Keeping your Martial Arts knowledge and skills secret

[Tony]

I choose to keep the fact i study martial arts a secret froma lot of my people. Only my friends and family know i do it but not the people i work with or my neighbours. I never show off but time at work i was caught practicing my kicks and did feel very embarrassed. The guy that saw me was very friendly and we did talk about martial arts as he had studied soem karate. Thankgod he didn't ask em to demonstrate or show any self defence techniques as i might have messed up and he would laughed at me. I wasn't that experienced at the time and wasn't doing any sparring but since then i have got a lot better. I was only there a short time anyway as the job didn't work out and if i had stayed i woudl ahve had to have cut my Martial Arts trainign short and theres no way I could ahve let that happen.

No one at my current job know i study Kung fu as I never put that down on my CV as one of my hobbies. The reason i don't like to tell people is i woudl be used as some kind of performing clown for public amusement like i was back at school. Back at school i had no formal trainign but had learnt a little from my sister's friend so i had some decent high kicks and coudl already at 15 do the splits which people loved to see.

Telling people taht i study a martial art can lead to all sorts of unwanted attention and people wanting to prove themselves because they feel insecure that i might be better at something than they are or just dismissive of Martial Arts in general. Today i was at work telling a colleage about te new gym i went to and how i had a fitness test which i did well at. He asked me what i did to keep fit and i said i do some exercises at home but i woudl ahve loved to ahve toldl him i do martial arts but i don't want everyone at work to know. I want people to like me for who i am and not the entertainment value.

The only time any of my work colleagues should find out i do a martial art is if we are in a situation where it is needed and i manage to handle myself adequately but then again i think i keep it a secret because i lack confidence. There was one time when i was just about to enter my Martial Arts class and a work colleague saw me just outside waiting to go on ( a work colleague from a former job) and said Hi to me but I don't think he saw me actually participating as the next day he was in the ofice with the the guy i worked wiht everyday saying he saw me at this kickboxing class (not knowing it was kung fu) to which i said i was just watching after my gym work out.

[Kacey]

Most people who know me know that I teach TKD; given that it occasionally conflicts with work (being a teacher, I sometimes need to miss after-school events because they are at the same time as my TKD class) it was inevitable that it come out, and I haven't had any particular problems - in fact, I have held demonstrations at my middle school occasionally and they have been quite popular - and the kids quite well-behaved afterwards.

I do know people who don't tell their friends because they consider it a private part of their lives - I even know one BB who didn't tell his parents he was in TKD until he reached BB, which he did by inviting them to his testing (all he told them was to show up at a certain time and place).

I think that it's up to you - if you want to share, do so, and if you don't, then don't.

[Drac]

I think its a personal choice..Most of my brothers and sisters in the LE community know that I study and teach, it's led to some informal demonstrations and hopefully increased their interest in training..My opinion for what its worth..

[FearlessFreep]

I don't really keep it a secret. It comes up too naturally in conversation; same as being a musician, being a Christian, being a husband, being a father, being a computer programmer. It's too much a part of my life that it would feel akward and unnatural for me to keep it a secret. I don't go around overtly talking abuot it "Hey, you should've seen that spinning back kick I planted this guy with at sparring class last night" but since class schedules and training impact social schedules, etc... and other kinds of conversations sorta involve what you do with your spare time, I don't hide it either.

Being a 36yo computer programmer working corporate IT though, I don't get requests for 'demonstrations' or anything.

[MJS]

For me, I'd say it depends on the situation. If I feel that someone is going to ask serious questions, and not just ask a question for the sake of humor, then I usually have no problem discussing what I do.

Mike

[evenflow1121]

There are ups and downs to it, now while you certainly dont want to become an attention whore, there are a lot of positive reasons as to why you may want to share your martial arts training experience with other people.

[FearlessFreep]

I'll add that I don't talk about my martial arts training in social contexts among strangers. That could attract attention in a very wrong way

[DeLamar.J]

I think its best to keep secret. Some people use the fact that they study martial arts as an identity and there only source of respect. Quite pathetic in a way, and usually those are the ones who cant even fight.

