playing around

[rachel]

Do any of you have friends who are not into martial arts who think it's fun to sneak up behind you and grab you or yell? i have this problem at work and I find it annoying. I take karate seriously and they think it's a game. Whenever my boss sees me he covers his groin like I'm going to kick him or something. when they first started this I thought ok let them have their fun but it's almost an everyday thing. Am I being too sensitive or what?

[jfarnsworth]

Unfortunately your going to encounter this anywhere you go that people know you do the martial arts. I've made it a point to not talk about my training to just anybody. People seem to think you become like super human or something or you can beat anyone up. That just isn't the case. My wife always complains about the only friends I have are the so called "karate buddies". In my life karate buddies seem to be the most genuine. The serious students/instructors understand there's much more out there than what they know. This is why I usually associate with karate buddies only if that makes any sense to you.

[Jill666]

I actually don't get the same thing at work. A joke here & there but everyone seems to take it in stride. If they acted the same way your crew do that would get old really fast.

I do notice people don't want to piss me off, but I do have a temper in general, and I will say to a person's face what I think. I think most people don't know how to deal with that.

My husband had a buddy who snuck on him and grabbed his neck from behind. He pulled him over his shoulder to the floor. That was the end of all joking around.

[jfarnsworth]

Originally posted by Jill666
My husband had a buddy who snuck on him and grabbed his neck from behind. He pulled him over his shoulder to the floor. That was the end of all joking around.

Cool! Good for him.

[Despairbear]

Hehehe my borther did something along that line to me. I was doing a little shopping at the grocery store and my brother happened to be there at the same time. He thought it would be funny to run up behind me and grab me. I did not realise it was my brother untill he was on the ground un front of me with some cracked ribs.


Despair Bear

[Kirk]

I have friends that act this way too. It's all in fun. I figure it's
what I get for making them listen to me when I go on and on and
on and on and on about kenpo.

[Blindside]

Whenever my boss sees me he covers his groin like I'm going to kick him or something.

Do what I do, when he covers his groin, pop him in the nose. Teach him right for keeping his gaurd low. :)

Lamont

[jfarnsworth]

Originally posted by Blindside
Do what I do, when he covers his groin, pop him in the nose. Teach him right for keeping his gaurd low. :)

Lamont

I like it.:D

[yilisifu]

The kind of immature behavior you encounter is pretty common...When it happens to me, I make jokes of it. For instance, when your boss covers his groin, ask him if he's got a bug problem.....

A few quick "comebacks" like that and it'll fizzle out.

[Robbo]

If it actually come to pushes and grabs, take the chance to practise your restraining without hurting self defenses.

In our system the first 16 techniques you learn are 'party' karate that will restrain an opponent w/o causing them harm (unless you have to of course).

Rob

[cali_tkdbruin]

I can see it becoming old quickly and very annoying having jokesters constantly running up behind you and playing these dumbass games. Fortunately for me people haven't done this to me since I was in school years ago. If someone did do this I would set them straight right away by requesting that they stop with the sneaking up behind me. :angry::flammad:
Have you tried just telling them straight out seriously to cut the crap?

And, I also take jfarnsworth's approach, in that I make it a point not talk about the fact that I train in the Martial Arts to just anybody. I guess it works pretty well because I'm not having to always deal with knuckleheads who feel a need to challenge me or play idiotic games.... :shrug:

[Rich Parsons]

Two Quick Stories,

The first I was working in an office building as an engineer. I was between a support pillar and a cube wall, we had some cables for test equipment on the floor. This guy jumped at me and shoved. I stepped back a couple of inches to gain balance and slipped on a cable. I went down. Everyone was surprised including the guy who had made the shove. He asked what Happened???

I replied, I had three options, Go down and take you with me as the pillow. You get hurt. Take you down with me and I might get hurt. Or just fall and break fall and no one gets hurt. His reply was you actually made that choice in that short of time? I said Yes I did, so as to avoid hurting others. No one ever bothered with the fakes again.


