The passing of my little karateka

[girlychuks]

Ciara died as a result of a car accident in Sunday afternoon. She was a fierce little kicker right up to end. She loved her dojo and all her friends and instructors in it.

Following are some pics of Ciara at a summer demo.

I can't even go into how much I miss her. Her father and are are barely keeping each other up.

I so dreamed of getting a blackbelt with her. She was so proud that she learned 2 pinan. She would put signs on her door that said, "Warning! I'm a kraty kid!"

I had to write her obituary this morning. She was so amazing- the funeral director warned me about length, but it ended up two pages long.

I can't write anymore. I am posting pictures so maybe you can see her intensity and her focus.

[Bob Hubbard]

You and your family have my deepest and most heartfelt sympathies for your loss. I saw the notice posted earlier and it was hard to hold back tears. She was a beautiful girl.

[girlychuks]

She was shy in this pic....

[girlychuks]

Ciara loved dragon shirts. Her service will have her in a casket her father built with his own hands. She will have her little Gi on display with her little blue belt.
Ciara loved dragons and the power they represented. She was not a girly girl- her outfit for the funeral will be her favorite shirt (a black t shirt with dragons flying around a castle) and her favorite blue jeans, and her beloved dragon necklace one of her little karate friends gave her for christmas.

So much for frilly dresses and white coffins. She simply wasn't that type of girl. She had a front ball kick that could lay me out.

I swear- if she had had ten more years in this world she would have been able to lay half you guys on your butts.
I miss her so much. I don;t think I wil ever be able to do karate again. I found my gi jacket frozen in a trash bag after the accident.
She died instanly on impact- me, and her baby brother were both in the car, and he escaped without injury. I only have a couple cracked ribs and a broken heart.
How do you go on???

[arnisador]

Originally posted by girlychuks
How do you go on???

By recognizing and respecting how pleased she would be to know that the family that she loved had survived.

This is just a terrible thing. I don't know what more to say. I'm sorry.

[mtabone]

You have my deepest sympathies girlychuks.


You wrote above : . I don;t think I wil ever be able to do karate again.

Please ask yourself this question :

"What do you think Ciara would want you to do about your Karate training?"


In Love and Light

Michael Tabone

(sorry, there is no action, or smilie face for a straight bow. So I will just have to write it between *)

*Deep Bow*

[Rich Parsons]

There is nothing I Can say that will make a difference or change what has happened. For that I am truly sorry.

The loss of a loved one let alone a child is a traumatic event.
If I am sitting here crying and having a problem typing, I cannot imagine your position. I know that after my mother died I was in shock for a while. It was a tough time.

I apologize for rambling.

My Deepest condolences and respects go out to you and your family.

:wah:

[Quick Sand]

As I sit here looking at the pictures of your darling daughter and reading about her, I am crying.

My deepest and most sincere sympathies are extended to you and your family.

[Bob Hubbard]

GC, post as many pictures here as you like, and share as many memories as you can. If there is anything I can do for you, please do not hesitate to ask. If it is within my ability to do so, I will see it done.

peace.

Bob Hubbard

[KenpoGirl]

Thank you Girlychuk for posting thos pictures and putting a face to your little one for us.

She was such a beauty, the pictures show her personality shine through. No doubt she would have had a stellar life, if fate did not step in so suddenly.

Be proud of the child you raise, and thank God for the short time you had her. For no doubt she changed your life in more ways then can be printed down.

I think it is obvious that we share your grief, though it doesn't even begin to compare. I hope you can take some strength from what everyone has said, and know that we will continue to pray for your little one and for you too.

Dot Kelly

:asian:

[KennethKu]

Originally posted by girlychuks .......
How do you go on???....

I understand how hollow the words from a stranger in moment like this. Sadly, I know how this feels all too well....

It is so hard to go on....But your son needs you..... That is why you MUST carry on......... Your little angel would want you to carry on. Ciara would want you to live and live bravely, so that she too can continue to live in your heart.... That is why you must go on......

[Kirk]

I stayed up for hours after reading the first post, by your brother.
I have an 11 month old, and the thought of losing her keeps me
awake at night, very often.

I know the love in your heart that you feel for your daughter, and
I couldn't even come close to comprehending the sorrow and loss
you feel now.

I just wish I could do something, anything for you and your family
to help you with your pain, but I know there's nothing I could
possibly do.

To echo Bob's response, If there is anything I can do for you,
please do not hesitate to ask. If it is within my ability to do so, I
will see it done.

God be with you and your family.

[yilisifu]

Dearest Girlychucks,

I wrote to your brother and explained that I had also suffered a similar loss. My eight year old son, Chris, was killed four years ago when a car struck him as he crossed the road. I could not train for two years because it reminded me so much of him (he loved to practice with me).

This is the time when you will find out how strong your faith really is. Ask God for help and comfort. Only He can help you during this tragic time in your life.
And know that there are others out here who have suffered as you are suffering. We understand and our prayers are with you.

It truly is the worst pain imaginable. The wound never heals; you simply learn to live with it. In time. Don't push yourself.

