I don't know if any of you have had any situation like this, but last night at my school we ran into it. I would like to hear your opinions both female and male. There is a woman at our school who was raped several years back. The guy stalked her for a few years after, but she hadn't seen him in about 4 yeras. Last night she comes into my advanced class and sits in the back corner. IT threw me, because usually we do not allow begining students to come into the advanced classes. After speaking with her we found out that the guy who assulted her was in our beginners class. Wow, what do you do? Whats the correct way to handle that? She has been a student longer as has her husband for quite a long time. She doesn't want to be at the school at all when he might be there. He says he is leaving for the Air Force in 4 months. We have not confronted him as with most rape victums she was scared and did not press charges at the time. What is your opinion on the situation? What is a proper way of handeling the very volital situation?


7sm

First, I would definitely make sure it is the same guy. Next, I would take him aside and tell him that some things have come to light showing his character to be in question. You do not teach people with character flaws and ask him to leave. Don't let him hang around; escort him out.
He may be a danger to other female students in his class. As an instructor you have some responsibility to keep your students safe. Granted you can't always follow them outside of the school, but while they are in school you should do what you can.
Good luck I hope this works out with noone else getting hurt.
:asian:

I'm not the primary instructor in the school, but if we kicked him out without any type of documentation, couldn't that result in some legal situation ?

7sm

The legal implications are greater if he attacked one of the students and you knew he was dangerous.
You might run into a breach of contract if he signed a contract. Usually, instructors have a clause saying they can suspend instruction for any reason. Usually this is used if someone is really dangerous in class, but he is dangerous outside of class. Granted he wasn't convicted but you have to weigh these things: possible harm to a person or possible breach of contract.

You could also use internal pressure: you could tell all the other students and then they would force him out. Some people may react violently and others may stop coming to class.

Finally, keep him around but only for private lessons. Talk to him about the situation and see if he has changed. Granted this is unorthodox and of course he will say he has changed, whether he has or not.
You have options and unfortunately, none of them are easy. But whatever you choose, the instructors are going to have to live with it. It sounds like an instructors meeting is in order.
:asian:

legal implications my ass. If he was accused of molesting a child you would not have any questrions about this. Just because she is a woman does not mean she has to prove his guilt.

you want to be responsible for teaching a guy how to more effectivle rape a woman?

Gone, gone, gone. he had his chance. And i hope she carries a gun.

Originally posted by 7starmantis

I'm not the primary instructor in the school, but if we kicked him out without any type of documentation, couldn't that result in some legal situation ?

7sm

There shouldn't be a legal situation because you aren't refusing him business based on anything other than safety (not race or religion). I had nearly the same incident happen at my school but was between two female roomates. I told the new woman that there is too much tension between them and since the other woman was here first, she has the first right to stay. The other girl understood and left asking me to call her when the first girl stops her training.

I would not talk to them specifically about the charges or about their character, since it is purely hearsay. Unless there is a restraining order out on them, there is no basis for you to insult their character. Simply tell them its a safety issue.

My hats off to the stalking victim that is trying to do something about her plight. Some just slink back in fear trying to forget this ever happened. She shows courage and you should let her know that you support her.

WhiteBirch

Originally posted by girlychuks

legal implications my ass. If he was accused of molesting a child you would not have any questrions about this. Just because she is a woman does not mean she has to prove his guilt.

you want to be responsible for teaching a guy how to more effectivle rape a woman?

Gone, gone, gone. he had his chance. And i hope she carries a gun.

I do not think she has to prove anything, I believe her 100%, I have no reason not to. Yes, I would have the same issue with the guy if he was accused of child abuse. If I had my way, I would show him a few advanced moves really fast if you know what I mean, but violence isn't going to solve the issue.

I do appreciate you guys opinions, it does sound like an instructors meeting is in order. She is showing tremendous courage and I respect that alot!!


On a side note, I want to add, that I do not want to create more of a situation for her by our actions either.

7sm

Consider asking a lawyer for advice.

It seems to me that it's a private school and you can teach who you want; a simple "We no longer wish to have you as a student" may be best as far as covering yourself legally. Since no charges were pressed and there's no conviction you must avoid expressing your concerns to the person except possibly in private, I would think. Vague is best here. It also doesn't give him anything to argue with you with.

Originally posted by girlychuks
legal implications my ass. If he was accused of molesting a child you would not have any questrions about this. Just because she is a woman does not mean she has to prove his guilt.

Just because he's a guy doesn't mean he's guilty.