Previous to working as an Engineer, I was a Manager / Bouncer of an Arcade / Go kart Park. I was refilling the coin machines. I had four bags, each bag had $500.00 dollars in quarter in them. Right before I set them down. I was carrying them up and over my shoulders. Well, this guys steps up behind me and sticks a nice round object in my back and says Hand up Drop the bags. I did exactly what he asked. Well two of the bags hit the floor, the other two hit is ankle. He was screaming like a banshee before I could turn around and see what had happened. I called an ambulance and the police. I probably would have avoided the police, yet he was screaming I had done it on purpose and he was going to press charges. I pressed Charges instead. The officer followed him to the hospital and took him into custody after his leg was put into a cast. Since I believed it to be a gun and the value was $2,000.00 it was a felony charge with a weapon. The DA asked what I truly wanted. I told him I wanted him not to press charges against me and not to take me to civil court. The DA got him to sign off, and I drop the charges.


Moral of the Story

It is when people are screwing around that people get hurt.

You could take the advise previously given which good advise, or you could consider asking them to stop. By explaining to them that the flinches might get a reaction out of you. Just a thought.

One of the things I tell all new students is not to tell anyone they are training. Their friends and family will know but not at work or at the bar, etc.,..., .

Good Luck

Rich

[jeffkyle]

I had a guy ask me if I could break a board...I told him I don't know, but I could break his arm. Then he asked me if I could break a brick...again i told him I don't know, but I could break his knee. He just chuckled and quit asking me questions about it.
I like the part about Making fun of them when they over act with the "covering of the groin" and such...either make a joke about it, or show them that it isn't smart to have both hands in the same place at the same time by popping them elswhere.
It can be great fun making fun of people trying to make fun of you. Have fun with it! :D

[jfarnsworth]

Originally posted by Rich Parsons
One of the things I tell all new students is not to tell anyone they are training. Their friends and family will know but not at work or at the bar, etc.,..., .

I vote for this approach. ;)

[TKDman]

Its best not to tell your co-workers that you do the martial arts for all sorts of obvious reasons. You can just spring into action out of the clear blue and suprize them... WUTAH.

[sweeper]

yeah my freinds like to sneak up behind me, it always get s a reaction, but I have almost hit them a few times.. actualy two of the people who do that take MA classes with me.. It's all in good fun though.. my non-MA freinds stopped though because I'm pritty jumpy as it is and I tend to pick things up and throw em or swing em on instinct :-p

[Astra]

Yeah, those people can be a bitc* sometimes. Even when they don't know you're into martial arts, LOL! I've had an occasion where I got into an argument, and out of the blue the other guy decides to push me. I flew back a few feet standing on my feet, but because of my training, the second I recovered, I was going to attack him (this is actually trained as a reflex where I train).. I stopped it in half a second, but he saw it.. he never tried to push me again, hehe :)

[Mike Clarke]

Many years ago my sister called by my home, knocked on my front door and hid to one side. When I opened it she jumped out at me shouting "BOO".
My palm heel to her chin did the rest, and it took a while to bring her back around. Lucky she hit the grass on the lawn and not the driveway.
I knew then I was begining to get the hang of this karate stuff I'd been doing. She's never hid again and I've never over reacted so quickly since.
As for folks making jokes. I NEVER tell people I train in karate.

Mike.

[bart]

I've always had that problem. I also do a lot of close contact heavy and light sparring, empty hand and in Eskrima. When I was a bouncer, nobody asked any questions of course. But in my other jobs that I've had (lifeguard, bartender, office clerk, journalist, computer programmer) I often had to explain why I had bloody knuckles, black eyes, or large bruises. So there was no way to hide doing MA without looking like I was into S&M or creeping people out. Of course my coworkers always had some jokes or feints or just out right attacks. I used to handle them by addressing their moves and talking or by fighting. Nothing really serious came out of it, but I tended to change jobs after a while mostly because of workplace wanderlust, but sometimes partly because I was tired of that stuff.

