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GuruJim1
01-29-2006, 02:00 AM
OOOPS!!!

Actual writings from hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she
was very hot in bed last night.
5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a
year.
6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it
disappeared.
7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to
be depressed.
8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but
forgetful.
11. Patient had waffl! es for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
12. She is numb from her toes down.
13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.
14. The skin was moist and dry.
15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.
19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical
therapy.
20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
25. Patient ! has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

barriecusvein
01-29-2006, 11:18 AM
:lol::lol::lol::lol: i bet this is what JD from scrubs writes on his patients charts...

tshadowchaser
01-29-2006, 11:36 AM
those are great thanks

bluemtn
01-29-2006, 05:39 PM
That's funny! My mom is an RN- I have to show her these!

7starmantis
01-30-2006, 12:58 PM
Haha, those are awesome, I've actually come across a few like those in the ER!

7sm

hemi
01-30-2006, 05:35 PM
LMAO so that’s what 4 to 8 years of Med school will get you. Hahahaha

Shirt Ripper
01-30-2006, 05:45 PM
17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.


Oh my...

bignick
01-30-2006, 06:59 PM
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

Clowns with big shoes for a reason, eh?

bdparsons
01-31-2006, 02:03 PM
Was the title of this thread intentional--or a "booper"?

???

Lisa
01-31-2006, 02:06 PM
18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life,
until she got a divorce.

OMG! that is sooooo funny! :rofl:

Cujo
01-31-2006, 11:46 PM
Very funny, but now I'm afraid to look at my own medical charts.

Pax
Cujo