Having been accused of rape it's not something that you throw around lightly. I went to court to get myself cleared and in the process still have a court order on my exgirlfriend to this day that does not allow her to come within 500 meters of me or contact me at all. Why did she do it? Well, of course because then I would HAVE to have contact with her. Luckily the dates she claimed it happened I was actually in church at the time. (Yeah, I know, go figure) But until the court date I was harrassed by people and accused WITHOUT trial! Did I say WITHOUT TRIAL!? I'm sure I did. That's where I get to tell my side of the story and have actual proof I wasn't anywhere near her when her "story" happened. Yeah, people like you and your holier than thou crap sought fit to judge me because of what one woman said.

Of course the restraining order doesn't mean squat since she stalked me for 2 years and I had to move and change phone numbers, addresses, go unlisted, have my mail re-routed at one point... Because a woman doesn't stalk men and we're supposed to be able to handle this sort of thing. After all, we're men. When police say that women have a tough time getting restraining orders to mean something well, at least for women they might mean something. If it's a guy people laugh. But it's not so funny when you're being accused of things you never did. Let's list a few.

In fact her psychiatrist attempted to get legal exception for her to contact me so she could have me involved in her therapy so she could get well. (At my expense) It was fun having the psychiatrist blame me for having her license suspended for breaking the order and contacting me. Yet, it was her own fault.

In the meantime I also had to deal with legal wrangling about a supposed pregnancy that never happened. It's funny how some agencies will actually demand that you pay child support before they know if there is even a child or not. All because she said so. Just on her word. Of course when the doctor she claimed did the abortion said she was not pregnant...ever...I barely got an apology. nevermind the fact that the dates she gave for the supposed sex, I WAS IN CHURCH and I had legal proof of it.

Oh wait, did I mention that she would regularily tell her new boyfriends I'd raped her or run out on her and our supposed child? That I'd find some freak who wanted to do the right thing in my face and I'd end up fighting them?

Words cannot express the feelings I am having at the moment. There is a reason that people are innocent until proven guilty. Unless of course it's by feminazi's who have the moral high ground.

I'm not saying that this guy is innocent or that this girl isn't telling the truth. I'm saying get all the facts.
:soapbox:

WOW..

ya know something.. GOU is right to have his point heard as well.. BUT how do you choose??? 7star, I wish you the best of luck.. Does your female student refuse to be in the same class as male?? Perahps if you asked the male student if he has any issues with her?? its one of those who do you believe in.. someone who's been with your for awhile or someone new???
Sorry I can't offer anymore advice then to talk to the male student... and try to get his side..
Best of Luck!!

I hate rapists and child molesters with a passion and I feel that there is no punishment too bad for them. With this said, maybe you are judging someone without hearing all the facts . Maybe she has a vendatta against him that she's not admitting to. You have to talk to him, mentioning the rape incident but not with whom, and listen to his side of the story. If he did rape her and was confronted about it, he would most likely drop the classes on his own. If it was me, I'd err on the side of caution and either put them in seperate classes or give the lady private lessons until the truth comes to light

A friend of mine use to be a teacher at a local school and this lady fell for him. They were together for a few months until he found out she was married with no intent of divorcing her husband. After breaking it off, the lady cried rape which caused my friend a lot of trouble. Eventually, he was proven innocent but the trust, for lack of a better word, people had in him is gone for the most part. The moral of the story is what one knows is not always the truth.

These are very good points, that is the big predicament that I'm stuck in!! Man, if only everyone in the world was completely honest, what a great place this would be!! She does refuse to be in the same class, she also refuses to be at the school at the same time he is there. Its a serious issue, serious claims, and needs serious attention. I have a friend that I grew up with who works for a government agentcy doing interigation, so I may have him present when we speak to them seperatly. He can tell if someone is telling the truth.


7sm

Originally posted by 7starmantis

These are very good points, that is the big predicament that I'm stuck in!! Man, if only everyone in the world was completely honest, what a great place this would be!! She does refuse to be in the same class, she also refuses to be at the school at the same time he is there. Its a serious issue, serious claims, and needs serious attention. I have a friend that I grew up with who works for a government agentcy doing interigation, so I may have him present when we speak to them seperatly. He can tell if someone is telling the truth.


7sm

It sounds like you don't need to go any further with this. If she's only doing this to one guy, I would believe her and just tell the guy that you don't think he should train here. You can give him the phone number of several other schools that would accept him.