I asked Master Wally Jay about that problem at a seminar of his back in 1996. And he gave me some good advice about what worked for him. To most people feeling pain is serious. The MA are not a joke. If you associate the MA with pain, then the person will be less likely to joke. He explained a little about how to avoid bruising someone, and then proceeded to demonstrate a few techniques on me. I did a little research in my own training and found some pressure points and painful but non-damaging finger locks that cause a lot of pain in most people. There are a lot of tricks that you can do on grabs and such that will cause people a lot of pain and they'll never bug you again, unless they are seriously interested in training.

I think this is a much better way to go than threatening people or fighting with them. I only use the points or locks that when applied on me, make me weak in the knees or see flashes of white. Everyonce in a while you'll come across a person who is resistant to pressure points or too flexible for the lock to work without hurting them. In those instances I've had to affect their balance and that worked fine too. The main thing is that you have to be willing to inflict a little benign pain in order for this method to work. It does for me.

[fringe_dweller]

My biggest problem is that my girlfriend always pumps up my mates to try to do stuff to me - bloody saddist she is.
I only let my close friends know that I'm into MA and it tends to keep things a bit easier to deal with.

Respectfully,

[MartialArtist]

LOL, if your boss and co-workers did that, that is harrassment. Just do not elaborate on the truth. Like when he covers his groin, that can be used to make it sound like sexual harrassment. A BIG lawsuit.

That's what a lot of people would do.

The more honorable way is to just tell them to stop. Especially the boss, he knows what he's getting into if he continues.

[Yari]

Originally posted by rachel
Do any of you have friends who are not into martial arts who think it's fun to sneak up behind you and grab you or yell? i have this problem at work and I find it annoying. I take karate seriously and they think it's a game. Whenever my boss sees me he covers his groin like I'm going to kick him or something. when they first started this I thought ok let them have their fun but it's almost an everyday thing. Am I being too sensitive or what?

No, your not sensitive. I experience simluar situations. And most of the I ignore, and they go away. the situations that keep going on have some kind of enforcing energy that keeps it going. Then I use another approach. Depending on who and when I just tell them I don't think its funny. It's got to be said in a natural way with no fuss. Then the posssiblity is there that it'll be understood, and not misunderstood. You got to remember he probalby doesit because he thinks your into the joke too. By telling him differntly he'll know. But if you feel the direct approach is too hard, the joke idea I like, and would use in that situation.

Concerning telling co-workers and such. I only tell if the subject falls on it. I never start off by telling about it. I don't keep secrets about big parts of my life, it only makes me weird. But I usally don't tell then how long I've praticed. Just say that I'm no good at it, and havn't understood it yet (which isn't a lie ;) ). And if somebody does an armbar on me and ask if I can get lose from it , I say no, and they let me go. case closed and nobody hurt! If they think that they can manage me, OK by me. I know were/who I am.....

/Yari

[GaryM]

course you could just go 'postal' on them. he he

[rachel]

yeah considering I work for the post office:) anyway most of them do it for fun and I've told them it's not a joke. They're just having fun but it does wear thin after a while.

[deadhand31]

Yeah, my little sis, who takes TKD with me, had an encounter like this. She was in a park with several of her friends at night, and her boyfriend decided to sneak up on her and grab her from behind. Well, it being in the middle of a park at night, she gave him the basic shoulder toss REALLY FAST. Her b/f now knows not to do that anymore.

Way to go sis.

:D

[Baoquan]

My crew and i (my MA mates, that is) call this "The Wazzah Factor" - when people discover your into the arts, they invariably say "WAAZAAAH!!!" (ie, bruce lee cat noise imitation), or the "Remind me not to pi$$ you off!" comment, or one of the many things described above.

For years i refrained from telling people i study the arts, but its hard to strain it out of ur conversation when it forms such a big part of ur life - as all of u know, i'm sure. So now, when i make mention of going to train, or something similar, and people ask what, i say "I'm a boxer...sort of." Boxing, being familiar to most, has a very low W.Q. (Wazzah Quotient).

{NOTE: Any martial art's Wazzah Quotient can be determined by dividing the number of times it is mentioned in normal conversation by the number of times the "WAZZAHH!" response is returned.