[jdinca]

I don't advertise it, but I don't hide it either. I wear MA t-shirts on a regular basis and I practice in the parking lot at work, which was basically like putting out a general e-mail to all employees. There are three ways to get information out, television, telephone and tell a fireman.

[TheBattousai]

I don't advertise it, but I don't hide it either. I wear MA t-shirts on a regular basis and I practice in the parking lot at work, which was basically like putting out a general e-mail to all employees. There are three ways to get information out, television, telephone and tell a fireman.

I'm with you on this, unless its someone close (cause I try to get them to join). Or if I over hear someone looking for a school among friends and co-workers, then I tell them. I don't train in public places, but I wear a t-shirt from time-to-time. Its definalty advised not tell everyone.

[Swordlady]

I never really kept my MA training a secret, but I didn't publicly advertise it either. Some of classmates back in high school *did* figure out I was taking Tae Kwon Do (I got into a minor confrontation and instinctively went into a fighting stance - though no punches were thrown). Most of my friends and acquaintances know I'm training again, but I don't disclose too much of what I'm learning. I don't let people know my exact skill level in a given martial art.

[Phoenix44]

I'd find it very hard to keep it secret. Like FearlessFreep, it's what I do: kids, work, martial arts.

[Grenadier]

For me, there's no need to exhibit the skills if they're not needed. My private life isn't anyone else's business (unless I want them to know), and the fewer details that I give about it, the better, as far as I am concerned.

Amongst friends, eventually, someone might find out what I do. Since they're friends, I really don't have to worry about them, since they respect my wish for privacy. Most of them are trained in the martial arts anyways, and think in similar manners.

[tshadowchaser]

i don't kep it a secreat but I don't go tellong everyone I meet that I study in the first minute after meeting them.
I wear martial art related shirts from many schools and systems and ususly tell those who dont know me that the school( on the shirt) is located in in whatever town and I know people from the school. If questioned if I study I usualy tell them i have a little experence but that i am just a student learning the arts

[terryl965]

I really do not let people know, but at the same time most people know I'm in the Art because of the school. Kinda of a double edge sword some people try to use it in a way that makes them feel better inside and some just do not care for there training is a journey and not for show.
Terry

[TigerWoman]

I always thought that TKD was the best biggest secret in town. Nobody knew about it. At first I didn't tell anyone either, especially about my humble beginnings. Then as others have said, it comes out in conversation as in I can't go to lunch these days because of classes. Or they say, hey, I saw you at that demo. Actually the newspaper wrote me up when I tested for black belt at age 50 with a picture of me looking wasted at the end. ;)People are curious about it. I found the more I talk about it, the more they get interested and come in or send their children in. I guess I am a walking advertisement as to why they can't also be in TKD. But I drew the line in class when the master wants me to put my age down at each and every class on the sign-in sheet. I suppose to show parents and 30 somethings, it is not too late but...really!

Yes, it is a private journey, and I don't regale everyone with all my details. Even my relatives in town, don't know much more than that I am in it. And, I don't advertise it to strangers who might want to prove something. But on the other hand, most people don't think they have what it takes to even start and they don't understand what it is all about. So I talk about it to those interested. And I don't talk about it because I'm pathetic, or want attention, or don't have self-worth, as martial arts is only one facet to my life. I wouldn't be in TKD unless it gave something to me, but if I didn't share it, I wouldn't be carrying on the tradition of bringing it to others. Share what you love, others may love it as well. Its kind of like being on MT. For awhile I thought it was a real time blackhole (maybe still is), it does bring information and support to those that are interested. After all, it was one of the reasons I've stayed in my much loved TKD. TW

[evenflow1121]

Sometimes you just draw connections with people. For example a very good friend of mine is quite proficient in the Jhoon Rhee system and when I had just met him, he was wearing a TKD shirt. So one question led to the other and all of a sudden he knew that I studied kenpo and I knew about his TKD background. However, at the same time, I would never go around flaunting or telling everyone I know what I study.

