I thought I'd share some dumb criminal stories I've read or seen on video. Please feel free to add your own.
-A suspect was being pursued by the police and their K9 unit, a german shepherd. The suspect, being of higher intelligence than most, decided he would subdue the dog by biting its ear. He bit the dog's ear and the dog tore him up.
-Police knock on door of suspect's house. Suspect, hippy-goofy-redneck- sort-of-guy, opens the door.
"Sir, we have suspicion that you are a cultivator of marijuana and we have a warrant to search the premises."
"I ain't no cultivator."
"Sir, we'd like to search your premises. We suspect you are growing marijuana."
"I'll show you the pot man, but I ain't no cultivator; I'm a Presbyterian!"
A pretty young girl, Carmen, worked at a convenience store. One night while she was working, a man came in and robbed her.
She gave the police a description of the offender. They picked up a man who fit the description not far from the store.
The police drove Carmen to where they were holding the suspect and wanted her to make an identification.
Carmen was standing outside of the cruiser and the suspect climbed out of the cruiser he was in.
Before Carmen could open her mouth, the suspect said, "Yes suh, that's her, that's the girl I robbed!" as he nodded his head emphatically.