Ninjutsu has the highest WQ, and oddly enough, seemingly due to public ignorance, Taiji has the lowest WQ of all}.

Everyone gets it. It is seemingly unavoidable. Perhaps the only release is to press for a "Wazzah Factor" forum here, so we can share our Wazzah related frustrations and rejoice when some special one among us triumphs over the tyranny of the innocently ignorant.

Cheers

Bao

[Johnathan Napalm]

My boss wants me to teach him how to fight. But all I am really interested in is to teach all the secretaries judo and wrestling. ;)

[fringe_dweller]

I can relate to that! :D

Respectfully,

[cali_tkdbruin]

Originally posted by Baoquan
My crew and i (my MA mates, that is) call this "The Wazzah Factor" - when people discover your into the arts, they invariably say "WAAZAAAH!!!" (ie, bruce lee cat noise imitation), or the "Remind me not to pi$$ you off!" comment, or one of the many things described above.
.
.
.
Bao

I've also heard it referred to as WATAHHH!!! :D

[white belt]

Back years ago I was working in a factory putting myself through school. Almost on a daily basis I would go into the breakroom with the rest of the crew and there were warehouse guys, truck drivers etc. Word got out that I studied Martial Arts. A couple of guys funned with me and it went away. Well, one truck driver who flaunted his veteran credentials escalated with cat calls and all in front of an audience. This went on for several weeks. One day he said "What good is that Karate S**T against my handgun?". I asked him where is your handgun? He said "In the truck". I turned pi$$ mean, got in his face and said "WHAT THE F**K MAKES YOU THINK YOUR GONNA' MAKE IT TO YOUR F**KIN' TRUCK!? You could hear a pin drop in that breakroom. Everyone turned around and started eating. Mr. Tough Ass left me alone after that.

white belt

[Johnathan Napalm]

lol He could have pulled the gun out of his holster and shoved it up your a$$ right there. :D

[white belt]

A man can either take consistent abuse or stand up to it. There are some things worse than death. I never said a cross word to him before that. The man said it was "in his truck". If he were lieing and had it on him, there were 20-30 witnesses. Goodbye job. Goodbye freedom. If he wanted to shoot, Goodbye me. I will take the chance rather than cower. Again there are some things worse than death. I had to work around him 5 days a week. If anyone disagrees with me on this, knock yourself out. :) I won't be cornered day after day and do nothing. I played my hand well. He shut up, I kept my job by not cracking his skull.

white belt

[Baoquan]

Originally posted by whitebelt
"WHAT THE F**K MAKES YOU THINK YOUR GONNA' MAKE IT TO YOUR F**KIN' TRUCK!? You could hear a pin drop in that breakroom.

ROFLMGDAO!!! :rofl: :rofl:

I LOVE that...much respect.

Cheers

BAo

[rachel]

my boss came up behind me again today and grabbed me. I didn't jump or flinch. he asked what was wrong with my relexes and said I should have attacked him. i just told him"look. The post office has a zero tolerance policy and if I touched you or hurt you I'd be fired and you know that. He didn't say a word after that.

[Baoquan]

Good work..made it clear that your work environment is no place for his behavior, AND that you could hurt him if you had attacked....:D

It seems your problems may be over.

Cheers

Bao

[rachel]

one supervisor down. one to go.:)

[cali_tkdbruin]

Originally posted by rachel
my boss came up behind me again today and grabbed me. I didn't jump or flinch. he asked what was wrong with my relexes and said I should have attacked him. i just told him"look. The post office has a zero tolerance policy and if I touched you or hurt you I'd be fired and you know that. He didn't say a word after that.

Excellent rachel! :asian:
I like that you just shut it down ASAP. Nobody needs to be subjected to this type of bullsheeat. To me, when I go to work it should be about respecting your co-workers and just letting them do their job, and you do your job. That's it, be professional.

