Owning Up To It

[Rob Broad]

Have you ever accidnetally tagged some one a little harder then you meant to in class. Has it ever happened to you? I personally believe it the philosphy of admitting it was my fault immediately and apologizing. How many people have that as their way of doing things as well.

[Kenpo Mama]

You just know the moment that you make contact, you can hear it and feel it, oops, and usually i will immediately apologize. This happens to me with backfists or elbow strikes, you just get that momentum going and bang. Training partners will usually say, "oh that's okay" and we move on from there. In the schools i've been to there hasn't been a lot of retaliation for misdirected or excessive striking, it is after all martial arts.

Donna %-}

[theletch1]

I think that most of us have, at some point or another, not pulled a punch fast enough, torqued a wrist a little too hard or done any number of things that have caused a little undue pain to our training partner. When that happens I certainly feel that it's proper to give a quick "you alright?" Now, I've done randori where a little extra pain was acceptable so neither undue concern nor apologies were needed.

[Rob Broad]

It is good to see peopel owning their mistakes. I hate it when someone hits you and acts like it was your fault.

[The Boar Man]

Yeah I'll admit it. And generally try and move on.

Two times though I got dressed down for to much contact, I bloddied an assistant instructor's lip, and heel kicked an instructor in the mouth (who didn't wear a mouth piece. Both of these happened when I was a brown belt, and they were black belts.

When the black belt dressed me down for heel kicking him in the mouth, a dojo friend told our instructor about it. He told me "Did you knock him out?" "Well no" "Then Mark you controlled it. He didn't wear his mouth piece and he failed to block. Don't worry about it. You could have taken his head off."

Some time later (months or a year or so) we were sparring at my instructor's dojo and my instructor and I were getting after it. We clashed and low and behold my instructor brings his hands up to guard his face from my left heel kick. Well I stop/hesitate and then threw it, he in the mean time drops his guard because I hesitated and he thought we were breaking. The one and only time I hit him without him purposedly letting me (or maybe it was the first time I hit him) I heel kicked him in the face breaking his nose. Beautiful kick, his resposne "Great Kick!" One of the guys was training in the medical field so he ran out to his car and brought back a huge tacklebox looking thing with all of this first aid stuff and they reset the nose right there. We finished out the class continuing with the sparring. It was later that I learned that after class they took him to the emergency room to get it set right and him checked out. He knew I didn't mean to kick him like that when he thought we were breaking, and that I felt terrible that I broke his nose, but he made sure that I knew he wasn't mad at me and that it was an accident.

Quite a difference from the first two incidents.

Mark

[8253]

One should always take responsibility for their own actions and apologize when nessissary.

[Turner]

Is it good training to just stop what you are doing and immediately apologize over and over again or wait for the person to apologize over and over again? It's said "You fight like you train." If in training you make serious contact and immediately start apologizing like crazy, how are you doing to react to being tagged or tagging someone in a real fight.

Safety always comes first. If a person is bloddied or otherwise seriously injured, I don't expect them to continue on in the training session. But if the blow is just a little harder than normal... If real contact is made during a non-contact sparring match... they should keep going. I don't want a student's natural reaction to hitting someone to be to freak out because I'd want them to follow up with another strike on the street.

Wait until after the drill or after the match to apologize. I think everyone should expect to get tagged pretty hard. After all, it is martial arts and not chess.

[mj-hi-yah]

Of course, it happens! In fact I remember Kenpo Mama making two guys see stars when she did Snakes of Wisdom on them (their heads butted together like Curly and Mo). Remember that Donna? ;) After we all had a laugh, she of course said she was sorry, and no one blamed her! Then I think one of them did it to her and another guy. It's happens...it's karate. I've done my share and taken my share. You know that going in, but it is always polite to say you are sorry. :) After all, it's not the good guys we're looking to hurt!:btg:

[Kenpo Mama]

Of course, it happens! In fact I remember Kenpo Mama making two guys see stars when she did Snakes of Wisdom on them (their heads butted together like Curly and Mo). Remember that Donna? ;) After we all had a laugh, she of course said she was sorry, and no one blamed her! Then I think one of them did it to her and another guy. It's happens...it's karate. I've done my share and taken my share. You know that going in, but it is always polite to say you are sorry. :) After all, it's not the good guys we're looking to hurt!:btg:


Yes, I do remember MJ, and i should say they were lucky i wasn't doing Marriage of the Rams (first strikes to the groins then the head butts) - coulda' got two-fers on that one! And you are correct it is always polite to say you are sorry :wink2: I think we've all given and received on numerous occassions! BTW Congrats on your BB! I heard & read it was awesome! Welcome to the club!

Donna :asian:

[terryl965]

All the time in the heat of the moment and as Instructors we must alway extend a hand and apologys first and formost. GOD BLESS AMERICA

[kenpo tiger]

I always apologize. However, it bothers me when a male training partner clocks me accidently and stops and makes a big deal out of it. I will usually say it's my own fault because I didn't block it or wasn't focused. And Kenpo Mama is right. There is no retaliation in our school.

The only one I get angry with is me. KT

[DoxN4cer]

Have you ever accidnetally tagged some one a little harder then you meant to in class. Has it ever happened to you? I personally believe it the philosphy of admitting it was my fault immediately and apologizing. How many people have that as their way of doing things as well.

It's just the decent thing to do.

[mj-hi-yah]

Yes, I do remember MJ, and i should say they were lucky i wasn't doing Marriage of the Rams (first strikes to the groins then the head butts) - coulda' got two-fers on that one! And you are correct it is always polite to say you are sorry :wink2: I think we've all given and received on numerous occassions! BTW Congrats on your BB! I heard & read it was awesome! Welcome to the club!

Donna :asian:Ohhhh... LOL on Marriage of the Rams. :btg: Thanks for the congrats! :wink2: This is one membership I hope to keep up! :)

MJ :asian:

[RCastillo]

Have you ever accidnetally tagged some one a little harder then you meant to in class. Has it ever happened to you? I personally believe it the philosphy of admitting it was my fault immediately and apologizing. How many people have that as their way of doing things as well.

Only once in my 23 years, that I can remember. I was against my 1st TKD Instructor.

I always stress safety, and once the rules are explained, I'll allow one transgression, after that, you'll sit, or leave.

If another wants to go at it, I will, but I'd rather not, there's no profit in it. Anyone can hit hard, and hurt, or get hurt. :asian:

[OC Kid]

back in the day, My best bud Jeff and I would spar after class and during class and literally bang each other out. we would come back to the following class and show each other our bruises. It was a respect thing between us.

[Rob Broad]

I am glad to see so many people still being courteous when training. Too mnay times when visiting schools I have seen people get hit and nothing said or worse someone blaming the other person when they hit someone.

[Storm]

I used to over apololgise to everyone as I felt so bad. I hated the thought that I had no control over my moves.

I still make mistakes now, but so do others. Im not going to go on and on about it when someone hits me hard as I know they didnt mean to (hopefully!!) and same here. All you need to do is say sorry once and get over it and carry on with your training.

It doesnt actually do you any hard to get that smack in the chops that stuns you occasionally as it makes you aware of how you would or might react with the real thing.

We like to show off our bruises as well..Kinda sick really.

[don bohrer]

I've hit and been hit harder than should have. I'm always careful but accidents happen and when they do I apologise right away. If I'm blasted a little to hard I don't make a big deal over it. I however will not be someone's punching bag and will ask someone who's not right to get their act together.

Don (El Paso)

[MichiganTKD]

I have often hit people harder than I should have, a couple of times in places I shouldn't have. Two times I remember:

1. Years ago at a testing, I was free fighting a pregnant woman and contacted her with a back side kick dead on into the abdomen. It wasn't that I hit her particularly hard-I didn't. I think it was the timing. I hit her right when she was coming in and her momentum was forward. She seemed okay, then collapsed like a house of cards moaning in pain. This was in front of everyone. I felt horrible about that.

2. One of my Instructor's Senior Students flew in from Wyoming and brought one of his red belts with him. During free fighting, I hit him with an axe kick to his face hard enough to draw blood. My Instructor told me to take him to the bathroom and talk to him. I figured "What am I supposed to say? Keep your hands up next time?"

[OULobo]

When I spar, we usually go 30-60%. At this speed we usually just suck it up and keep going, but if it is a really good tag, I usually hold out a glove for agknowledgment. This lets them know I'm not escalating and lets them respond to say it's all good in a quick method that doesn't stop the training flow. That is the situation with all the old hats. We're too old to really want to hurt each other (and I'm only 26). The bad part is when you have new people, people with something to prove or people who haven't mastered their temper. They take a lucky shot as a challenge, they instantly escalate to harder shots and they stop learning. If I tag a newbie good I stop the fight for a few seconds to see if he's cool enough to continue. Sometimes I have to knock the temper out of them. That's the worst case scenario. They either learn from it or they quit after the fight. Either way no matter what I apologize for too hard shots and I give props when I good shots put on me. the key is showing that out of they ring its friends, or at the very least just business/training. Now stick training is different. In sticks I always apologize with a wince and a word.

[KenpoTess]

Yep..I like to bloody beaks..

Let's see.. Stickdummy and I were sparring.. he had just shown me a Penjak Silat move.. and I tried it out on him.. he scampered off the mats with a bloody beak, returning with tissues stuffed up it, and we finished the fight, He had a grin on his bloody face from ear to ear cuz I did the tec so well :D

Another time a yellow belt decided he should be as fast as me and he tried to match my punches.. *he shoulda been blocking* and he got a happy bloody nose..

Another BB from another system spars with us.. he seemingly always leaves his beak open.. and my fist always seems to connect with it.. :shrug:

There's been many in my training days.. mostly when my opponent turns into my fist or foot.. I dunno.. guess it's just par for the course..
I've had my share of injuries from others as well.. No big deal.. only a big deal if they are doing it on purpose, and those few were dealt with in a very 'nice' way ;)

~Tess

[MichiganTKD]

A friend of mine who was my unofficial sparring partner would try to outdo each other all the time. He was notorious for trying off-kilter moves (judo throws, weird steps etc.) just to see how I would react. If he contacted my head with a high kick he would mock apologize. So then I'd hit him in the stomach with a stronger side kick and give him a "How do you like that?" look.
It's actually a wonder neither of us ended up in the hospital.