Only if a student does this a number of times would I hesitate to doubt them. It's not that their guilty until proven innocent, it's just not something you want at the school, ever. If she's telling the truth and he joins, she'll quit and you lose a good student, and then she'll probably tell all her friends that you let him in. Mega bad PR.

If she's lying and he joins, one or the other will quit after causing in-school incidents and spreading more rumors and lies about each other. Mega bad PR.

Best bet is to not let him in simply because she was there first. No guilt or innocence presented to either one.

WhiteBirch

I don't know why people think that being a martial arts instructor means that they are also these wise sage people. It's often not the instructor's place to be that involved in people's lives outside the dojo.

My suggestion is to tell this woman that this guy is gone in 4 months. Go from there based on her reaction.

This is what happens when people don't use the legal system. I admit that the legal system can be a b*tch and I have had my own rough time with it but I still think that it should be there for people who really need it.

Originally posted by GouRonin

I don't know why people think that being a martial arts instructor means that they are also these wise sage people. It's often not the instructor's place to be that involved in people's lives outside the dojo.

My suggestion is to tell this woman that this guy is gone in 4 months. Go from there based on her reaction.

This is what happens when people don't use the legal system. I admit that the legal system can be a b*tch and I have had my own rough time with it but I still think that it should be there for people who really need it.

The only problem is, there isn't really any use for the legal system here. I mean, no one has broken any laws, no one is threatening a lawsuit. The legal system is not involved in this situation, thats what makes it tough.


7sm

not sure if this would actually work... consult a lawyer, but....

I would suggest to the lady in question that she attempt to get a restraining order on the guy. That would solve both her problems and yours. He can't come into the dojo when she's there.

Originally posted by arnisador

Consider asking a lawyer for advice.

It seems to me that it's a private school and you can teach who you want; a simple "We no longer wish to have you as a student" may be best as far as covering yourself legally....

I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that the service I offer as Sponsor of the School Management forum allows you to keep an attorney on retainer for these and other matters for as little as $16/mo and I can see here that several of you would use this service if you had it.

It is tax deductible. You may investigate my link and or contact me personally as you see fit.

My gut reaction would be to trash the guy and then throw him out so I would definitely consult my attorney and pray for guidance.
:asian:

The issue with restraining orders is that they have to be borne out of another, possibly court motivated, action. When she goes to get it they will want to why. She will have to tell them why. They will ask why she did not file when the alleged incident happened. They will tell her that when she did not press charges she forefited any benefits after the fact of said incident.

The other problem is that if this guy gets wind of what she is saying he can sue her for defemation, slander, etc. Now if he did do it he probably won't because it'll drag it into court. If he didn't then he might possibly. Either way they're both getting legal.

The more I think about this Mantis the more I hope you can find a way to smooth it over without it blowing up in your face. 4 months can't come soon enough.

Originally posted by cdhall
I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that the service I offer as Sponsor of the School Management forum allows you to keep an attorney on retainer for these and other matters for as little as $16/mo and I can see here that several of you would use this service if you had it.
It is tax deductible. You may investigate my link and or contact me personally as you see fit.

Ya know, if you think about it 16 bucks a month for a retainer doesn't sound bad. A lot of businesses would be doing well for themselves to look into this. I'm sure it would come in handy.

Heck, I don't even work for Mr. Hall and I'm thinking this might be a good idea.

Originally posted by cdhall
My gut reaction would be to trash the guy and then throw him out so I would definitely consult my attorney and pray for guidance.

Great reaction. You'll need to consult your attorney. Especially if the guy did not do it. You as a lawyer should know that if she didn't file charges it's a his word vs hers. This is why it's so important to use the law properly. When people misuse sexual assault laws it ruins it that little bit more for those who need it. When they DON'T use them at all it removes the law's bite that much more.

Originally posted by GouRonin


The more I think about this Mantis the more I hope you can find a way to smooth it over without it blowing up in your face. 4 months can't come soon enough.

:( You and me both!!! I just hate hard situations like this. C'mon 4 months!! I really do appreciate everyones advise as well, you guys have really helped.


7sm

You can probley be sued by either side in the case actully, it depends on the state you are in because the laws are diffrent in every state. There have been cases like this before the problem is that the world is getting more PC everyday, if you throw him out you can be sued for slander, or character attack. prujuduce and probley offense that make even less sense espically since it is being discussed in a public forum right now lol. On the other hand she can Sue (or find a womens group to sue for her) that you are creating a hostile environment for her to train in. I would think if you were playing stright by the law it would be her choice to stay at the school or leave, and you probley shouldn't do anything to him. The problem with rape is it is a real personal under reported crime and it carries a huge stigma. I know a girl that borrows moneys from guys (she is cute) then when they try and get it back she tells them she is going to tell that they raped her.

I also know a girl who was rapped and no one would believe her that is still physically terrified to be near strange men or have any man touch her in any way.

Running my own school, I would tell him to leave in your place. He's gone in 4 months anyway which means you're not losing anything. Too much stress for a 4 month student.

Damian Mavis
Honour TKD

Originally posted by JDenz

if you throw him out you can be sued for slander, or character attack. prujuduce and probley offense that make even less sense espically since it is being discussed in a public forum right now lol. On the other hand she can Sue (or find a womens group to sue for her) that you are creating a hostile environment for her to train in. I would think if you were playing stright by the law it would be her choice to stay at the school or leave, and you probley shouldn't do anything to him.

I disagree. I have the right to select who I train. There is no law that says I have to take *anyone*. As long as I don't spread rumors about the guy, there is no slander involved. I simply tell him that, at this time, I don't wish to train him and leave it at that. I'd do the same thing if someone came in wanting to fight everyone and then asked that I train them. I will not train someone that is blatantly out to cause physical or emotional harm.

I also doubt that she would be able to sue if she quit on her own. You might find it tricky to enforce a contract with her, but there's no such thing as a hostile "play" environment. Unlike a work environment, she has the ability to just walk away.

On the other hand, the woman has shown her resolve to stay with you and obviously trusts you. She deserves your priority. I would not destroy that trust by letting someone train with her that she isn't comfortable with. He is probably just there to harass her anyways; trying to be an emotional bully.

There is no doubt and no debate on this IMO. It's an easy solution. She stays and he never starts.

WhiteBirch

By the way, how did this situation turn out for you?

WhiteBirch

You can be sued by both espically if you have contracts. Trust me I have a law background I spent a summer interning at civil court you can be sued for anything. Espically in states with real liberal civil laws like New York. They would have alot more to sue you for then most of the cases that I have seen. No matter what you would still have to get a lawyer. And while you don't have to take anyone you cannot discriminate as liberally as you think. Besides he is already a student you have a contract with him. Be careful I gurrentee there are going to be some major martial arts law suites on the horizon. I know a wrestling club that got shut down for a kids broken arm the parents sued for like 1000000 dollars got the club shut down and settled out of court. Them damn lawyers rule the world.

Originally posted by lvwhitebir

By the way, how did this situation turn out for you?

WhiteBirch

Thanks for the interest, we are a private club, so no one can sue us for not training them, plus we have no contracts, so that fixes that. The situation actually fixed itself, the woman decided she was not goign to let anyone keep her from training, so she decided to continue to train. I'm guessing he saw her confidence, or her big black level husband, and decided to find someone weaker, because after that first week of "interesting" classes, he pulled out and hasn't been seen around again. :confused:
Oh well, saved me alot of stress and made the whole situation alot better!! Thank God, because I was really stressing over it too!!

Thanks for asking,
7sm

good for you guys glad it worked out well

Originally posted by GouRonin

Just because he's a guy doesn't mean he's guilty.

Having been accused of rape it's not something that you throw around lightly. I went to court to get myself cleared and in the process still have a court order on my exgirlfriend to this day that does not allow her to come within 500 meters of me or contact me at all. Why did she do it? Well, of course because then I would HAVE to have contact with her. Luckily the dates she claimed it happened I was actually in church at the time. (Yeah, I know, go figure) But until the court date I was harrassed by people and accused WITHOUT trial! Did I say WITHOUT TRIAL!? I'm sure I did. That's where I get to tell my side of the story and have actual proof I wasn't anywhere near her when her "story" happened. Yeah, people like you and your holier than thou crap sought fit to judge me because of what one woman said.

Of course the restraining order doesn't mean squat since she stalked me for 2 years and I had to move and change phone numbers, addresses, go unlisted, have my mail re-routed at one point... Because a woman doesn't stalk men and we're supposed to be able to handle this sort of thing. After all, we're men. When police say that women have a tough time getting restraining orders to mean something well, at least for women they might mean something. If it's a guy people laugh. But it's not so funny when you're being accused of things you never did. Let's list a few.

In fact her psychiatrist attempted to get legal exception for her to contact me so she could have me involved in her therapy so she could get well. (At my expense) It was fun having the psychiatrist blame me for having her license suspended for breaking the order and contacting me. Yet, it was her own fault.

