something I've noticed from helping teach and helping recruit students for my instructor... guys who don't train tend to hate it when their girlfriends take karate, but husbands who don't train tend to like it when their wives do... someone told me that its because a guy likes to protect his girlfriend, but that a husband likes knowing that his wife can take care of herself, even though he hopes she never has to...

I'm not sure if I've just run into a coincidental string of weird guys or if there's actually something to this...

gentlemen, what's your take on this observation?

My GF outranks me in 2 systems. Personally I feel better knowing she's got a chance out there.

Its funny, but I know exactly what you mean. Most guys I know seem to like being the 'knight'.

I dont mind being the 'knight' at times, but I like the fact she can handle things herself. :)

Originally posted by Kaith Rustaz

I dont mind being the 'knight' at times, but I like the fact she can handle things herself. :)

You hit the nail on the head with that 1 statement! (for myself
anyway)

I would soooo love it if my wife trained.

I cant remember when I wasnt married and my wife did study for a while but found out she prefered knife and handguns to fists and feet.
I think the guys may fell intimadated if they do not study. Or they make think the lady is a freak for wanting to kick and punch with other guys all the time.
In general they really have no idea what the lady is doing so it scares the hell out of them

Shadow:asian:

It would be nice, being single and all, to find a nice girl to date that was into martial arts.

The same art is not necessary, just the same level of understanding for each others passion. :D

I have seen these same attitudes myself. Yet, on the counter side I have dated some women, not all, that love it that you bounce or train in martial arts. 'Oh! Could you beat him UP???!!??'. For, some reason I do not seem to call these girls back for repeat dates after this. :(


Oh well Best wishes to all

Rich
:asian:

hehe...I used to date a buddy of mine who's a US Marine. it was really funny when his friends found out that I did karate and I outranked him by about four belts. they'd totally tease him, saying stuff like "oh, did your girlfriend ever beat you in a match?" and if I was there, he'd have to grudginly admit, that yes, I ran his tail around the ring in sparring matches fairly regularly. However, if it ever came down to a real hand to hand match, I have no doubt who would be the victor, and it sure as heck wouldn't be me.

more women to be in martial art classes!!!! I don't want to say women are frail or anything like that, I'm definately an equal opporunity kind of person. I just believe it could help cut down on crime rate towards women if they had just even a little bit more help with knowledge. My daughter would like to do some type of art but I personally think she's too young to understand kenpo. It could be watered down a little so maybe she could but then would you lose the actual art if it's watered down? Before I was married I had a girlfriend whom used to go to the instructor I did before switching to kenpo. We had a lot of fun and enjoyed time together when we practiced. It was kind of a rewarding feeling knowing that she could handle herself if she needed to. Now onto my wife all I can say is she doens't want anything to do with it. She made it very clear to me and that's the way we leave it. Would I like to see her learn something? Absolutely but I'm not gonna force her. I guess some women just would not want to bother. What a bumber their missing out.
Just a couple of more thoughts on the subject.
Jason Farnsworth

I never had that view before entering MA and I don't think any of my friends do. It probably has more to do with the individuals personality. Some people like to be the leader or like to be in control, it may have more to do with the woman's personality in those cases than the issue of actualy studying martial arts. also may just be a steriotype. I know where I live alot of teenage women don't engage in sports or martial arts that guys do because they don't want to apear to masculine...

This would be an interesting thread to bump into view now that we have more people on MT.

- Ceicei

I think it depends entirely upon the character and self-confidence of the boyfriend or husband. Immature and insecure mates will almost always find a problem with it - particularly if it means the woman's new-found confidence could put a damper on his CONTROLLING behavior towards her.

Maybe its an age thing? Cant say i have ever come across this attitude before.

I think it depends entirely upon the character and self-confidence of the boyfriend or husband. Immature and insecure mates will almost always find a problem with it - particularly if it means the woman's new-found confidence could put a damper on his CONTROLLING behavior towards her.I knew a woman at my old school whose ex tried to get her to stop going to class, but she never gave in to his "power play." If I were in a relationship with someone like that, I wouldn't either, because if it got to that point, the relationship would be over.

Maybe its an age thing? Cant say i have ever come across this attitude before.I don't know about other countries, but in the US it seems to be partially an age thing &/or a regional/cultural thing. For instance, in the Southern part of the USA where I live, it's still more socially acceptable for men to be in MA than women, especially in the "over 30" social circles (at least the ones I've been exposed to). However, with more women in MA in the movies in recent years, hopefully it will be more acceptable everywhere someday...

something I've noticed from helping teach and helping recruit students for my instructor... guys who don't train tend to hate it when their girlfriends take karate, but husbands who don't train tend to like it when their wives do... someone told me that its because a guy likes to protect his girlfriend, but that a husband likes knowing that his wife can take care of herself, even though he hopes she never has to...

I'm not sure if I've just run into a coincidental string of weird guys or if there's actually something to this...

gentlemen, what's your take on this observation?