[Flatlander]

1. Years ago at a testing, I was free fighting a pregnant woman and contacted her with a back side kick dead on into the abdomen. It wasn't that I hit her particularly hard-I didn't. I think it was the timing. I hit her right when she was coming in and her momentum was forward. She seemed okay, then collapsed like a house of cards moaning in pain. This was in front of everyone. I felt horrible about that.

Oh my god! What on earth was she even doing there? Holy crap man. Yeah, I would've felt awful as well in that scenario. Holy crap.

[OC Kid]

On the same note, what do you as instructors do to students who enjoy beating on under belts/ weaker students. Coming up through the ranks there was this brown belt who used to beat on all the white belts/beginners. he would call them 2 legged punching bags (for reals) My instructor never really talked t or disciplined this guy. Consequently as we went up in rank we got to where we would beat on him , I mean bad. he eventually quit BTW he also never achieved his B/B. made to many enemies I guess He figured everyone would take it out on him if he did test.

[martialpunk]

After each night of sparring, we go through the ranks making sure that there are no problems that will continue once class is over. It is also a time to acknowledge a nice technique or to rat out someone who is fighting dirty. I have been in the martial arts for only four years, however, the worst injuries that I have seen only include a concussion and bloody nose.

I do feel bad when I hurt someone, it is just a natural human reaction, those who enjoy inflicting immense pain (other than the general pain) on their training partners are not right.

oc kid
we had a guy like that, he was spoken to a few times, it was bad enough that less experienced students were afraid to fight him because he would hurt them and not really teach them anything. He would not change his behavior and he was asked to leave.

[Zepp]

Everyone in our class apologizes if they make what might even seem like excessive contact, but we rarely stop the action unless it's a hard hit. Sometimes, it's the other guy's fault for walking into a technique head-on, but I still say "sorry" before I give them some advice on how to avoid it next time. My instructor apologized to me both times he bloodied my nose, even though at least once was definitely my fault.


Coming up through the ranks there was this brown belt who used to beat on all the white belts/beginners. he would call them 2 legged punching bags (for reals) My instructor never really talked t or disciplined this guy. Consequently as we went up in rank we got to where we would beat on him , I mean bad. he eventually quit BTW he also never achieved his B/B. made to many enemies I guess He figured everyone would take it out on him if he did test.

We used to have a guy around like that. Our instructor warned him on several occasions, and he eventually asked him to stop coming to class. But that guy was a real sociopath. I know, because I made the mistake of roomming with him for a year. :disgust: (Only time I ever threatened to kill someone, and closest I ever came to carrying it out.)

[Rob Broad]

Is there a point where it just becomes annoying? Does having the same person keep apologizing to the point where it just seems ridiculous. I know we all have worked with that one person who will end up hitting a little hard 7 out of 10 punches. How do you deal with this type of person?

[Tony]

I always apologise if I hurt someone while sparring, but my instructor says you have already apologised when you touch gloves. But still if I accidentally kick someone in the groin I will apologise, drop and do pressups.

[The Boar Man]

Is there a point where it just becomes annoying? Does having the same person keep apologizing to the point where it just seems ridiculous. I know we all have worked with that one person who will end up hitting a little hard 7 out of 10 punches. How do you deal with this type of person?

Rob

I was brought up in a hard contact type of school, if we hit a little to hard, we'd generally touch gloves and be done with it. There was no really "oops sorry for this, oops sorry for that" we just knew the guy or we made a mistake and that was it. No big deal.

Myself I perfer it that way, if I'm the higher rank and I tag a student hard I'll ask if they are all right and continue on. If the contact was a good hit and they are handly it well then I'll extend my glove to them and we go on. This way there isn't really a break so to speak.

However if I'm working with a senior belt and they tag me hard it's a different story in that I wait for them, if they ask then I answer, if they extend the glove, then I'll touch it. If they tell me to stop and catch my breath, jump and up and etc. etc. then I'll do that.

The senior belt should watch the person who got tagged and see if they need to step in and "save" them from the other person (or them themself for that matter).

Mark

[OC Kid]

Yea Mark for the most part with my school coming through the ranks it all depended on the attitude behind the contact. Like the jerk off I mentioned earlier, He got his as everyone progressed. He never improved. When I was hit (back then we didnt have to even wear protection gear other than cups) It was all based on the attitude there is a difference if someone just hits hard or if someone is mean and just likes to hurt people.

[MichiganTKD]

In our organization, the black belts kept each other honest. If someone was contacting you particularly hard, you practiced until you could reciprocate. Unless the guy was noticeably bigger and stronger, in which case the Instructor would talk to him. If that didn't work, the other black belts would take care of things themselves. This is the way of martial arts.
There was one guy I was scared to death to fight, because he did not hold back. I figured, it wouldn't do me any good to complain. I practiced until I understood his technique, then it didn't work on me anymore.