God does all things well. Have faith and trust in Him. Let Him use you to turn this negative into a positive so that some good can come of it. I discovered that after Chris's death, I wanted to reach out and help those who had suffered the same kind of loss. It made me a better person, I think.

And know that when your time comes, Ciara will be waiting for you, anxious to show you her new hiding places, games, and friends. Perhaps my son is one of them.

You are not alone, Dear One. There are those of us out here who truly understand and we will always be here for you.

You may not feel like training for a time and that's alright. But remember all that martial arts has done for you and how much Ciara loved/loves it. Remember all it did for her while she was here. And you will put on your uniform again and go back to practice just as you will go back to living. But you will be different. You'll be a stronger and better person who truly understands the meaning of love and compassion.

Just remember, she'll be waiting. Have no doubt of that.

[Yari]

Words are so fewtail (sp?) at a time like this, but it's all I have.

As a parent my heart cries with you.
As a MA'ist my heart cries with you.
As a fellow human being my heart cries with you.

Take care

/Yari

[TkdWarrior]

My Deepest condolences goes out to you and your family.
she was a really beautiful kid
-TkdWarrior-

[RyuShiKan]

I cannot explain how sorry I am to hear of your loss but please remember God takes people for a reason.
It is said that God only take a child because he needs another Angel.

[rachel]

I can barely type through the tears. Your daughter is beautiful and I agree with the person who said God must have needed another angel. my prayers and thoughts are with you and though we've never met if i can help in any way I'll do it. God be with you.

[RyuShiKan]

I respect the people that have responed to this post.

There is an Okinawan saying:
"Shikinoo chui shiihii shiru kurasuru." - Let's live helping each other in this world.

This saying is the heart of true martial arts. The arts main pupose is not to beat people up but to help those that need it in whatever way possible.

[girlychuks]

I wish I could write more but I am exhausted. I just wanted to say thank you all for looking at her pics and just meeting her, even if it it is posthumous and online. I feel like I have tell the world about her. I never want her to be forgotten.

She was supposed to test for her next belt promotion this Friday, and that will be the day of her service. The dojo has postponed the test so that friends from her dojo and all her instructors can come.

Just knowing that people are looking at her pictures and taking time to hug and look at their babies is healing in a way.

Thank you all. I will let you know more as time goes by. All I ask is that you hug your kids extra hard and just take the extra time to read that story or look really hard at the picutre they drew you or just appreciate them while you have them.
Cathy

[qizmoduis]

I will help remember your daughter for you.

I have a 6 year old little girl who takes kenpo lessons with me. She's stubborn and frustrating, shy and chatty, and her smile lights up the room. I can't imagine my life without her.

I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot suffice.

[Angus]

I am terribly, terribly sorry to hear about your loss. There's no words anybody can express to come close to what you're feeling, but you have my deepest condolescences for as much as they're worth.

However, I must express my belief that you should keep training. You know your daughter would've been far more sad if you hadn't been able to put the black belt around your own waist as well. Keep going strong, she'll be training along side you no matter what, where ever you are.

Best of luck, that's to be sure. You've got the whole community here for support if you need. Keep strong! :)

[white belt]

GirlyChuks,

I feel much sorrow for your loss. My deepest condolences.

My Father died of a rare bone cancer when I was five. My Mother punished herself with drink and drugs for 30 years after. She neglected me all through my childhood through not dealing rationally with her sorrow. I had no shoes or food at times. I still love her with all my heart. She died alone in the back of an ambulance. I tried with all my strength to take her pain from her. But, I was just a little boy. When matured enough to really help, it was too late. I realize that when my Father died, so did my family. I have two older sisters who are a wreck. They are both on their third marriages. My point in all this, there are other survivors who would be damaged beyond repair without your good heart. The wake left by another vessels passing can capsize the vessels closest for eternity.

I have a little 6 month old boy. I fear that I don't know how to be a good Parent. I didn't say just "good Father" because I never had a Mother either after my Father died. I am learning vicariously as much as I can. I WON'T let my losses become his. Anytime I feel the lead weight of sorrow bearing down on me, I ask myself this question, "What purpose does this serve?".

My point in sharing all this is not an attempt to place my Mother's limitations on you. It is to help remind you just how important you still are. You were fortunate to have your daughter and she was fortunate to have you.

Respectfully,
white belt

[SRyuFighter]

I am very sorry indeed for your loss. Continue your karate training in her honor.

[yilisifu]

White Belt -
Your remark about the wake left by a passing vessel was profound. Thank you.

One wise person said that "life is the art of drawing without an eraser." Absolutely true. I have no doubt that you are and will remain a fine parent.

Girlychuks, again, please accept my condolences. Understand that you are still needed and still loved by so many. You Ciara, and your family remain in my prayers.

[chufeng]

Very sad...I truly am sorry for you...

"God won't deal out what you can't handle..."

Someone told me that when my boy was diagnosed with leukemia. It helped bolster me...

The shock, fear, and helplessness that I felt when I first found out about Greg can't come close to your loss...

My boy is still with me...and I am thankful for every additional minute we have together...

You are in my prayers.

:asian:
chufeng

[Zujitsuka]

GOD's comfort on you an your family Girlychuks.

