Karate Lessons

[Yeti]

This is hillarious....

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/02/onion.karate/index.html

[Flying Crane]

gotta love the Onion. The only news worth reading!

[KempoGuy06]

This is hillarious....

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/02/onion.karate/index.html
pretty good

B

[DavidCC]

awesome :D

[terryl965]

Well those lesson really paid off.

[stone_dragone]

A heart warming story as only the Onion can write.

[theletch1]

"As Sensei Steve used to say......"
"Thank God I don't have to listen to that crap any more.":lfao:

[exile]

The Onion is hysterical... I remember one story they did on how due to a secretarial error, Mother Theresa had wound up in Hell, with St. Peter simultaneously promising a full and impartial investigation into how it happened while cautioning everyone that it was unfortunately too late to do anything about it now, and then complaining that mistakes will happen even in the best-run companies when millions of souls a day are being processed; you just try doing it for a day or two and see how far you get, etc etc. They did another one on how a vast, previously unknown region between the West Coast and East Coast had just been discovered, called the Midwest... they're really the best ever at that kind of humor, whatever it is...

[Kennedy_Shogen_Ryu]

"The white-belt also said the lessons he learned could prove valuable should he need to protect himself against any future involvement in swimming or violin lessons."

When I read this part I laughed so hard I spit the water I was sipping all over the monitor. I'm going to have to print that one out and hang it at the dojo!

[Jade Tigress]

ENGLEWOOD, Colorado (The Onion (http://www.theonion.com/content/?utm_source=CNN00)) -- After months of being taught to develop courage, inner strength and other values of the martial arts, Daniel Finkelstein finally achieved the self-confidence necessary to stand up to his parents and quit taking karate lessons, the area sixth-grader reported Monday.


Karate classes like this have given Daniel Finkelstein, 11, the ability to abandon things halfway through.
Finkelstein, 11, who was bullied into beginner's classes at Dragon Karate and Tae Kwon Do Academy by his father in July, reportedly drew on a number of recently acquired skills, including poise and self-assurance, when confronting his parents about how much he despised karate.
"Before karate, I used to let everyone -- my mom, my dad, even my grandma -- push me around," Finkelstein said. "They would tell me what to do and I would just roll over and do it, because they were bigger than me and I was scared."
"If it wasn't for the focus and determination I learned in karate, I would still be in karate right now," he added.


Full Article (http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/10/02/onion.karate/index.html)

[Kacey]

What's really interesting is I live less than 10 miles from Englewood... and I saw this story here - not on anything local!

[jazkiljok]

"I never thought I had it in me," said Finkelstein, who claimed he was prepared to use physical aggression only as a last resort to drop out of the martial arts class. "It was just like Sensei Steve used to say: 'Only by believing in yourself can you overcome the obstacles that lie ahead.' "

Added Finkelstein: "Thank God I don't have to listen to that crap anymore."

that one made me fall over laughing...

[Jade Tigress]

Hey! I already posted this in the Comedy Cafe! :p

[Lynne]

"When Daniel first showed up to class, he was like many of the other kids we see -- timid, unsure of himself, and very insecure," Guardino said. "But look at him now: He's gone."

Too funny!

[FieldDiscipline]

that one made me fall over laughing...

And me. :rofl:

[CoryKS]

"It's like there's nothing I can't quit now if I just put my mind to it" :rofl:

[DavidCC]

What's really interesting is I live less than 10 miles from Englewood... and I saw this story here - not on anything local!

Kacey, the story is completely made-up. That's what the Onion is... made-up news for comedy.

[Kacey]

Kacey, the story is completely made-up. That's what the Onion is... made-up news for comedy.

I know... it was just kinda weird, y'know?

[shesulsa]

Admin note: Threads merged. - G Ketchmark / shesulsa, MT Assist. Admin.

[newGuy12]

"As Sensei Steve used to say......"
"Thank God I don't have to listen to that crap any more.":lfao:

Whoo, Boy, I needed that! Hahahaha!