Hi all,

I'm one of 3 women who train regularly at my club...and they both speak Russian so they're probably getting a lot out of the classes that I'm missing :confused:

Anyway, I love the training - it's the people outside of class I have problems with. How do you deal with this? Do you tell your family/friends/co-workers what you do and what's involved? For example, my sister told me I shouldn't tell people I train because they'll either be very intimidated or they might challenge me...then she lost all respect when she asked if I could stand on my head yet!!?!? What has THAT got to do with SD?

One more question for those of you who do full-contact sparring...how do you explain the bruises? My husband is 6'3'' - it really doesn't look good on him when I'm full of bruises. I can cover them up in the winter but spring's coming...

Thanks,
Janice

Very few of my co-workers know that I practice and teach martial arts. It makes life much simpler.

As for the bruises, good question!

:D

Originally posted by TheLady
Hi all,

I'm one of 3 women who train regularly at my club...and they both speak Russian so they're probably getting a lot out of the classes that I'm missing :confused:

Anyway, I love the training - it's the people outside of class I have problems with. How do you deal with this? Do you tell your family/friends/co-workers what you do and what's involved? For example, my sister told me I shouldn't tell people I train because they'll either be very intimidated or they might challenge me...then she lost all respect when she asked if I could stand on my head yet!!?!? What has THAT got to do with SD?

One more question for those of you who do full-contact sparring...how do you explain the bruises? My husband is 6'3'' - it really doesn't look good on him when I'm full of bruises. I can cover them up in the winter but spring's coming...

Thanks,
Janice



Hi Janice :) Nice to meet you and welcome ~!

I just got up so bear with me as I collect my thoughts.. :)

When I started training I was working for a large company and one of my co-workers was also a neighbor and a student at my school. He and I always hung out together and it made it impossible for people not to know we trained as he made a point of practicing his techniques on me during breaks, inside, outside didn't matter where we were..*G* People would comment, and you know..at first I was rather put off.. then I thought about what I was doing.. and Pride surged forth.. I was not a 20 yo anymore.. I started training in my late 30s.. and I was actually doing something for myself.. Those silly comments were nothing but petty words, nothing more.
I am now 43 and my husband and I own our own school and teach American Kenpo at our college as an accredited course. So I am surrounded by Kenpo all the time.

Martial Arts can be many things to people, the uneducated will remain in the dark unless people like us turn that around. Why are alot of people afraid or embarrassed to tell someone they train ? I'm so proud of what I've accomplished and sure want to share with all. My training not only has developed my body but my self confidence, self discipline the list goes on..
These are just my humble opinions but if your family.friends/coworkers are demeaning or ridiculing.. then obviously they are not educated in what you are doing.. bring them to one of your classes, get them involved. If that's not an option.. look them in the eye and tell them.. It's your choice.. your life.. and if they don't like it. Back off.. To each their own :)

As far as bruises.. I've had more than my share~! Someone asks? Tell them with a big smile.. Plain and simple.. I train in Martial Arts.. :) If they don't ask.. but just stare.. give them a wink and smile.. :) works for me ~!

In essence Janice... don't worry about what others think, there's always going to be a smartass out there, and most are going to be family members who just don't get it.. Don't lose sleep over it and surely don't give up on your dream.. Some just aren't worth the effort.. but the more we can talk about what drives us.. the better we get to know ourselves.
~!
ok.. I'm off my :soapbox:

Respectfully,

Tess

Through a very strict 1200 calorie diet and hapkido I lost the extra 100 pounds that I'd been carrying. I work for a surgeon's group and everyone wanted to know how I lost so much weight and got so toned. At first I just said working out, and then I started telling people what I do. I emphasize the physical workout, not the self-defense applications, to most people. A lot of my friends have now joined my school and they're amazed at how much they're learning and how much more physically fit they've become. As for the bruises, I blame it on my favorite sparring partner, my dog. There's a story there.....:D

Sounds like a real success story Patty! That's self-defense in my book--it'll extend your life!