[Henderson]

It may be off topic, but the other day a co-worker of mine had an acquaintence come into the store. This acquaintence was wearing one of those stupid "A Black Belt isn't something you wear..." sweatshirts, had the cheesy little 2" obi key-ring, and was telling Brian about preparing for his "4th-degree" test. Brian says to the guy, "Oh, Frank does karoddee too". I could have killed him.:whip: The guy asked "what style?" I just said that I train in a few different arts and acted like I was really busy.

[jbclinic]

depending on what you say determines you saticfaction of the system/art you practice that anyone should know in depth

[Henderson]

depending on what you say determines you saticfaction of the system/art you practice that anyone should know in depth

I'm not sure I understand what you meant by this. Can you elaborate please?

[Dalum]

It's not like we study t3h s3cr3t uber art. It's all about who you are comfortable with and what you are willing to say. I worked in a cruddy restaraunt not too long ago. Someone caught word that I study and teach. 1 guy was cool about it and we talked a bit about styles and studies. Some snotty woman doubted everything I said when she asked me and asked that I do some stuff there at work. I refused since it wasn't proper to do anything like that ESPECIALLY on a greasy floor.

[OnlyAnEgg]

I do not keep it secret and I have no plans to do so; MA is as much who I am (as was stated earlier) as anything else in my life. Perhaps, even, a bit more.

I have a sticker on my car and a t-shirt in my drawer for my school. I have several MA shirts that I wear on ocassion. Not today, though. The competitions I've attended, especially the larger ones, have published results in the local paper. I was just questioned by a guy here at work about the last comp and I was happy to talk to him about it.

The only secret I keep is where it hurts :)

[IcemanSK]

I started my TKD carreer in high school. I wasn't one of those guys w/ an outgoing personality & loads of athletic skill. I was that guy that when you asked people who I was they said, "Oh yeah, what's-his-name." MA became the only place I really felt like I belonged. So I always carried BB magazine w/ me & MA was what I talked about. All the time. Truth be told, I don't remember high school very well. It was just what I did in between TKD class. My 20 year reunion was this year & I choose not to go. Cuz the only folks I remember are the ones I trained with. And I still keep in touch with them.

It took me a long time, but I learned that MA just isn't the big deal to most folks that it is to be. Anymore than the Bears or Dodgers are to others. It still wear jackets (although not satin ones anymore:) ) & the occasional shirt, but I don't talk about it much to folks that aren't already involved in it.

[arnisador]

Like Disco Stu, I don't advertise. Why invite trouble, or forewarn an opponent of your possible advantage? But I am happy to discuss it with friends and colleagues (and strangers on martial arts boards).

[Dalum]

Like Disco Stu, I don't advertise. Why invite trouble, or forewarn an opponent of your possible advantage? But I am happy to discuss it with friends and colleagues (and strangers on martial arts boards).

Haha! It's those darn strangers that you have to watch out for. LOL!

[karatekid1975]

I don't go around telling people. But my friends know (they are also in MA, except for one and I am trying to get her to join). People at work know because my class schedule. I told my boss that I can not work certain nights. Her cousin is one of my instructors, so she knows anyways.

I am also looking for a day job so that I will have nights and weekends free for MA. When I do get a new job, I won't tell anyone, unless I over-hear someone talking about joining or is interested.

[Henderson]

I am also looking for a day job so that I will have nights and weekends free for MA.

Aren't we all? *heavy sigh*

[fireman00]

I was always told by my first instructor that as a martial artist I should be wary of "posturing" (don't practice in the park on the town square, don't wear the black belts kick butt shirt/ jacket/ hat or go around bragging that I'm a black belt) 'cuz there's always going to be some clown somewhere that would love to cold cock a martial artist for bragging rights.

