I am finding it increasingly difficult to find time to train. I have been told I train too much and that is why it is difficult to find the time to train with a career and a family.

At one point I was at the dojo 5 days a week, 2+hours per day, and had private lessons in the afternoons a couple days a week.
Now I am lucky to get 1 hour a day of training in.

It seems to me that the guys have a much easier time getting to the dojo on a regular basis. Perhaps this is why there are fewer women involved.

So let's hear it ladies, when do you fit training in your schedule? How long do you train and how often? Do you feel family and careers put constraints on your ability to train like the men?

Hey there...


I usually go 4 times a week... they are 1hr sessions.. I work during the day.. and the classes are at 8pm at night.. so i have no problem attending class.. i actually look forward to it.. and i'm anxiously awaiting to get my green belt so i can take the advanced classes and then stay for the 2 hours..
I guess for me its easy... during the week there isn't much going on so i find myself being able to attend.. but i do take some nights off to go and visit my friends...

Thats all..

Hey Eraser,

I just noticed you are located in Windsor - maybe you could come and visit Kenpo Girl and I here in London to do some training/sparring sometime.

Could be interesting don't you agree?

First of all, I'm a man - hey don't blame me!
Time is a very difficult issue.I usually only teach 2 classes a week ( we have several other instructos), and I try to train along with the students as much as possilbe.Other than that , most days me and my wife get the kids to bed and then I practise at home for 45 min or so. Any longer cuts into our time together.I think training alone becomes easier the longer you have been practising.
lifewise -"it seems guys have an easier time getting to the dojo", thats low and here I am with out my cup.
:EG:
p.s if you all prrefer that us heathen males don't post here, I completly undersand.

Being the social butterfly that I am (NOT). I find I need to train in a studio. I've tried training at home for the last year, with very little success. I need people around to motivate me.

Luckily, I am only responcible for myself, so I can spend nearly everyday at the school. Though when I take night courses, it does get harder, study or go beat up a punching bag, a pretty tough decision some times. Until about a week before exams, then it gets a lot easier. ;)

I don't know how I would balance things, kids, hubby, work. Where do you set your priorities?

dot
:asian:

Originally posted by fissure

lifewise -"it seems guys have an easier time getting to the dojo", thats low and here I am with out my cup.
:EG:



Hey Fissure - my comment that guys seem to have an easier time getting to the dojo is based on what I have experienced. No low shots intended! :)

I don't think I have heard one of the guys say they can't make it to a class, or even a camp for that matter because they needed to be home with the kids/wife. When I am asked why I never go to camps and seminars - I simply can't give up an entire weekend with the family for these events ... yet many of the guys don't seem to think twice.

I would love to see more women training in the martial arts as well. The benefits would be numerous - but in order to do that maybe schools should look at the times they offer classes in order to get more women involved.

My husband was always great about giving me the time to train when the kids were younger. Now the kids just don't want to see mom go out every night and miss our evening time together. I honestly don't know how/when/if I will get training as much as I would like.

Lifewise...

Sure that would be great.... DO you have classes on Sat?? that would be the only day that I could attend... cuz i work from 7am-4pm... Let me know.. im sure we could work something out!!

I go to as many classes as I can during the summer, and before I went to college. During school, however, it's tough x_x I do manage some training on my own, but more often than not, being trapped in the College Bubble prevails. I do make it to clinics, and every so often I'll get to class in a school of my system near my college town, but definately not as often as when I'm at home.

I thought this was a pressing issue, and considered waiting until I graduated from college to test for Shodan, when i could "devote more time" to it. But, as it was pointed out to me by a classmate, college is cake when compared to how busy real life gets, so I figured I'd better start working now at making training a habit, and not just a hobby.

I would agree, though, it is very hard to train on your own when so many things are going on! I've been habit-building all summer to prepare for school this year, as I hope to be a more diligent trainee than past years at college.

I left high school at 16. Moved out and went to college at 17. Had kid by 19. Graduated school at age22. Had second kid at age 23. Thru the whole thing worked full time.

SO getting to the dojo for 6 hours a week is no big deal. I have always been busy. The biggest bi*ch is when I am up at 4 AM milking cows and the kempo class is at 8 to 9 PM. Makes for a long day-

My house is always a mess. Hey, I have priorities. The kids and animals are well cared for, and that is what matters.


I just bring the kids with me to the dojo. They have a little playroom/lounge and that is thier second home

So far I haven't had any problems making time.. I run my fathern'laws mail order business during the day.. work on the Schools projects and do multiple other things.. then off to the studio 5 nights a week.. I have it made.. but when Seig gets this Police Job, things will change I'm sure.. plus the college semester is going to be starting up soon and that entails Long Tuesdays and Thursdays.. But I love it all :)

Hey Eraser,

I can't give you a time or date right now and will explain in an email. I do need an email address for you however.

Email me at toni@lifewisestudios.com and we can set up something.

Should be fun.:D

I have a lot of trouble finding time to train, since I live in riverside and work in downtown LA (about a 90-120 minute commute) and train in huntington beach (90 minutes from downtown) and then have to drive home after class (45 mins from huntington beach to riverside) which ends at 9 pm, and I have to get up at 4:00 am to get to work by seven. I usually go only once or twice a week, but I'm dating another martial artist, who outranks me by a large amount, so I bug him to train with me at home a lot. It works out well. I train at least twice a week with other people, and days I don't train with others, I work out by myself.

I 'got away with' spending time training as long as I was training with my oldest kid. It was my responsibility to find childcare for the baby to be able to go. I found that my husband eventually became suspicious of all the men at the dojo, and jealous of the time I spent paying attention to things MA rather than him, the house, and the kids, not to mention my full-time teaching career. It was nearly (but not quite) impossible to train as much as I felt I needed to in order to feel like I was making good progress. Nobody 'minded' my training, as long as it had no impact on their lives and they didn't have to do anything to accommodate me. I think it is a lot harder for mothers with husbands and young children to justify the time they spend away from home training. I think it takes enormous strength of will, great organizational skills, as well as family support to make it possible for moms to train. Many moms I've talked to feel guilty taking much time for themselves away from their families for activities that only they enjoy. Making a long-term committment to such a non-traditional activity for women is simply not an option for most young mothers. How many husbands are willing to sit home with the kids while their wives go out in the evening to train with, for the most part, a bunch of buff young men? Not in my community. :(

Well, I can say that I wish there was more time in the day/night so that I can go to the dojo more. I'm a full-time college student which can be stressful enough, especially when you get into the high division classes. Then I have priorities at home too. I figure since my parents are paying for classes that helping out at home isn't too much to ask, at least on my good days, but with the weather a lot of times the only time we can get anything done is at night when it cools down. That and the fact that my mom works almost 2 hrs. away and my dad is disabled so I'm left with picking up my younger brother from football practice. When I was working it was even worse because I had very little time to help at home, spend on my school work, and practice my techiques and stuff too. :erg: . If I can't make it to normal classes I do try to go to the college karate classes to try and get something in for the week. But I love going to the dojo, I'm surrounded by people that I get along with and have fun around, I'm not all stressed even though they tell me I need to relax, and it's actual time I get to do what I want to do and enjoy doing. In the end it's worth it.

Originally posted by tunetigress

I 'got away with' spending time training as long as I was training with my oldest kid... I found that my husband eventually became suspicious of all the men at the dojo, and jealous of the time I spent paying attention to things MA rather than him, the house, and the kids ... it is a lot harder for mothers with husbands and young children to justify the time they spend away from home training... making a long-term committment to such a non-traditional activity for women is simply not an option for most young mothers ... how many husbands are willing to sit home with the kids while their wives go out in the evening to train with, for the most part, a bunch of buff young men?


There are a lot of factors that account for the select few women I know that are able to train regularily at a dojo. In fact, I believe I am the only one of my MA friends that is a wife and mother.

I am lucky since my husband is fine with staying home to watch the kids but I feel guilty going out every night to train. I did this for a couple years and since training through private lessons for the past year or so I realized how much I missed being home with the husband and kids in the evening.

My solution - if I can attend daytime classes then I am happiest. I get the best of both worlds. My instructor has just opened his own school (London Martial Arts - London Ontario Canada) and I am happy to see so many daytime classes available to me during the lunch hour - that works great.

You have made some very valid comments Tune. These are all very good points and I think they require further discussion and have asked some views under the School Management forum.

:asian:

Originally posted by lifewise



I am lucky since my husband is fine with staying home to watch the kids but I feel guilty going out every night to train. I did this for a couple years and since training through private lessons for the past year or so I realized how much I missed being home with the husband and kids in the evening.



Yes, I guess 'lucky' is how I felt too, especially when people would ask me if my husband 'minded' me doing all that Kenpo training. But honestly, how many women are 'lucky' enough to have a husband or boyfriend that doesn't 'mind' if she trains? Most women I know have husbands who would mind, a lot in fact, especially if they got 'stuck' looking after their kids, or if it would cost any money for her to participate. How many MA schools provide a playroom, much less childcare??? How does a mother justify forking out a fair amount of cash to train if it is felt she could stay just as fit by staying home and watching aerobics videos? One woman told me her husband didn't want her to get all fit and buff, as he was afraid that other men might start 'bothering' her if she looked too good. I once asked my husband about that too, and sure enough, he agreed that he preferred if I was a bit on the chubby side, or other men might want me! Jeesh!! What the heck is all that about???

Having leaned on both sides of the fence, I see many very good reasons why there are so few women actively training in the Martial Arts, and I see many good reasons why women would thoroughly enjoy training, if it wasn't so dang hard to get over that fence in the first place. :(

Mod Note-

Reviving some good Threads.

~Tess
-MT S. Mod

Time.... yeah, that is especially my problem.

With my husband changing his work hours, he works at night. I still work during the day. That means that my training time during the evenings have been cut by 50% or more for me to be home with my four kids. I'm lucky to even go once a week during his off night. It is nearly impossible to find a night time sitter to watch my younger children.

At least, I still have my day time private lessons (1x a week). My instructor says he will try to help me stay caught up, but it is getting rather depressing for me now. I feel like I am forgetting my material and I can feel my muscle tone deteriorating. I am losing motivation here....

My two sons continue with their kenpo training in early evenings. In a sense, I feel kind of jealous. Training makes me feel happy, energetic, and alert. When I don't train, I tend to be more grouchy, snappy, and lethargic. I'm glad my boys still continue to love and enjoy their training. Unfortunately, there are no day time classes.

Well, I should count my blessings that I am still training; I may just progress at a much, much slower rate. My children do like having me home more. I just need to find a different physical activity I can do at home or during the day that will satisfy my intense need to keep active.

- Ceicei

Time is probably the one factor that can impact a our training the most. Whether you are a parent, a student or hold down a full time job or two, I think it becomes a balancing act really. There are times when I train more, like if I have a goal in mind, and during those times I have to "borrow" a little more time from my family to get to class during the week at night. Then there are times when my family must take presedence, so I find I am forced to train less because they need me, but as soon as my jeans begin to feel tight :lol: , well that's a good reminder that I need to focus on my training again for a bit. Now that my kids are in school I try to fit in some extra training during the day, but it is a little harder to be self motivated and that's why classes are the best for me, but you do what you have to do and what's best for your family and you! Sometimes that might mean waking up earlier or going to bed later to fit it all in, but it's definitely worth the effort!

Time is probably the one factor that can impact a our training the most. Whether you are a parent, a student or hold down a full time job or two, I think it becomes a balancing act really. There are times when I train more, like if I have a goal in mind, and during those times I have to "borrow" a little more time from my family to get to class during the week at night. Then there are times when my family must take presedence, so I find I am forced to train less because they need me, but as soon as my jeans begin to feel tight :lol: , well that's a good reminder that I need to focus on my training again for a bit. Now that my kids are in school I try to fit in some extra training during the day, but it is a little harder to be self motivated and that's why classes are the best for me, but you do what you have to do and what's best for your family and you! Sometimes that might mean waking up earlier or going to bed later to fit it all in, but it's definitely worth the effort! So when do you usually do your "extra training" if you get up earlier or go to bed later? :idunno: Is that extra training a class or just at home? I like the intensity of a workout in a dojo and the interaction with others.

- Ceicei

So when do you usually do your "extra training" if you get up earlier or go to bed later? :idunno: Is that extra training a class or just at home? I like the intensity of a workout in a dojo and the interaction with others.

- Ceicei Sorry CC I should have explained that better...I was referring to fitting it all in, so staying up later or getting up earlier allows me to have time to do other things like have my computer time, do the wash, clean whatever things I need/want to do. That way I am free to train during the day or at some of the night classes or Saturday's class. :)

It is definately a challenge to find the time to train, but it's important to me enough to force it into my schedule. I have had to drop my Kung Fu training for a while, when I make Shodan I plan to switch gears again and focus on leveling up in my Kung Fu style. For now I am strictly Kenpo.

I work a full time + job in a "mans" industry (Construction) and try to squeeze at least 3 classes in during the week. My oldest son and daughter take the teen class that is just before mine and hang out in the dojo's TV room while I take my class, my teenage sister-in-law who we are raising takes the adult class with me. My youngest son and my nephew's 3 year old that we are raising are in classes earlier in the day. My mom takes my 7 year old to his class during the day. I help teach the 3 year old's class on Tuesday and Thursday nights.

We make Saturday our Dojo day, while my husband is at his second hoby funding job and racing his RC cars we are in classes. We all have at least one class to attend on Saturdays and I teach a yoga class on Saturdays. The kids not in class are hanging out in the dojo's TV room or running around in the back room.

Our lives are much busier but also they are so much richer since we all started training together. I would not trade any of our busy time for sedentary "together" time infront of the boob tube.

I've found my ability to find the time for something in my life is directly proportional to my need for that activity in my life. Martial Arts became a need for me a very short time after I began my quest into it.

Enjoy yourself
Sheri

You're lucky you have a "TV room" at your dojo.

I wish I had something like that, a play room in the dojo, or even a drop-in child care nearby. With my daughters (2 & 4 years old), I just can't leave them to run around while I train. My sons, 10 & 12 years old, are also in training. With my husband working nights, it does make it a challenge. Most of the neighbors around me work, so none of them want to do child care at night, even if it is just 1-2 hours a week. I know I am lucky I still can train at least 50% of my previous time, but I think I'll be able to figure out something soon that will allow me to pick up the rest of my training.

- Ceicei

I am finding it increasingly difficult to find time to train. I have been told I train too much and that is why it is difficult to find the time to train with a career and a family.

At one point I was at the dojo 5 days a week, 2+hours per day, and had private lessons in the afternoons a couple days a week.
Now I am lucky to get 1 hour a day of training in.

It seems to me that the guys have a much easier time getting to the dojo on a regular basis. Perhaps this is why there are fewer women involved.

So let's hear it ladies, when do you fit training in your schedule? How long do you train and how often? Do you feel family and careers put constraints on your ability to train like the men?

Hey, I've got two kids (3months and 3 years) and my wife and I split everything 50/50. Mornings. I wake up at 4:30 every morning to practice and I usually stop at 6:30. Then its get the kids up and get ready for work. I don't know how you schedule it, but that worked for me. I found that working out in the evening took too much of my family time.

I also have a career and family. I realize your situation is different than mine, but I'll offer my experience and hope that there is some take-home message.

There was only one time in my life that I trained at the dojo 5+ days/week plus private lessons: that was when I was actively avoiding spending time with my husband. I should have been more insightful and more honest with myself, and filed for divorce years earlier than I did.

Now I teach one night per week, and train two additional times, (one night and one day). My partner and our kids are also martial artists, so if we choose to, we can train by ourselves at home. And I also train alone at home at times. It's enough.

I'm sure after years of training, you also have many techniques you can practice at home when you don't go to the dojo. Is it really even absolutely necessary to train 5-7 days/week? And as for advancement or progress, well, this is a lifelong pursuit, right? I'm sure you enjoy the journey as much as or more than the destination.

I can see that you miss the time you're not with your family. I hope you still take stock of your priorities, and feel good about your choices, rather than guilty.

Easy Peasy! I just don't sleep. I mean, honestly, eight WHOLE hours doing NOTHING? C'mon, who needs that?

I don't have kids. Thank god, I'd have sold them on Ebay by now. But occasionally I do take a little guff from the other importants in my life for the amount of time I spend training. Not because they mind the time away, honestly, there are several people living in my apartment, and rarely do any of us get home before 11. The only time I catch greif is when I let something important slide because I'm addicted to training. LOL. You know, business matters, groceries, clean clothes, that sort of ...fluff.

I guess I train about, mmm...8 hours in a given week. At the dojo. A few hours here and there practicing the odd kick and punch at the gym. Like most of you, I find I prefer the dojo; my art seems to demand that I have someone else around to give and take random joint abuse.

It's hard. I've got NOTHING but respect for you ladies who manage to juggle the spawn, the spouse, and everything in between. :) Kudos, ladies!

M