Tell people with pride that you are in MA, if they have a problem that their problem not yours. Brusies are badges of pride and reminders that your technique needs work. I am one of those folks that doesn't bruise and I get dissapointed I have to pride badges. Patty, good job and incredible inner strength. You have done what many people wish they had the strength to accomplish. Tell Jerod and the SUBWAY chain that MA works just as well.


Mountain Sage

Thanks for the words of wisdom, Tess. I am proud of my accomplishments, even though I still have a long way to go. I guess I tend to listen to my "big sister" more than I should...older doesn't necessarily mean wiser!

Patty - Congratulations! Your example is obviously an inspiration to others.

Good point about the bruises, Mountain Sage. I'm not getting as many bruises as I did when I first started...although I do seem to learn the hard way :-)

Janice

Mod Note-

We have alot of new members and would like to see their points of view on this thread :)

~Tess
-MT S. Mod

As far as the bruises, if people ask, I tell them the truth. Honesty is always the path of least resistance. I'm proud to be a martialist, but I don't volunteer that information, especially not to men. The reaction is often "I can still kick your ass because I'm a man." It's like they're threatened by it. You know those kickass chicks that men fantasize about, Lara Croft, Lucy Liu, Uma Thurman, etc.? Well, they like them to be just that: fantasies. Most men don't find kickass chicks nearly as sexy in real life. Unless, of course, they are fellow martialists. There are a few exceptions among the non-martial male population. But so far, I haven't encountered too many of those exceptions, so I consider the fact that I practice martial arts to be personal information only for friends and for those with whom I am well-acquainted.
The sad fact is, when people see a petite woman like Janice who is all bruised up and walking with her tall, strong husband, they are going to assume that Janice is the victim of abuse. Perhaps this isn't such a drastic assumption. I wouldn't be surprised if there are more female victims of physical abuse than female martial artists in this country. But you can't control what other people think so I don't worry about my own bruises. They are a handy guide to where I was too tense or lazy to get out of the way. The great thing about Systema is you have no one to "blame" but yourself for your injuries. You can't expect your environment to change to suit your own comfort levels, you have to adapt and take responsibility upon yourself, even in the case of injury.
Fortunately, everyone in NYC minds their own business. When I had a very visible black eye recently, no-one even asked me about it. My co-workers know it's from martial arts class, they don't even have to ask. I'm sure some people thought that I was a victim of domestic abuse, but so what? I am single so I can't relate to whether or not this would make a significant other uncomfortable. If it's a high-profile event like a dinner party, I guess I'd offer to use foundation to cover up the bruises, but anyone I date will have to accept that the bruises are part of the package. Like my teacher said, "Do not complain but be proud of your blues, reds, blacks or greens" :)
OK, that's just my $0.02. I'd love to read some more replies...
All the best,
Rachel

Some of my friends know what i do, most don't care for it so we don't discuss it. I've had a few teachers pull me aside to ask about bruises (i bruise incredibly easily, i'm always sporting at least one) but i guess thats cus they have to. They accept it when i explain.
Aqua

Whatever physical activities I do, I sometimes get bruises, be it martial arts or caving. <shrug> It's part of life and is a result of my intense need for physical activity.

- Ceicei

All of my friends know that I train in martial arts, and they think it's cool. I do get a lot of the "hey let's fight!" comments- esp. from guys- but they're just kidding. Deep down they know that fighting me would be a mistake because either way they lose; either they get beaten by a girl and look dumb or they beat up a girl and look like the scum of the earth.

I don't know if things will change when I get older (I'm 18), but for now I get really positive feedback. Girls think it's cool and guys just like physically fit girls. They dig the flexibility thing too... pervs. As for the bruises, girls think they're gross and guys think they're intimidating, but they don't really affect anyone's opinion of me. My parents also love my training because of the awareness lectures.

I guess I would say be honest with people, but I'm not an adult and I really can't relate. Question for all of the ladies (and heathen guys i suppose :asian: ). Do you think times are changing? Are younger people more accepting because of a generation difference, or do you think it's just because intense physical activity starts to be seen as "less appropriate" as you get older?