Bob Hubbard
10-25-2001, 01:18 PM
The Top 13 Signs You've Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School
13> Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target.
12> First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling
into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.
11> Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his
spilled pocket protector.
10> The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars"
are just slices of old cheese.
9> The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.
8> The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of
the Three Stooges.
7> Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop
quizzes" in dark alleys.
6> Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor.
5> Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to
end.
4> Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does
not exist in this dojo!"
3> You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying
to tie your belt on.
2> Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the
neighbors when he moved in.
and the Number 1 Sign You've
Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...
1> Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a
can of whoop-ass" on someone?
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
[ You like to receive credit for your work, and so do we. ]
13> Your dojo's symbol is a bullseye target.
12> First demonstration consists of falling to the floor, curling
into the fetal position, and whimpering pitifully.
11> Frequent pauses while instructor tearfully stops to right his
spilled pocket protector.
10> The "gis" are used hospital gowns, and the "throwing stars"
are just slices of old cheese.
9> The homework is always just to watch a Jackie Chan movie.
8> The techniques are only effective if your attacker is one of
the Three Stooges.
7> Instructor's low fees enhanced by take from one-on-one "pop
quizzes" in dark alleys.
6> Benihana has a restraining order against your instructor.
5> Local muggers gather in the parking lot waiting for class to
end.
4> Current students bark out on cue the phrase "Insurance does
not exist in this dojo!"
3> You take yourself to the mat 4 out of 5 times simply trying
to tie your belt on.
2> Sensei's "ancient Chinese secret" required notifying the
neighbors when he moved in.
and the Number 1 Sign You've
Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School...
1> Did Confucius ever really say he was "going to open up a
can of whoop-ass" on someone?
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ]
[ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ]
[ To forward or repost, please include this section. ]
[ You like to receive credit for your work, and so do we. ]