In the meantime I also had to deal with legal wrangling about a supposed pregnancy that never happened. It's funny how some agencies will actually demand that you pay child support before they know if there is even a child or not. All because she said so. Just on her word. Of course when the doctor she claimed did the abortion said she was not pregnant...ever...I barely got an apology. nevermind the fact that the dates she gave for the supposed sex, I WAS IN CHURCH and I had legal proof of it.

Oh wait, did I mention that she would regularily tell her new boyfriends I'd raped her or run out on her and our supposed child? That I'd find some freak who wanted to do the right thing in my face and I'd end up fighting them?

Words cannot express the feelings I am having at the moment. There is a reason that people are innocent until proven guilty. Unless of course it's by feminazi's who have the moral high ground.

I'm not saying that this guy is innocent or that this girl isn't telling the truth. I'm saying get all the facts.
:soapbox:

(* Please note: There are many a bad guys out there but when women act like the above and below, it makes it difficult. Innocent until proven guilty except when it is your ex-wife to be or ex girlfriend and then you have to prove it yourself months later *)

:soapbox:
Gou and victims,

Wow this sounds so familiar. Just like my divorce, my ex-wife to be shows up with her boyfriend, how is there to kill me or at least put me in the hospital. They called first though. So, I called 911. It was a night mare trying to convince the lady at the other end I was serious. I called when they showed up, and got the same person. She told me she was going to send out an officer to talk to me tomorrow for abusing the 911 service. I asked if she would kindly send one out now so the officer could talk to my ex to be and her boy friend.

My ex's plan was to get in a fight with me have her boyfriend step in and then have either her or the boyfriend get hurt so I could go to jail for domestic violence. As, It was not worth the trouble I just called for help, and had problems with it.

When the female officer showed up, all she was tolled was there was a domestic in progress. (* An officers worst night mare *). So, when she saw the two of them standing in the garage, and me on the porch she drew her gun and had me walk toward her and her car. I had to assume the position on the ground and be molested by her. Do you know how they check to see if you have anything stored in the crotch of your pants, the slap or ridge-hand your testicles / groin. After this abuse I was put in cuffs and then told to shut up and get into the car. The only thing I had said up to that point was Yes Ma'am. So the female officer went and talked to my ex to be and her boyfriend and decided that since neither of them had called, she could leave. By this time, back up arrived and she quickly un-cuffed me and told me to keep my mouth shut. (* Guilty??? Feeling??? *) She explained to the Sargent in that she was going to leave since neither of them had called. The Sargent then turned to me and said is this true? Then who called? I looked at the female office and asked, "May I answer the question? Ma'am" The Sargent then replied, I asked you the question talk to me. I then explained how I called twice to 911 for help and this officer showed and restrained me and would not allow me to inform her my concerns or what happened. The female officer than informed that she was leaving again. I asked for a police report. She refused. I asked the Sargent. The female officer stated that the law was only for women. And before I could reply the Sargent told her nope it is for any spouse. She then proceeded to finally ask me what happened and took my statement, and then went and asked the ex and her boyfriend. He admitted to the phone call and that he said he was going to kill me, because the ex told him I was beating her. So, the officer took their side, and even after admission of guilt, she delayed 5 days before filling her report. Key Note: The ex-wife did not need a police report to file a personal protection order against me, claiming numerous beating and broken bones, etc., ..., . The court would not allow me to file against here with some proof, like a police report. So, she got her PPO but she kept breaking it herself and showing up to the house. Yes it was technically and legally half hers, and to be sold as part of the divorce proceedings. So, I could not lock her out, since she could break in and damage the place and no charges could be filled since she owned the place with me. I talked to my Lawyer and police friends, there was nothing I could about the Female Officer nor about the PPO. I could fight it and waste more money and time and delay the divorce even more or I could just abide with it for 12 month and it would go away. Well after numerous times of her showing up to the house either before I got home or afterwards, I had to call the police to ask her to get out. Her PPO said she did not live there, and that I did, but I could not go in while she was there. After many of her temper tantrums and episodes in front of the police they petitioned the Judge so I could file for a PPO of my own. This would allow the police to arrest her if showed up again. The judge believed that counter PPO's were a waste of time and that they were petty. The fact that I got one against her after her PPO, hurt her case in the long run. My Lawyer did ask me point blank did I ever hit her or attack her? I replied with the truth, I never had hit her. Proof he asked for if needed? I replied that there is no record or witness of this or anyother event taking place, no hospital no police records, this is all I can offer. Given my ex's actions I did not have to prove these things, otherwise I would have been in trouble I believe, since they all beleived her in the first place.

My Step Brother had a women stalk him and then file a PPO against him just for the attention. He had to clear all this up and it almost cost him his job since they worked for the same large corporation.


My Point is that I agree with GOU!, Please Innocent until proven guilty. Do, not judge and convict without due process.

My best wishes go out all those who have been the victim of abuse no matter their sex, it is not fair nor is it right.

Rich
:asian:

Only the victim of abuse can do anything that will resolve the issue. Leave the relation, file charges, etc, . Just my Opinion.
(* edited for spelling *)

Rich Parsons
Thats a horrible story and happens way to often I believe, I'm truly sorry for your misfortune there, I've had some of the same things happen to myself, and its not fun at all.
In this case the issue was resolved without any action at all, on anyones behalf. The guy showed up at her apartment complex a coupld times afterwards, she got pictures of him, so if need be she could probably get a restraining order, but no need as of now, he hasen't shown his face again, and I am so happy it ended this way!

7sm

Originally posted by GouRonin

Ya know, if you think about it 16 bucks a month for a retainer doesn't sound bad. ... Heck, I don't even work for Mr. Hall and I'm thinking this might be a good idea.

Gou, if you can't leave after 3000 posts if you are going to start helping me out. :eek:

This is actually a family plan that covers your entire family with some services (there is a business version of course), but as Mr. Billings (and he does work with the law) very kindly pointed out (on another thread it looks like, oops), the family plan offers you civil lawsuit defense. If you smoke some turkey who was trying to attack you he will sue you afterward if he can. I mean, he was probably after your money anyway right?

I know an ex Asst. Police Chief named Mike who teaches handgun certification who had a student defend himself in downtown Austin a few years ago. Mike's student Paul was attacked by someone who "appeared" to then go for a gun. Paul shot his attacker twice like Mike taught him to do. Later the attacker's family sued and the DA (for some reason) also pressed charges against him. Paul's church dumped him, he lost his business, friends quit talking to him, he went broke and lost his house I think. But he won the cases. He'd have been better off perhaps to give the guy his wallet don't you think? Had he been my client, he would have saved a LOT of money.

This is one of the reasons Mike gives out my info to his handgun students. I think he tells them in class that if they shoot and kill someone, self-defense or not, they are going to be booked and they are probably going to speak with a Grand Jury. And hopefully, that will be that, but you never know.

Anyone can sue anyone in Civil Court for just about any reason. Unfortunately this means that you may have to spend some money just to prove that you should not be being sued... this plan takes care of that in most cases. I think martial artists and especially school owners particularly need this. I think the average person is more likely to need "Legal Self Defense" than they will need actual "Self Defense" like vs a mugger.

Recent statistics in the US indicate that 3 times more lawsuits are filed in a year than there are hospital admissions. You could say that you are 3 times more likely to be sued than you are to go to the hospital. And it can be just as expensive to be sued. This plan is an affordable way to cover that possibility.

I would not want to defeat 1-3 muggers and then go broke defending myself in court. What would be the point? :eek:

Originally posted by 7starmantis

Rich Parsons
Thats a horrible story and happens way to often I believe, I'm truly sorry for your misfortune there, I've had some of the same things happen to myself, and its not fun at all.
In this case the issue was resolved without any action at all, on anyones behalf. The guy showed up at her apartment complex a coupld times afterwards, she got pictures of him, so if need be she could probably get a restraining order, but no need as of now, he hasen't shown his face again, and I am so happy it ended this way!

7sm

7sm,

THanks for the positive response, this was years ago, I am over it now (* Twitch :D *) . Honestly, it was bad to live through it. I survivied and did what I had to do for myself. I am better for that. I happy that the issue has been resolved and that the lady in question is not concerned with the problem anymore. I stil think that if it is serious enough for you to be afraid go toal to someone like a police officer or a lawyer. Yes it might cost you some money, but what is that for your life and freedom?

Ciao

Rich
:asian:

Originally posted by Rich Parsons

I stil think that if it is serious enough for you to be afraid go toal to someone like a police officer or a lawyer. Yes it might cost you some money, but what is that for your life and freedom?

Ciao

Rich
:asian:

I agree completely, but we can't make people do things they don't want to do, I wish we could! I counceled her to do exactly that, but she has to make the decision herself. I've never been raped so I don't completely understand the effects of it, so I can't judge her, but I do wish she would speak with someone. As I understand it she has pictures of him at their residence, so I believe she is speaking with an attourney about a restraingin order.
Thanks for the advice everyone!

7sm