I think that's a great observation and for me, what you've experienced certainly rings true. Both my wife and myself practised Kung Fu / Kickboxing at the same club for many years and I am comforted knowing she would be better prepared if trouble ever kicked off. Although most B/Fs naturally want to protect their G/Fs, it would be untrue to propose truth in the reverse of this situation - that husbands don't necessarily want to protect their wives. Personally, I would fight on my wife's behalf 'til I could stand no more, and even though we look out for each other, it'd be impossible to fulfil the role of protector every hour of every day. We have our own lives after all.

I think guys who dislike their G/Fs training aren't necessarily being chauvinistic - I think it's just the case that they haven't established their roles within the relationship. I guess, as already stated, this is an insecurity with the guys themselves - it's a shame though that their insecurities could ultimately handicap those they are supposedly looking out for.

Things on the other hand, become more understood between husband and wife, less superficial - I don't need to show my wife I'd take her part - she just knows, we both do and it's a secure feeling knowing there's always someone to defend you [and not necessarily in a physical way either]

Good thread - very interested to read the replies!

I don't know about other countries, but in the US it seems to be partially an age thing &/or a regional/cultural thing. For instance, in the Southern part of the USA where I live, it's still more socially acceptable for men to be in MA than women, especially in the "over 30" social circles (at least the ones I've been exposed to). However, with more women in MA in the movies in recent years, hopefully it will be more acceptable everywhere someday...

I'm wondering to what extent it's a case of women martial artists not being "acceptible" and to what extent women are simply less eager to enter the arts? Maybe most women see the arts as a male activity? In which case the martial arts [in it's widest definition] has a major image problem to overcome? What do you all think? If all that is true, does that imply that most women even in this day and age still perceive men as the protectors?

by "most" women I'm referring to ladies not engaged in [and not perhaps inclined towards] MA...

ps. I'm over 30 and I'd certainly welcome more women in the arts - I find clubs are *way* more balanced in their outlook and teachings when there's a 50/50 split - although we're lucky sometimes to get a 1 in 10 ratio of women to men. Why is that - now there's the question...

I know my wife has been in MA since 92 and all I can say is I"m glad. I know she can handle some stituation and I'm secure enough to stand there while she has. If she need help she will say so, but for the most part she is a very strong and bull headed individual, just like most woman of MA.
Now thats a good thing.
Terry

I'm wondering to what extent it's a case of women martial artists not being "acceptible" and to what extent women are simply less eager to enter the arts? Maybe most women see the arts as a male activity? In which case the martial arts [in it's widest definition] has a major image problem to overcome? What do you all think? If all that is true, does that imply that most women even in this day and age still perceive men as the protectors?

ps. I'm over 30 and I'd certainly welcome more women in the arts - I find clubs are *way* more balanced in their outlook and teachings when there's a 50/50 split - although we're lucky sometimes to get a 1 in 10 ratio of women to men. Why is that - now there's the question...I think you're right; it may be that most people down here (male & female) think of MA as a male activity, plus social conditioning that males are/should be the protectors. Who knows, it could be both? :idunno: I've joined a Singles group here (non-denominational), but unfortunately, it seems to have a ratio of 10 women per man, & as far as I can tell, I'm the only one who does MA. It seems to kill conversations, so I don't really talk about it much when I go to a function. Other peoples' experiences may be different...anyway, glad to hear that there are men over 30 who are ok with MA women. :) I know my wife has been in MA since 92 and all I can say is I"m glad. I know she can handle some stituation and I'm secure enough to stand there while she has. If she need help she will say so, but for the most part she is a very strong and bull headed individual, just like most woman of MA. Now thats a good thing.Good for her, Terry! She's lucky to have a supportive husband like you. Btw, do you have any brothers who are single? :lol: Just kidding. :D

I took up TKD again at age 16 after a 7-year break, and my boyfriend at the time was pretty uneasy about it. Eventually he thought it was really cool, though. He would call me up and say, "I'm bored, will you teach me TKD kicks?" I think guys my age who don't train (college age) tend to have two different attitudes because they don't know anything about it: 1. They assume that it's worthless and they can still beat you up no problem. 2. They feel immasculated because you know all kinds of ninja secrets that you can use on them. Once they understand it more they think it's really cool. I've also met guys at parties or something who ask me what I'm involved with on campus. They think it's really cool that I'm MA clubs.

I also think it's more acceptable for younger women to do MA because it's starting to be seen as something that's more attractive. I know so many guys who think that Jennifer Garner is an absolute sex goddess... not only in spite of her martial arts training, but because of it.

I don't know about other countries, but in the US it seems to be partially an age thing &/or a regional/cultural thing. For instance, in the Southern part of the USA where I live, it's still more socially acceptable for men to be in MA than women, especially in the "over 30" social circles (at least the ones I've been exposed to). However, with more women in MA in the movies in recent years, hopefully it will be more acceptable everywhere someday...

Im thinking an age thing because men tend to be more secure in themselves as they age (of course there are always exceptions). Like already said, maybe these men are not secure with their place in the relationship or in them selves.