I do where t-shirts around the house or to the dojang but not when I'm going to be out and about.

Family and friends know about my black belt, business aquaintences are told only if I'll need to take a day off before a b/b test or if I'm limping around the day after a hard night of sparring and they ask what happened. :) I don't consider it a hobby so it doesn't go on a resume or any other type of form that asks for personal info.

[Bigshadow]

You should always hide your weapons until you need them. Showing them at the right moment (when it is too late for the enemy). I take this to also mean hiding your martial knowledge, bringing it out only when needed. Just my thoughts.

[Henderson]

You should always hide your weapons until you need them. Showing them at the right moment (when it is too late for the enemy). I take this to also mean hiding your martial knowledge, bringing it out only when needed. Just my thoughts.

I agree with David.

[Old Fat Kenpoka]

My friends know about my training. After all, I have to tell them about it when they ask how I met my wife...

But I don't usually tell co-workers. About 20 years ago a coworker drove by the dojo and saw me teaching through the front window. She told everyone in the office. Some coworkers were chatting with me about it when my boss decided to sneak up behind me and give me a surprise skill test. He grabbed my neck as-if he were going to do a rear-naked choke. I instinctively reacted with a basic Kenpo technique of elbow-to solarplexus followed by hammerfist to groin. Before he could even say "what would you do if...", he found out exactly what I would do. Anyway, it was all in good fun. Fortunately, people are much smarter about martial arts training now and don't usually do such stupid stuff.

[FearlessFreep]

You should always hide your weapons until you need them. Showing them at the right moment (when it is too late for the enemy). I take this to also mean hiding your martial knowledge, bringing it out only when needed. Just my thoughts.

If you tell your family and friends...it makes Christmas and birthday shopping a lot easier

[karatekid1975]

Aren't we all? *heavy sigh*

It'll happen ;) I have faith ..... I think.

Good one FearlessFreep ;) It does, doesn't it hehehehehe (more MA toys WHOOOHOOO :D ).

[Bigshadow]

If you tell your family and friends...it makes Christmas and birthday shopping a lot easier
Well, my close family and friends know about my training, but to them it is generically known as Karate (nothing offense intended, Karate is more well known word describing a martial art). Anyway, it doesn't really help Christmas and birthdays, I am too picky and they would most likely get the wrong brand, model, etc. To me, my training is a very personal thing, sort of a spiritual thing (not in a religous manner), not some fanciful hobby.

But I get what you mean... :D

[jbclinic]

weather it's MA or life the world is our manual to growth so you have to ask yourself," life contributing or self-defense" when does the secerte starts

[Carol]

I haven't kept it a secret at all. I love it too much. It's become part of my identity and part of my lifestyle.

Perhaps some of the advantages to me disclosing it have to do with my appearance. I'm 5' 2" and very feminine...and many of my colleagues get scared that I'll kill myself trying to heft around a rack of computers. Now that I train, it is a lot easier for me to reassure the folks that I work with that I can move stuff around without getting hurt.

I think there is a bit of a double-standard. The reaction that I get from friends or neighbors is that they think it's great that I am learning how to protect myself. If I were an average-sized guy, I'm not sure if I'd be met with the same enthusiasm.

[SAVAGE]

I think its best to keep secret. Some people use the fact that they study martial arts as an identity and there only source of respect. Quite pathetic in a way, and usually those are the ones who cant even fight.

HMMMMMM...my martial arts is my identity...everything I do apart from that is just to fill time between training and make enough money to pay for said training....except for my family it is largely who I am!

I do not hide it and I am not forthcoming about it....I will tell if I am asked...but if not I keep it on the down low!

As for MA being m identity..I dont feel pathetic..and from my days as a bouncer I have been known to crack the odd head together in the name of peace in the club...I am not boastful but I feel you have picked up a VERY broad brush and painted 95% of martial artists...which one of us here doesnt use MA as a identity..it is ingrained as apart of who we are....how large a part is the variable...but to some extent MA is the practitioner!