Hope I don't sound like a hard-ass... :shrug:

[cali_tkdbruin]

Originally posted by white belt
Back years ago I was working in a factory putting myself through school. Almost on a daily basis I would go into the breakroom with the rest of the crew and there were warehouse guys, truck drivers etc. Word got out that I studied Martial Arts. A couple of guys funned with me and it went away. Well, one truck driver who flaunted his veteran credentials escalated with cat calls and all in front of an audience. This went on for several weeks. One day he said "What good is that Karate S**T against my handgun?". I asked him where is your handgun? He said "In the truck". I turned pi$$ mean, got in his face and said "WHAT THE F**K MAKES YOU THINK YOUR GONNA' MAKE IT TO YOUR F**KIN' TRUCK!? You could hear a pin drop in that breakroom. Everyone turned around and started eating. Mr. Tough Ass left me alone after that.

white belt

white belt I like that you were able to put this knucklehead in his place. Sounds like he deserved it.

But, if I might add my two pennies. The area where I live, L.A., that would be a tricky call because here there are a good share of wannabe wild west gunslingers who after they perceive that they've been disrespected do go out and they do arm up, then they often come back aiming to blast you away. Who cares about getting fired. It sucks. You just never know when something is just going to blow over, as happened in your case, or when it might escalate into a firefight. It sucks...:idunno:

[Yari]

Originally posted by rachel
my boss came up behind me again today and grabbed me. I didn't jump or flinch. he asked what was wrong with my relexes and said I should have attacked him. i just told him"look. The post office has a zero tolerance policy and if I touched you or hurt you I'd be fired and you know that. He didn't say a word after that.

Really good. Nice way to handle it!!!

/Yari

[bob919]

yeh i find women martial artists often have this problem; the men feel less manly if theres a woman who nthey think can take them, they use humor as a defense short of kicking their a$$es i dnt what you should do just remember they are only teasing cause they are intimidated

[white belt]

Originally posted by cali_tkdbruin
white belt I like that you were able to put this knucklehead in his place. Sounds like he deserved it.

But, if I might add my two pennies. The area where I live, L.A., that would be a tricky call because here there are a good share of wannabe wild west gunslingers who after they perceive that they've been disrespected do go out and they do arm up, then they often come back aiming to blast you away. Who cares about getting fired. It sucks. You just never know when something is just going to blow over, as happened in your case, or when it might escalate into a firefight. It sucks...:idunno:

TKD Bruin,

Chicago is no different than L.A. I won't have someone bully me out of my hard earned pay. If people start walking around and trying to scare people out of their jobs by implying "I am a gun owner, on your knees to my abuse", then when will you stop going from job to job? I understand the risks involved in standing up to implied threats. I don't take them lightly. I will give a little time for them to settle down. If they persist, I do not take them sitting down. I stand firm.

A side note: Received my "rebreakable boards" and my students are very happy. If not for yours and another's opinions, I would have assumed they were not practical. Thank you!

white belt

[rachel]

my boss was a good boy today:) no jumping out at me and the other person who was trying it did it again and I just explained that I take this very seriously. He's ok with it. we joke but I think the jumping out at me will end.

[cali_tkdbruin]

Originally posted by white belt
TKD Bruin,

Chicago is no different than L.A. I won't have someone bully me out of my hard earned pay. If people start walking around and trying to scare people out of their jobs by implying "I am a gun owner, on your knees to my abuse", then when will you stop going from job to job? I understand the risks involved in standing up to implied threats. I don't take them lightly. I will give a little time for them to settle down. If they persist, I do not take them sitting down. I stand firm.

A side note: Received my "rebreakable boards" and my students are very happy. If not for yours and another's opinions, I would have assumed they were not practical. Thank you!

white belt

white belt, you had to do what you had to do, and what you thought was in your best interest. Good to hear that things have improved for the best. Some times it is necessary to stand up for oneself. In my post I just wanted to highlight some of the possible dangerous consequences that may occur in situations such as yours. Some bullies will walk away when confronted, while other unbalanced boneheads will come back later looking to exact revenge, or looking to get some payback. :mad:

Finally, glad to hear the re-breakable boards are working for you and your students.
Cali_TKD... :asian:

[white belt]

10-4 TKD Bruin.

white belt