Also young men these days are been given such mixed messages about what it is to be 'a man' and how they are spose to behave, I can understand why so many seem to be so confused with their 'roles'.

Personally, I like a good slap.

Why not make it a family affair?

I train. My wife trains. And my 8 yr old twin daughters train. Can you say, "Yes, sir. Ten o'clock is fine, sir."? :whip:

Goju Ryu, Kuntao Silat de Thouars, Serrada Escrima

Makes for some interesting dinner conversations.:ultracool

Why not make it a family affair? I train. My wife trains. And my 8 yr old twin daughters train. Goju Ryu, Kuntao Silat de Thouars, Serrada Escrima

Makes for some interesting dinner conversations.:ultracoolThat's awesome! Good for y'all! :asian:

I never dated a martial artist, and my wife has no interest in the subject (except possibly for Western fencing, which she tried in college until an old injury sidelined her). I would have been very receptive to the idea!

Why not make it a family affair?

I train. My wife trains. And my 8 yr old twin daughters train. Can you say, "Yes, sir. Ten o'clock is fine, sir."? :whip:

Goju Ryu, Kuntao Silat de Thouars, Serrada Escrima

Makes for some interesting dinner conversations.:ultracool

Instead in my family only me and my father are martial artists...My little sister tried with karate but very soon switched on dancing (and that's good for me, being outwrestled by her would be too much humiliating :lol: )

Good for her, Terry! She's lucky to have a supportive husband like you. Btw, do you have any brothers who are single? :lol: Just kidding. :D

Yes I do but he is a jerk, nothing like me!!!!http://www.martialtalk.com/forum/images/icons/icon10.gif
I'm sweet and sincere about my life and family, he believe women are there to be conquere, that is why he is still single and have nobody.
Terry

I do TKD (and just started a BJJ class)
My 13yo son and 11yo daughter and 8 yodaughter also do TKD
My 6yo son is about to start TKD

I'm trying to get my wife into it (even offered to get into her hobby with yhe kids as an exhchange...hot air ballooning)

Yeah, I pity some poor kid coming to pick up one of my daughters on a first date.....

My wife told me one of their class mates dropped TKD to stay in dancing... I said "Dancing!?! Taekwondo is just like dancing but you get to kick people"

something I've noticed from helping teach and helping recruit students for my instructor... guys who don't train tend to hate it when their girlfriends take karate, but husbands who don't train tend to like it when their wives do... someone told me that its because a guy likes to protect his girlfriend, but that a husband likes knowing that his wife can take care of herself, even though he hopes she never has to...

I'm not sure if I've just run into a coincidental string of weird guys or if there's actually something to this...

gentlemen, what's your take on this observation?

All I know is that my husband had a very interstesting reaction to seeing my practicing with my broadsword. Now I know what to do to when I would like some action in the bedroom.

I can't speak about the whole spouse issue, but I know my dad had a hard time with me starting karate, but it time he was cool with it.

For me personally, it should matter on the person who wants to persue the art and not the people around them.

While I was in the Marines I trained with a lot of women in Judo. They got off on the fact they were training against men. They had a ton of heart. Great partners too.

something I've noticed from helping teach and helping recruit students for my instructor... guys who don't train tend to hate it when their girlfriends take karate, but husbands who don't train tend to like it when their wives do... someone told me that its because a guy likes to protect his girlfriend, but that a husband likes knowing that his wife can take care of herself, even though he hopes she never has to...

I'm not sure if I've just run into a coincidental string of weird guys or if there's actually something to this...

gentlemen, what's your take on this observation?

My boss has NEVER questioned me when I said I needed time off for something at my school (seminar, graduation, etc.) I joked once to a colleagues that "Boss gets VERY quiet when I mention my Kenpo." My colleague laughed and said "Yeah, he's feeling guilty for not going to the gym"

And I wonder if that is a factor. I've been on a couple of dates recently with guys that thought it was the coolest thing that I trained...and they were both in to some kind of active hobby. Neither were in to MA but one liked to weightlift, the other did a lot of baseball playing. :)

I don't normally tell people that I do martial arts anymore, unless something is brought up. I've had one too many, "EEEYYAAHHHH!" and someone striking a pose (obviously a non- martial artist).

I don't normally tell people that I do martial arts anymore, unless something is brought up. I've had one too many, "EEEYYAAHHHH!" and someone striking a pose (obviously a non- martial artist).
When I took TKD, classes were held at the local gym. Sometimes if I was there early I would stand outside the classroom waiting on the aerobics class to finish. So many people would make "karate hands" and yell dumb things to me. Or jump back and pretend to be all scared of me. How annoying. :shrug:

I have mixed results telling people. I hated getting the black belt question before I earned mine, but somehow it's feels more awkward now. My instructor always stressed being humble, and while I love to share my knowledge, I feel like my acheivements are more private. As a result, I've found I prefer dating martial arts guys since they seem more comfortable with what I like to do. I've had it get uncomfortable if things get to competitive though. Some days it's hard to just leave it in the dojo...