Hi ladies,

When I started training, I worked really hard to be accepted by the men in class. We have a mixed-level class and not everyone wants to work with me, which is fine by me, I'm not ready for some of those guys :)

My concern is that I'm picking up some bad habits from the guys (like being aggressive and "challenging" an attacker). The women I occasionally train with are much smaller than me and I'm worried about hurting them. (Plus they don't usually stick around long enough to get better.)

Any insights/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!
Janice

My concern is that I'm picking up some bad habits from the guys (like being aggressive and "challenging" an attacker).

is That REALLY bad??
wow here most of guys hav problems in picking up those habbits
-TkdWarrior-

well if the other women picked those habits up there wouldn't be a problem would there? hmm... maybe this is just a male perspective considering the only two posts were by men. :-p

Originally posted by TheLady
Hi ladies,

When I started training, I worked really hard to be accepted by the men in class. We have a mixed-level class and not everyone wants to work with me, which is fine by me, I'm not ready for some of those guys :)

My concern is that I'm picking up some bad habits from the guys (like being aggressive and "challenging" an attacker). The women I occasionally train with are much smaller than me and I'm worried about hurting them. (Plus they don't usually stick around long enough to get better.)

Any insights/suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!
Janice

I think being aggressive is a fine thing Janice.. absolutely.. and I'm not quite sure what you mean when you're saying you're challenging an attacker.. but the issue of potential harm to smaller women you train with.. does need to be dealt with and only you can do that.. one word CONTROL ... In our School we use the adage.. 'Speed and Technique Equal Power' There is absolutely no need to inflict pain on each other during training.. sure accidents do happen.. we all are going to get hurt.. I brought my knee up into my sparring partners nose.. bloodied it .. he set me up for a move. .and he didn't gauge something in time and well my tec worked. his didn't .. when I'm sparring or working a tec with other women.... (I'm very powerful which I know.. and they know) but I use simplistic control.. I know I can out hit them.. power wise.. and even just a grab from me if I don't use restraint and control will leave a bruise.. as you progress in your training.. you learn more about your body than you ever thought possible.. learn to stop the punch within .. say 6" from your opponent.. practice at home .. before a mirror if you like.. then 5" down to 1" then to actually touching it.. stopping the punch without breaking the glass of course.. :)
Don't fret about the men.. there's always going to be people out there that have issues.. those are THEIR problems.. not yours.. Deal with yourself.. Respect is earned .. Never given freely if demanded. :)

Hope this helps..

Tess

Maybe aggressive isn't quite the right word...it's kinda like when you're driving and you see someone is planning to cut you off - you can either ease up and let them in or you can prevent them from getting in front of you. There are times when you SHOULD let them in (like when they're in a Mack truck and you're in a Mini).

I guess it all comes down to experience...hopefully I'll be trading in my Mini for a Beetle soon :rofl:

Janice

To quote the Late Mr. Ed Parker.. an Orange belt saying..

"Let time be your measurement to skill and experience"

When Janice was doing day classes at Vlad's I had a few chances to work with her. She has the unique ability to talior her working abilities to the partner she is working with.

I personally don't see you picking up bad habits Janice, in fact, I see you eventually being a great teacher because of the way you work.

Just my 2 cents.

I have found that most men have become accustomed to working with women, even if it's uncomfortable at times (and it can be, for a variety of reasons). I find if a woman tries her best, and uses control, most men who have trained for awhile will tailor their strikes to what the woman dishes out. Obviously, I have seen a few guys who are afraid to hit a girl, which usually they get over after a couple of well- placed strikes. I have also seen a couple of girls who go all-out, abusing their position to hit men harder than they'd be willing to take. But as experience is gained, a few mishaps down the road, this crap seems to taper off. Maybe it's a necessary process in part, so we can get past our fears and our social conditioning to actually working the material.

If the topic is training exclusively with men, well I have for the past three years, for the simple reason that there are no other women in my bb class. There are none in my kyosho meetings on Sunday morning (our breakfast club). But there is one in my new ninjuitsu class, and I'm a bit trepidacious about working with her. I'll post on how it goes, and I plan to seek her out so I can test my control and see where things lead.

The other difference aside from striking force is weight. In my kenpo class, the default body type is stocky, especially in the upper body. So I'm used to sweeping & throwing men that weight 80-120 pounds more than me. One day I worked with a 150 pound blue belt and slammed him hard into the floor the first time. He thought my skill was supreme but I knew it was simple physics and re-adjusted my attack. I simply saw a man, not a man who weiged 85 pounds less than my usual training partner.

But also Tess is right, there are occasions when a women has to earn respect the old blood & guts way. When I went to the first Kyosho breakfast club, I was abused badly ;) which I kind of expected. It seemed like a test to see what I could take & how workable I would be. Finally I picked an opening and knocked out the highest ranked guy. They invited me back, and since have not been nearly as tough on me, just give and take like any other play session. Dumb? Maybe. But it's a guy thing, maybe, and like it or not, women have to recognise the unspoken rules and deal with them. That can be an inflammatory statement, but it isn't meant to be. Perspectives? Male & female?

:boxing:

perspective? Well in my experience there are some guys that don't give women respect as fighters untill they (the women in question) "Prove" them selves. I think most people in genneral who fight with high contact don't give as much respect to people who regularly do not or rather apear as if they don't want to. I have often wondered if the first statement I made is due to sexism, but on the otherhand I haven't come across a male student that lasted more than 3 months without sparring, yet quite a few female students. than again I havn't been training long and have only been with one teacher, so realy it's kind of hard to evaluate the situation.

perspective? Well in my experience there are some guys that don't give women respect as fighters untill they (the women in question) "Prove" them selves.
Man i used to think first, that only Chinese/Asian girls only practice MA :D but later when first time i chose to learn in TKD(after MT) school i come to knew that Indian Girls too practice MA(but not much)
in my class both of them are very good technicians, their forms/movements r amazing....when they move it's like moving in air, n then bang bang bang, they hit before anyone realise wat the hell happened:D
first time i faced tougher one there, i was worried that i probably easily rip her off but man was i wrong?she was good fight... lacked real power tho n took some beating from me. she was meaner than most of guys in my class. later she developed some good power. i dunno i always liked sparring with her because of her fighting spirit. guys normally give up...
n frankly i don't mind if a Female hav aggressive attitude...
anyways in here there's only simple rule...
follow the rule(fight/sparr/excercise) or just leave the club(who cares)
if a guys hav to give 50 knuckles pushups, girls hav to give it too not even single less(may be bit easier when someone starts but for higher belts No Way)
-TkdWarrior-

it sometimes takes women longer to develop power...

most of us don't have plain old brute strength, which men can use to make their strikes powerful from the get go. Like any beginner, they're probably not doing it correctly, but they're doing it with a lot of back-up mass. Women have to learn good technique first, especially solid stances, and then the power comes from the technique, not the brute force. This doesn't just go for women, its for anyone who doesn't have lots of muscle mass when starting martial arts.