Sincerely,

[Aikikitty]

Thank you for posting the pictures. Ciara was a beautiful girl. I'm sure she touched a lot of lives and hearts for the short time she was on this earth. My prayers will be with you and your family.

Robyn

[GouRonin]

Originally posted by girlychuks
How do you go on???

By showing the person who hit your car these pics so they are the last thing they see before you gouge out their eyes with a spoon?

But uh...maybe that's just me.

A good friend of mine is a minister and he assures me that children have a get-into-heaven-free pass. Having never had the chance to talk with God I will take my friend's word for it.

[Seig]

Cathy,
I know of absolutely nothing I can say to ease your pain; therefore, I am not going to even try. You and I have bantered, you have communicated with my wife, although you do not really know us, we grieve with you.
Last night was the first night of my Thursday night class of the spring semester at the college. While I was talking to some of the new students and clearing up some administrative stuff, Tess and my other assistants took the rest of the group up to the gym. While they were waiting for me, my group got to goofing off and horseplaying. We are a very tight knit group. Some of the new students saw the love and friendship being openly displayed. They were a bit shocked and from what I saw, even a bit jealous. One student commented to Tess, "You guys are a family." Truer words never were spoken. That is the entire point to my post. Your fellow martial artists are a family, a built in support group. Seek their comfort and their love, they will give it freely. They will hug you, they will love you, and most importantly they will cry with you. If you and/or your husband are ever near Mountaineer Martial Arts, I know of at least 20 seperate hugs that await both of you.

Michael

[Cruentus]

But my prayers go out to Ciara, Cathy, and her family.

[tshadowchaser]

My words are not enough to help heal this great loss you now have. She was a beautiful child .
May I offer myprayers for you, your family , and for Ciara.
Sheldon

[Guro Harold]

.

[Master of Blades]

I am truly sorry for you, usually I do not like even looking in these type of forums as I find it truly upsetting but I felt compelled to reply to this one.

I guess the only thing I can say is that I am truly sorry and I hope you have the power to live on. Your daughter was a beautiful girl.

[Shinobi]

I don't have kids like most people here, so I can't say I know how you feel.

I am VERY sorry you lost your daughter. My thoughts are with you.

[Kroy]

Sorry for your loss, my sympathies and prayers go with you. Thank you for allowing the group to meet your little princess.

[celtic bhoy]

No matter what style we study or what our beliefs are, we are all members of the same family, the martial art family. We all do this this because we choose to and not because we have to.

It is truly wonderful to see everyone join and support as a family would and should in this time of grief. This is the bond that unites us.

Don't be afraid to continue the journey yourself and Ciara started together. I'm sure she would want you to continue on that journey and I'm sure Ciara will be there with you all the way in spirit. If you try and think of the good times she can never leave you, she will always be in your heart where she belongs. You are in my prayers.

"Life is short, art is long"

[andurilking2]

quote:Her service will have her in a casket her father built with his own hands. She will have her little Gi on display with her little blue belt.
Ciara loved dragons and the power they represented. She was not a girly girl- her outfit for the funeral will be her favorite shirt (a black t shirt with dragons flying around a castle) and her favorite blue jeans, and her beloved dragon necklace one of her little karate friends gave her for christmas.


That is very cool of you

my heartfealt sympathies to everyone who is affected by this incident, Bless you for hanging in there though
i know this prob didn't help but i wanted to let you know that there are peeps who care (look at the # of replies) i hope that that makes you happy

sincerely- Zach

[Disco]

Remember the story of the person asking God a question about their life. God then showed a beach with two sets of foot prints in the sand side by side, then there was only one set. When the person asked what happened, God said I was walking beside you on your journey. The person then commented that, but the you left because theres only one set of foot prints left.
God smiled and said " IT WAS THEN THAT I CARRIED YOU"..............

Hold that thought close to your heart. Take care and may God bless.

[Gin-Gin]

. :asian:

[psi_radar]

I have a five-year old boy, and he's my world. I can't imagine your pain. Your little girl was beautiful. I hope that she's having a wonderful time wherever she is and that you two will be together again someday.

[MA-Caver]

.

That's all I can think of... no words I have can do.
But perhaps the words of another might.


Even when a river of tears
courses through this body,
the flame of love cannot
be extinguished.
~Izumi Shikibu~

Peace be unto you and yours. :asian:

[sifu Adams]

I have three girls 15, 9, 2 and the thought of loosing one brings me to tears. as for testing, the photos is all I need to pass her to the blackbelt, I will personaly email for a address to send to you her black belt certificat and incurrange all the members of MT that hold rank to send you there certificat of rank as well. I never give a black belt unless the student has met the requirements but I will in this case on only one condition. you, your family, and her instuctor hang it up prodly and you contenue your training in the arts, so one day you can hang yours beside it!!!

[The Prof]

Condolences to Ciara's family, you and all her dojo mates. Bless her angelic heart.


Respectfully, :asian:

The Prof

[Seig]

While the sentiments expressed here are warm and wonderfull, this thread should not have been revived. The poster is no longer a member here and this cannot be helping her healing process if she still reads. This is not a slam on anyone, but I am locking this thread.