable he took an old one..The Commander said " Here Daryll, take a new one".."Oh Sir, I'm not really worthy, he answered.."JUST TAKE IT", was his response...I heard about it for the rest of the shift...

[Bill Mattocks]

When went to sign a portable he took an old one..The Commander said " Here Daryll, take a new one".."Oh Sir, I'm not really worthy, he answered.."JUST TAKE IT", was his response...I heard about it for the rest of the shift...

We had the Mysterious Flusher. How he managed to always be near a bathroom when the WC was talking, so he could add his 'comment' at the end of every one of her speeches, I do not know.

I know I was suspected for period of time, until one night she was standing right next to me as she spoke - and she still got 'the flush' at the end of it.

[Drac]

Self abusers are always good for a laugh..Took a intox in one night that had warrants and stuck him in a holding cell...They were real busy so I had to wait to process him..Meanwhile the vice squad shows up with there charges.. One is a female about 16-17 and drop dead beautiful..The suspect sees that and starts his act and this non stop chat of " Aint you pretty, aint your pretty"..I tell the head jailer who opens the holding cell while removing a wicked looking buck knife and saying "Whatever is sticking out is coming off"..Use your imagination for what followed...

[Xue Sheng]

Self abusers are always good for a laugh..Took a intox in one night that had warrants and stuck him in a holding cell...They were real busy so I had to wait to process him..Meanwhile the vice squad shows up with there charges.. One is a female about 16-17 and drop dead beautiful..The suspect sees that and starts his act and this non stop chat of " Aint you pretty, aint your pretty"..I tell the head jailer who opens the holding cell will removing a wicked looking buck knife and saying "Whatever is sticking out is coming off"..Use your imagination for what followed...

I don't know why but this reminded me of a story from my Hospital security days

A prisoner at the county lockup was complaining his balls hurt so they took him to the hospital ER. They ran all sorts of tests and he was continually screaming about his Balls but after multiple tests the MD told the CO (corrections office) that he couldn’t find anything. The CO did not know what to do and was going to call to see what the sheriff wanted when the MD said wait a minute. And had the CO come with him and stand just out side the curtain and they started talking about the same thing all over again; the prisoners pain and all the tests except this time the MD told the CO that after all the tests there was only one thing that they could do…. And that was to amputate his gonads… to which the CO said “You mean REMOVE his BALLS” the MDs answer “Yup”

It was then a miracle happened the prisoner poked his head out of the curtain and said the pain seems to have gone away and the CO returned him the county lockup

[Bikewr]

I got a house burglary one winter, right after a heavy snow. Tracks led from the back door into the "common ground" area of the subdivision. I figured the tracks would just lead to the next cul-de-sac and end at where a car had been parked....
But no, my brain-trust young burglars had walked directly home. I walked into the garage where they were busily examining their "loot"....

Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett would have been appalled.

[Drac]

I got a house burglary one winter, right after a heavy snow. Tracks led from the back door into the "common ground" area of the subdivision. I figured the tracks would just lead to the next cul-de-sac and end at where a car had been parked....
But no, my brain-trust young burglars had walked directly home. I walked into the garage where they were busily examining their "loot"....

Daniel Boone and Davy Crockett would have been appalled.


A young punk walked into the local pawnshop with a Gibson Stratocaster worth about $5,000.00 or so I'm told..He told the owner he only wanted $100.00 so he said he had a buyer that would pay a lot more if he could wait, the kid was over joyed.Guess who he called?..A search of his vehicle yeilded more stolen items taken from a private home the night before...

[Xue Sheng]

A guy walked into a local Stewarts Shoppe and claimed to have the winning NYS lottery ticket. The clerk took it and asked them to wait there they had to run it through the machine in the back....guess who they called?

The LEO was a friend of mine and when he showed up the guy was still there waiting. When the clerk came out he handed him the ticket. You could see the place the number was cut out and other numbers form other tickets were taped in with scotch tape.... they didn't even fit together well.

[Drac]

When I was a motor cop for the Authority I happend upon a very pretty girl waiting at train station..She bumed a smoke from me and we chatted.I asked if she was a model she was that pretty..She was an airline stewardess whose luggage was lost, she had her employee ID on her but no clothes..

I offered to put her on a train to the airport but as she explained she was waiting for her boyfriend and if she went back there she would have no way to let him know that ( this is BEFORE cell phones).The boyfriend was at his Mom's and Mom disliked her and if she called there she probably wouldn't call him to the phone..

I checked on her throughout my shift and before going off duty I bought her a pack of smokes and a Diet Coke..I asked the undercover van that was on the car theft detail in the lot to keep an eye one her..They called me and said about an hour later and said her boyfriend finally showed up in a Vette, and as they drove away she was smacking the crap outta him...

[Rich Parsons]

I was working security for a place and it was afternoon and this guy walks in very high and scaring the customers. I ask him to leave. He just stare's at me and has no clue of what he is doing or where he is at.

I call the local police and the show up. The guy sees the police and runs to the back door. It was locked, and he ran into it and then just fell like a board to the floor. After a second or two he gets up and and goes and stands by some people. The Lock on the door was a twist lock and could have been opened if he knew what was going on.


I talk to the police officer and he goes down and talks the drugged up guy. The officer gets him moving towards the door, with some verbal exchanges. Once outside the guy and the officer start to wrestle. I step outside as the officer and the drugged guy are rolling around. The officer screams. He had been bitten. I asked if he needed help. He replied,
"No, I got it." I continue to watch. I ask again, "I can use your radio and call for help, or go use the phone and call for back up. How can I help?" (* Mind you had yelped a couple of times as he had been bitten multiple times. *) The officer ignored me. I asked a third time, and he said, "Yea, come over here and help me with this guy."

Eventually after much rolling and pulling the bad guys hands off of the officers firearm, the officer was able to break free and call on his portable radio for officer needs help. We then rolled with this guy until back up arrived. As the cars came into the parking lot we were rolling around in, the first missed my head by inches. I let go of the bad guy and rolled into the fetal position and did not move. I was yelling, "I was helping the officer by his request." over and over. The officer I was helping was given some help, and the officers showing up were not as concerned for with the safety of the bad guy. The officer I was helping told the others that I was helping him. I staid on my side in the fetal position not moving until all officers present had been informed of my status.

Sometimes people need help.

[Drac]

Sometimes people need help.

Yes..Thanks for offering a helping hand...

[Drac]

The warm weather always brings more noise complaints, usually on Friday nights when most of the work force has Sat off..Well around Midnight I respond to a noise call..Upon arrival I find 4 people in an attached playing Jenga and there is a bottle of Jagermeister on the table..

According to the homeowner if you knock the stack down, ya gotta do a shot.. Based on the condition of the pretty girl that wanted me to handcuff her she lost the most..I told them to just close the garage door and party on..They were still at it at 2 AM...Ahhhh youth...

[Brian R. VanCise]

The warm weather always brings more noise complaints, usually on Friday nights when most of the work force has Sat off..Well around Midnight I respond to a noise call..Upon arrival I find 4 people in an attached playing Jenga and there is a bottle of Jagermeister on the table..

According to the homeowner if you knock the stack down, ya gotta do a shot.. Based on the condition of the pretty girl that wanted me to handcuff her she lost the most..I told them to just close the garage door and party on..They were still at it at 2 AM...Ahhhh youth...

Yes Drac as we both know the warm weather brings the freaks out! http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/images/icons/icon6.gif

[Xue Sheng]

Yes Drac as we both know the warm weather brings the freaks out! http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/images/icons/icon6.gif

I can concur, back in my security days the warm weather brought out some amazing things.

We had a rather inebriated man appear at the ER door and insist he needed help.....his complaint...."He was dead". The local PD came and search him and found a 1/2 empty bottle of Tabasco sauce in his pocket. When asked why he had it his response was it was so hot outside he needed it for the fluid.

Another one is way to long to type but suffice to say he claimed to have turned into a giant Baby Huey type thing.

[Drac]

Yes Drac as we both know the warm weather brings the freaks out! http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/images/icons/icon6.gif

And this is JUST the beginning..The 4th of July approaches and that brings more calls than we can handle..I wish Ohio would repeal that fireworks ban and save us the headache...

[Rich Parsons]

And this is JUST the beginning..The 4th of July approaches and that brings more calls than we can handle..I wish Ohio would repeal that fireworks ban and save us the headache...


I am happy when it is JUST fire works and not some type of Fire Arm being shot into the air.


I also noted that in the fall when the first chill begins, and the levels of testosterone (* which is one of the reasons why Football is played in the fall *) one also sees an increase confrontations.

[sgtmac_46]

Sometimes we get the bad guys without any effort because they are STUPID..Got called for a lockout in the township..Arrived at the house and was met by a very pretty girl who pointed out the vehicle and said it was her boyfriend's, and he'd be right out..So I run the plate for owners info and BINGO, Felony Warrant..He comes out and gets arrested..

Several years back (when we still did vehicle lockouts) I got called to an apartment complex. Guy filled out the release. I stuck the slim jim in the door, and looked down at the lock.......and my gaze moved to the hand well depression on the inside of the door......the part you grab to shut the door.......and what do I see but a small baggie of powdery substance (which based on my training and experience appeared to be methamphetamines)...........I got the door opened, reached in and secured the baggie, which field tested positive FOR......YOU GUESSED IT!

Felony DUMB!

[Drac]

Well this 4th of July two homeowners were cited for illegal fireworks...I warned them first and told them they would be cited if we returned..The Lt was working and had me return to the residence to confirm that this was the person I warned..One male that stood there and listed while I made my friendly speech to a group of residents about " Yeah its a stupid law, BUT IT"S THE LAW" claimed that he thought I was talking to his neighbors...Sheesh!!!!!

[Drac]

Sometimes non-LEO's wonder why some of us seem to be so short tempered..A tractor trailer strikes a utility pole causing the wires to hang very low, these wires are live...I get the call to close off the road..So I postion my cruiser in the middle of the road..I turn on all the red and blue blinkie lights and am standing out in the road with my police vest on..Ya wanna guess how many cars rolled up to my cruiser and asked "Is the road closed?"...

[jks9199]

At least 20...

And at least 2/3 of them said something along the lines of "but I gotta go down there because it's the only way I know to go home!" despite there being a simple, 3 block work around available...

Every year, the jurisdiction I work in closes down one road for a parade. Every year, we put out signs weeks in advance. It's announced on the radio & TV. We actually direct traffic along the detour route. Every year, we get plenty of people who can't figure out what to do when they're detoured off the road...

[Drac]

20 is a good guess..I mean it was a bright and sunny day and the shade of a large tree made the emergency lights more visable..I am wearing one of those Gawd awful green and blue vests that say POLICE...Just beyond you could see the Yellow Lights of the power company trucks...


At least 20...

And at least 2/3 of them said something along the lines of "but I gotta go down there because it's the only way I know to go home!" despite there being a simple, 3 block work around available...

Every year, the jurisdiction I work in closes down one road for a parade. Every year, we put out signs weeks in advance. It's announced on the radio & TV. We actually direct traffic along the detour route. Every year, we get plenty of people who can't figure out what to do when they're detoured off the road...

[jks9199]

Just a fun one...

One recent night, we hit the streets to show some of our unit's special version of TLC to a neighborhood. Along the way, we roll up on a parking lot because we've noticed an occupied car there... Two of our guys walk up on one car, one cop on each side of the car... and hit it with their flashlights. Just in time to see the driver lower the marijuana pipe from his lips, and exhale.:eek: :ubercool:

[Big Don]

Just a fun one...

One recent night, we hit the streets to show some of our unit's special version of TLC to a neighborhood. Along the way, we roll up on a parking lot because we've noticed an occupied car there... Two of our guys walk up on one car, one cop on each side of the car... and hit it with their flashlights. Just in time to see the driver lower the marijuana pipe from his lips, and exhale.:eek: :ubercool:
You should hide near a Taco Bell during graveyard... Every night I saw people blitzed or smoking dope and driving...

[Drac]

This is to funny not to share....OK, wife is outta town and I work a busy 6p-12a shift..I crawl into bed and am awakened by VOICES coming from downstairs around 1am..Now the cats have not learned to talk and I know that the doors are locked and bolted..I pull out the Sig and my combat light and slowly creep downstairs..By the sound I know that the voices are coming from the kitchen..I swing around the bottom of the stairs where I still have cover if needed and I light up the room with the combat light...Ya wanna take a guess??? Seems I left my portable on the kitchen table and didnt bother to check if I turned it off when I went upstairs for the night...Feeling like a total ******* I went back to bed..

[jks9199]

This is to funny not to share....OK, wife is outta town and I work a busy 6p-12a shift..I crawl into bed and am awakened by VOICES coming from downstairs around 1am..Now the cats have not learned to talk and I know that the doors are locked and bolted..I pull out the Sig and my combat light and slowly creep downstairs..By the sound I know that the voices are coming from the kitchen..I swing around the bottom of the stairs where I still have cover if needed and I light up the room with the combat light...Ya wanna take a guess??? Seems I left my portable on the kitchen table and didnt bother to check if I turned it off when I went upstairs for the night...Feeling like a total ******* I went back to bed..
Done that one myself...

That and unknowingly left a TV or radio on somewhere...

[Big Don]

This is to funny not to share....OK, wife is outta town and I work a busy 6p-12a shift..I crawl into bed and am awakened by VOICES coming from downstairs around 1am..Now the cats have not learned to talk and I know that the doors are locked and bolted..I pull out the Sig and my combat light and slowly creep downstairs..By the sound I know that the voices are coming from the kitchen..I swing around the bottom of the stairs where I still have cover if needed and I light up the room with the combat light...Ya wanna take a guess??? Seems I left my portable on the kitchen table and didnt bother to check if I turned it off when I went upstairs for the night...Feeling like a total ******* I went back to bed..
That reminds me of this:
About 10 years ago I was out at a buddy's house in the country, we were leaving about 9 pm to go bar hopping and we saw the cherry of a cigarette in the distance, about where my car was parked.
I said "we forgot to take those videos back" and we went quickly, but, calmly back into the house, at which point we sprinted through the house grabbed a shot gun and Paul's 44 and headed back outside. We walked calmly towards the smoking intruder until we were about 100 feet away, then we raised our weapons and charged.


That's when we saw him

Damn near shot him

John Deere...

Yeah, some idiot left the key in the tractor in the on position, what we had seen was the indicator light...

[Drac]

Happening upon lovers is still worth a laugh..I see a car parked way in the back of a secluded lot reserved for those using the bike and hike path..I roll in dark and the car looks abandoned, taking no chances I hit the takedowns and the spot..Suddenly the cars rear seat is a flurry of activity.

.I see female naked body and turn off the lights..The male thanks me for dousing the light..After confirming age and ID of both parties( the female looked 16) I say "Go get a motel room".."Naw", was the males response." I think we are done for the night"...Ya think?

[Xue Sheng]

I ran into a similar situation while in Hospital security but the people in the car were both 18.

When I hit the car with teh lights they made it out of the back seat and into the front seat faster than I ever thought possible.

I also told them to go get a room and the guy who was now in the drivers seat said thank you sir and drove off... it was then a I realized he was completely naked and she was only covered by a towel and they were now off the property and driving down a main road.

[Drac]

I was reminded about one of my best traffic stops..Its about 10pm and I hear the sound of those tricked out little cars coming up the street..I douse all the lights of my cruiser...The lead car had a sunroof and standing up in the passeger seat so her upper torse is visible to the vehicle behind is a girl that made Lynda Carter look like a boy...She is wearing the sheerist blouse I have ever seen and no bra, she is rubbing her chest and yelling to the girls in the vehicle behind her vehicle " I want your body", I want your f bomb-ing body..I pull the lead car over and watch in amusement as she now tries to hid her chest while she digs in her purse for her ID..I give them a warning...

[Drac]

From one of the most embarassing things that happened to me while on duty dept:

I get a call to respond to a local residence. A male has passed out, he is unconcious but breathing. I arrive at the residence grab the oxygen tank and AED, I can hear the squads siren coming up the street. I trot toward the house and duck under the tree branch and run into another hidden in its shadow that strikes me just above the eyebrows and I go down..

Now the squad arrives and runs to my side, they broadcast they have an officer down. The Sgt who is at lunch hears this and wonders why no one told him it was one of his boys. I manage to push the EMT's off me and tell them to go to the house, and let the Sgt know that I am all right.

The male required far more medical attention than I could have rendered, the squad revived him and transported..