[rutherford]

I'm in the group that doesn't advertise, but is perfectly willing to talk about it if it happens to come up. And, in fact that's how I found the Aikido group I'm going to spend some time with. I was just talking with a co-worker, who I'd known for over a year and who didn't know about my MA background. When it came up, she gave me the tip about her husband's training group and it was just when I was ready to go and check them out.

Things which you let happen in their own time often turn out to be happy coincidences.

[searcher]

Mr. Miyagi gave some of the best advice to Daniel-san in the first Karate Kid movie when he was asked why he did not tell Daniel. "You never ask." It is good enough for me. It is kind of like the Don't ask, don't tell. But even not talking about it, in time people are going to find out, just keep it on the down low and they will drop it.

[Rich Parsons]

I keep it "need to know" , or deal with it as is comes up in discussion.

I was at one job and this guy shoved me. I was in a tight spot, stepped back and tripped on cables on the ground. (* would not pass and audit today *) I had a couple of options. Break fall and no one gets hurts. Bring him with me and he possible hurts me by landing on me. Or I use him as a pillow and he is guarenteed to get hurt. I had grabbed him instictively, and then let go of him to avoid injury. He was shocked. His comment, "I thought you were a black belt and untouchable." My comment," I explained how he could have been my pillow, or head his head hit the wall in trying or I coudl let go and fall and no one gets hurts. Besides rank has no indication on being touched."

A couple of other times, I have had some real over the top Union guys come at me. I explained to one not to touch me again. Not to poke me with his finger. He smiled and said "why not?" as he poked me. I did a finger lock on him, took him to the floor and stated, " while you are down there, ... " . I thne stood him up and dusted him off and most of the others around did nto understand what happened. He then apologized for touching me.

Another time I went into a lab, not knowing the rules of not wearing a tie Christmas week, so this guy jumps me with what I think is a knife. I did a pass and joint lock and then a strip disarm and realized that it was a pair of scissors. I put the scissors down and left the lab, and went and told my boss. The boss laughed his butt off. He told me not to worry about getting fired as no Union guy was going to file charges against an engineer for what I did. He would be laughed at by his brothers too much. I still worried.

So, in one case I stood up for myself. In another I reacted and it turned out ok, and I can smile at it now.

Although in the current job I have, I post my seminars up in my cube that are benefit seminars in case anyone wishes to donate to the cause at hand. So many know that I train. They all get wierd when they find out I teach it and have been doing it for 20 years and do seminars. So, I do not lie about it, I do not keep it a secret, I also do not go around obviously practicing in public or showing off.

There are good and bad points to everything, but in general I support keeping it need to know.

[DeLamar.J]

HMMMMMM...my martial arts is my identity...everything I do apart from that is just to fill time between training and make enough money to pay for said training....except for my family it is largely who I am!

I do not hide it and I am not forthcoming about it....I will tell if I am asked...but if not I keep it on the down low!

As for MA being m identity..I dont feel pathetic..and from my days as a bouncer I have been known to crack the odd head together in the name of peace in the club...I am not boastful but I feel you have picked up a VERY broad brush and painted 95% of martial artists...which one of us here doesnt use MA as a identity..it is ingrained as apart of who we are....how large a part is the variable...but to some extent MA is the practitioner!Are you the guy who says, Hi my name is >>>>, and I am a black belt?

[cali_tkdbruin]

The martial arts are just one facet of my life. It's become a very important part now, but it's not the only one. When I first started training a while back I wanted to share with everyone that I was a budding martial artist, but I didn't. Now, its not important to me to publicize the fact that I train in the MAs. Only my family and close friends know that I train in the arts.

If someone asks then I'll share with them that I am a martial artist. My co-workers didn't know what I do in my off time. It was only when one noticed my TKD gear in the back seat of my car and asked if I did Karate. I opened up and told him that yeah I do train in the arts, and that I am a Taekwondo practitioner...:uhyeah: